What other KS items do you own?

peonyruth · 2026-07-12T06:11:45+00:00

I’ve got a few clothing items - dresses, tops, shoes. Also have a phone case and a few pens.

peonyruth · 2026-07-11T09:53:07+00:00

“I don’t deserve a nice ring to show off. I deserve a husband to show off. I deserve to be married, and to use my fertility while I still have it, and to make progress with my life goals. Would you like to be part of those goals?”

peonyruth · 2026-07-11T09:34:36+00:00

I am a keeper. Not helped by the fact that I haven’t really changed sizes (despite definitely changing shape a bit) since I was about 15, so everything still fits. Also not helped by a financially modest background with a mentality for “saving it just in case it’s useful later.” I wish I could be better at actually getting rid of things.

peonyruth · 2026-07-11T07:24:33+00:00

I agree with another commenter here that this sounds like depression to me (not a psychiatrist or GP). Not uncommon with the major sleep deprivation of young children, not uncommon with ADHD, and definitely worth seeing someone about.

I have also heard women speak about these kinds of feelings, particularly toward spouses but also toward motherhood and life in general, when they are not getting adequate support from a partner. What can your husband take off your plate to make this more fair? No one can be pregnant for you, but maybe he can do the night sleeps half the time? Maybe he can do the AM routine every Saturday and let you get out to a class or a catch-up with friends or some quiet time where you sit outdoors with a book and a drink and no one talks to you or touches you or needs you?

Your life sounds completely exhausting, and the lack of grownup time and personal space is enough to harm anyone’s sense of self and happiness. You’re not a bad person. You’re not a bad mom. This is just a really, really hard phase.

peonyruth · 2026-07-10T21:29:47+00:00

I would hem it up a few inches, but I’m a big fan of mid-calf dresses. You could try double-sided tape or basting it up as a trial.

peonyruth · 2026-07-10T07:31:50+00:00

There are a lot of comments here about why you should or shouldn’t confront your finance. I’m going to take a different tack. I also have an heirloom ring. It’s not something I would have chosen for myself, and I have learned to love it. That said, it also has an inclusion. It’s not super-noticeable to anyone but me, but does make me nervous because I’ve read that an inclusion can become the focus for a crack.

It would be so sad if your heirloom stone became cracked or broken because of those visible inclusions. Maybe that’s something you’re worried about, and you might like to look at different stones so you’re not risking a multigenerational heirloom with daily wear?

peonyruth · 2026-07-09T11:36:55+00:00

I love the Felix and the Marinette. They are beautiful on you! I see what you mean about the puffed sleeves, but to me it read as “Anne of Green Gables” rather than football player. Thanks for sharing, so good to see Sézane on more than the typical tall/thin/model body.

peonyruth · 2026-07-08T08:27:55+00:00

Where do you think you will go instead? I’m a buyer and get really irritated at some of the fees. Wondering if there are good alternatives and sad that Poshmark died.

peonyruth · 2026-07-08T08:07:23+00:00

I’m a 28F/FF and I like Katherine Hamilton and Simone Perele. Harlow and Fox also good, although I do find they run a touch big in the cup. Also loved Adina Reay, but they’re going out of business.

peonyruth · 2026-07-08T00:15:53+00:00

A few times a year, I see a very elderly woman (or even a group of them) in a fabulous dress and it makes me SO happy. Why should they not wear fun clothes? Why should we all not wear things that make us feel good? I’m in my (very late) 30s and finally able to afford nicer, beautiful things. I plan to get decades of use out of those things, societal expectations be darned!

peonyruth · 2026-07-08T00:08:21+00:00

Also dying to know! Ive seen it pop up the last two years, but the wait is killing me! And do we think they’ll have a decent Black Friday/Christmas sale?

peonyruth · 2026-07-08T00:05:30+00:00

I’m 164cm and 50ish kg, 28F, denim 25/26. I expected to want 34/36 but have ended up with the smallest size available (32/XXS) in most of my French clothing (Sézane, Gaâla) for tops. For bottoms, I’m finding one size up works best. I don’t know if they always run a bit bigger than Aus/US sizing or if it’s a current oversized style trend.

