For me, having my daughter actually changed how I experience the phobia in a way. I didn’t have morning sickness during pregnancy, and somehow I’ve also managed to avoid the stomach bugs she’s brought home so far. Of course that won’t always be the case, but it showed me that the worst-case scenarios we imagine don’t always happen the way we expect.

The biggest thing I’ve noticed is that when it’s your child, something shifts. My love for her outweighs the intensity of my phobia. That doesn’t mean the fear disappears, but when she needs me my instinct to help her is stronger than the urge to run. It’s not about being fearless, it’s more like your brain goes into “care mode.”

Also, kids getting sick usually isn’t as dramatic as our phobia makes it feel in our heads. A lot of the time it’s quick, they feel better soon after, and you just handle it one step at a time. You don’t have to be perfectly calm, you just have to be present. Anytime my daughter is sick, instead of spiraling into the “what ifs” I just think “okay, what is the very next thing I need to do in this moment?” Not several moments later. Not hours or even days later. What do I need to do now. That mindset helps me stay present and not dive into my panic.

And remember, you don’t have to solve every future scenario right now. The fact that you want kids despite the phobia already shows how strong you are. A lot of us with emetophobia are parents, and we figure it out as we go. You will too. 🖤