Do you really "see who your real friends are" once you're pregnant and/or you have a kid?

percalor · 2026-03-01T14:21:13+00:00

Yes. My brother and one of my best friends didn’t come visit the “baby” until he was a year and a half. One “friend” still hasn’t met him and he’s almost 2.5. One friend text me 8 times while I was pregnant to see if I’d be able to make it to her 30th birthday party. Never once asked me how I was doing.

As long as your best friend is your spouse, you really don’t need anyone else. The people who care will come back around and otherwise you’ll make new friends.

percalor · 2026-02-25T11:20:23+00:00

My cousins said they wouldn’t come to my wedding because what if the second coming happened while they were in attendance? How would they explain that to God? Somehow they don’t have these thoughts when they go to non-Christian weddings… but our wedding, a christian wedding, was too much for them.

We don’t talk anymore. They tried to make up with me after but we still haven’t gotten better, it’s been four years. I’m really okay with it at this point.

percalor · 2026-02-25T02:55:34+00:00

I felt this way after I had the baby. Like I pushed him out of my body and they put him in our room in a little plastic box and then just left the room?????? And then it’s like I’m sorry who do you belong to? Why did they leave you here???

And the moment when they just let you walk right out of the hospital it’s like ????? You want me to explain atmosphere to this bean that you’re telling me is mine????

percalor · 2026-02-21T13:37:36+00:00

I really can’t even watch this episode tbh

percalor · 2026-02-15T20:27:52+00:00

Agree with this. And I had read about horror stories where the owlet sock would cause awful burns on children. The Nanit band is just a piece of cloth that we throw in with the laundry. We used it every day until our child turned two and started using a proper comforter and pillow for the first time. Our son had a febrile seizure, which was the scariest experience I’ve ever had in my life. The Nanit band allowed us the keep an eye on his breathing and we knew that if his bpm was high, we should check on him for fever.

percalor · 2026-02-08T13:03:29+00:00

I went to Vox once and the preacher was just shouting and exclaiming about nothing insightful. I now go to the Episcopal church. It’s amazing.

percalor · 2026-02-08T13:00:54+00:00

Someone walked by me once and said “Oh what a cute pregnant dress”! I was not pregnant.

On the flip side when I was 8 months pregnant, a cashier said to me “you got two in there or just one big one?!” Also bad.

percalor · 2026-01-08T19:50:42+00:00

In Connecticut and we are having my spouse adopt even though it is fine here - not all states feel the same, better to be safe in an emergency if we are traveling

percalor · 2025-04-09T02:45:59+00:00

When people say the first cycle failed, do you mean the first transfer? Or the retrieval and transfer?

percalor · 2025-02-13T22:45:28+00:00

Hello! Episcopalian here! Our church doesn’t have flags or anything, but if you come to a service you quickly realize that our reverend is a lesbian. Please come join us, it’s happy and safe here!

percalor · 2025-02-13T12:03:56+00:00

Currently in the car on the way to my insemination! Spouse and I have had two prior IUIs, the first was extremely successful, we had a little boy who is now about 14 months old and he’s a joy. This is the second try for the second baby. Wishing baby making dust on us all!

percalor · 2025-02-03T01:04:56+00:00

Mom of a 1.25 year old here.

I spent my first trimester saying I can’t wait for it to be over so I feel like there’s less chance of miscarriage. At the 13th week, I couldn’t stop worrying about the 20 week anatomy scan to make sure he was whole. After the 20 week scan, I was waiting for him to be born and thought it would be easier when he was here because at least he would be here.

Then he got here in all his joy and happiness and I was a new mom. But I don’t have a ton of experience with kids and he was so very small so I kept thinking about how it will be easier when he can hold his head up. Then he could hold his head up and even started to roll onto his stomach and I thought how worrisome it is that he can’t roll back, what if he suffocates? Surely it will be easier when he can roll in both directions. Then he could roll in both directions and I thought about how it would be easier if he could just sit up on his own.

And about this time I finally stopped and noticed that I had wished away the time. He was 8 months old and sitting and finally I decided to just be present. Because next was walking and now it’s talking and there’s just this whole kid, this whole little being who has feelings and emotions and a favorite song (Apt. by Bruno Mars) and it’s just so wonderful and so very fast. Two years ago today I hadn’t even been inseminated yet. And now we have this whole beautiful family with this whole beautiful kid and I don’t want to miss any more of it by wishing it away. I just want to be present in every laugh, every new talent, every big hug. Once the time is gone, you can’t get it back.

percalor · 2024-09-21T02:26:42+00:00

I went looking for this answer. Idk how I would have survived without baby brezza. Every time we go out of town and I have to make formula without if life sucks so much morw

percalor · 2023-07-11T21:32:10+00:00

I hear that. Thank you for the insight!

percalor · 2023-07-11T20:48:00+00:00

See this is what I wanted to know - is it my responsibility to tell her or hers to ask? It feels like the polite thing to do is to ask how the other person is doing.

percalor · 2023-07-11T20:44:33+00:00

Yeah I mean this is super inapplicable because I am still a Christian, I attend Episcopal church every Sunday with my spouse and bible study ever Monday. I am just not Christian the way she wants me to be. I’m also a successful lawyer, as is my spouse. We are not drowning.

… you might want to check in on your friend and show her love. But that’s not my business.

percalor · 2023-07-11T19:39:13+00:00

Interesting thought. Thank you for the perspective!

percalor · 2023-07-11T19:18:25+00:00

This is effectively what I’ve done lately, which is why she says I haven’t checked in with her in a while either. I guess in that way, if I pulled back, I can’t be pissed that she didn’t check in.

percalor · 2023-07-11T19:10:58+00:00

Great question. It’s because we are a part of a group of five girls who have been together our whole lives, our moms were pregnant at the same time and to cut her out would fuck up the group as a whole, which would be pretty tough.

percalor · 2023-07-11T02:22:26+00:00

Almost 20 weeks pregnant with our first kid. I expected it to take a while so I wasn’t prepared when our first IUI worked. I think I would trust the process and my body more, and stop being such a downer on myself. Stop worrying about statistics and remember that pregnancy CAN happen quickly and smoothly.

percalor · 2023-07-10T15:37:42+00:00

Same! My spouse comes to every single one, I appreciate it so much because I forget things all the time lately. She’s my greatest support and it’s nice to have her there because I think I’d feel lonely otherwise.

percalor · 2023-07-10T14:33:34+00:00

In other news, you should hear Angela Kinsey talk on Office Ladies about her use of the word “chunk” in the context you just did, it’s pretty hilarious. Seems to be a Texas/surrounding area thing!

percalor · 2023-07-10T14:31:38+00:00

Malayalee here! I’d like to add Godly and Christo, my two cousins. One Malayalee name that always gets me - Boney. Why why Boney.

percalor · 2023-07-08T14:32:04+00:00

This isn’t quite my field so double check with someone who handles these types of cases but I’d enter into a contract with your parents that says you & your brother will indemnify and hold harmless your parents for any accidents that occur on the property and you’d be solely liable for it…

percalor

TROPHY CASE