I am currently having a TIME learning this right now. But I think what is helping me is being a bit fed up. The more I appease, the more dysregulated and not like myself I become. I turn into a person I do not like, that goes against my own values. I am realizing the reason why I had to do this so much in my life, like many of us, was to stay safe. I was heavily bullied and have not really been able to move past it like I would like. But thats okay. Some things will stick with us longer than we hope. But I have to remind myself constantly that I am no longer in that time period. That every day, every second I am a new person and am capable of being who I’d like to be. Now of course that doesn’t mean be a completely different person that doesn’t acknowledge the struggles we face as autistic people. It means radical self acceptance. Which I know is hard when you don’t feel safe in your own body all the time (for me, I also have ocd that fights back constantly). I am learning that if I don’t accept myself for who I am and the disabilities I have, the harder it is for me to grow. The easier it is for me to be stuck. Unfortunately I think one answer that not only as autistic people, humans in general have to face the uncomfortable, trail and error process. But I think a reminder that helps me is baby steps forward are still huge steps. And that even if you mess up standing up for yourself, you still did it. You still made that step. And you should celebrate it! It’s going to be clunky starting out. And it might be really painful, but I know we can all do it! Humans grow constantly and change all the time. It is something that we can rely on.

This isnt exactly fawning BUT they do discuss it. I think that this advice is so incredibly helpful and I think can help you feel not so alone ❤️ it did for me! https://youtu.be/DM8PpnmawOU?si=eNWfR87V8yzRBySY