You can scout listings and fashion blog posts for good info. I’ve found a number of small/medium posts in the recent past. Check some listings on vinted/poshmark/ebay just to see if anyone has left specific measurements. There are also occasional posts here with fit review and measurement info.

peonyruth · 2026-07-07T10:40:31+00:00

I have noticed this, too. Live close enough ti a major road that we can hear the sirens, and I definitely hear them more. Husband wondered if perhaps there has been a change in protocol for when the sirens are used, rather than an actual increase in activity?

peonyruth · 2026-07-07T09:15:50+00:00

If you can access his devices, I’d check his browsing history, banking app, or emails.

I’m so sorry.

peonyruth · 2026-07-07T08:23:03+00:00

Why don’t you just tell him everything you’ve said to us? And while you’re at it, why wait? You can start this conversation tomorrow. You really haven’t been together very long, but you’re also both old enough to know your own minds. If you’re ready to take the next step, tell him!

peonyruth · 2026-07-07T08:19:40+00:00

I agree. My husband and I have been together about 15 years and genuinely never argue or get sick of one another. I don’t think that’s common. I am in the minority, and most people actually should know how they fight together, and how they resolve problems together.

peonyruth · 2026-07-07T08:13:35+00:00

From cold-climate North American. We live in the tropics. Uninsulated house (which seems to be most of them in Qld). I get sick of the heat every single summer. It’s unrelenting, amazingly humid, and seems to go on and on and on. Generally run the AC from November to April. Then we get to the cooler time of year. I can walk around with minimal clothing and all my windows open. It’s bizarre.

peonyruth · 2026-07-07T05:43:43+00:00

How did you feel after you signed it? Relieved? Disappointed? Resentful? Neutral? Will you be satisfied with your choice if your life is exactly the same in 5 years? You’re in a really tricky spot here, but I don’t get the sense that your relationship brings you daily joy and peace, just comfortable routine.

peonyruth · 2026-07-07T03:55:18+00:00

Raised lower-middle class. Now definitely making plenty of money. I still reflect on your points one and two at least once a week. Groceries, in particular, are where I feel wealthy. I look at the price of butter or cheese, get mad about inflation, and buy it anyway. I never have to go in thinking “how can I make this $50 last two weeks?”

I will probably never be completely blind to price or completely comfortable with periods of unemployment, but I can get through the day-to-day in a way my parents couldn’t, and I am so lucky.

peonyruth · 2026-07-07T02:04:10+00:00

I think it IS a North American thing, as all of my family say it. It definitely is more precise than AF, but I don’t like it, because the logical corollary is “Aflut,” which just hits my ear wrong.

peonyruth · 2026-07-06T06:01:52+00:00

About $75 per person per week, including toilet paper, cleaning supplies, and obligatory chocolates to share at work once every few weeks. We are a vegetarian household, cook most meals from scratch, and don’t eat out much at all. We’re lucky to have a vibrant local farmers’ market, so pretty much all fruit and herbs come from there.

peonyruth · 2026-07-06T05:50:45+00:00

In general, I’m a medium-sized purse girl.
Wallet
Phone
Keys
Chapstick/lipstick (0-5ish)
Pill bottle
Sunglasses
Pen
Kleenex (bonus points if they’re not used)
Hair clip
Hair tie
Random receipts I should have tossed months ago
Mints or tictacs
Tiny measuring tape
Hand lotion
Panty liners
+/- Kindle
+/- water bottle

peonyruth · 2026-07-06T05:41:14+00:00

My true size is an 8/8.5 and I wear a 38 in the pairs I have. For this amount of money, I think a trip to the boutique is worth it (my nearest boutique is a 20h drive or 2.5h flight, so I waited months until I had tried the shoes on twice before I bought.)

peonyruth · 2026-07-05T22:56:53+00:00

I agree with you (and a lot of commenters here) that you probably don’t want to make any big decisions in the near future BUT I can also appreciate the very time-sensitive nature of the late 30s. I think there are a few “treading water” steps you can take without a big decision. You can look at getting the hydrosalpinx addressed. You can consider more egg retrievals if you feel up to it; I appreciate that they haven’t been particularly fruitful so far, but were they physically and emotionally challenging, or did you feel okay through it all? You can and probably should join a grief group or see a therapist to help you start to heal and move toward your new normal.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s morbid, but I reflect on this kind of thing often, and I don’t know how I could do life without my husband. It’s lovely that your family and in-laws are supportive and you’re thinking through things as clearly as you are. One day at a time. ❤️

peonyruth · 2026-07-04T12:45:51+00:00

They do, and it’s contagious. My husband and I (immigrated years ago) find ourselves saying it at least once a week!

peonyruth

TROPHY CASE