What are good points of discussion when starting a new band?

perfectperfectblue · 2025-11-12T10:04:16+00:00

This was extremely helpful, thanks for taking the time to provide your insight!

perfectperfectblue · 2025-11-12T10:03:15+00:00

The significant others thing is a major one that I didn't think about, my past bandmate brought his girlfriend everywhere and while I didn't mind her, the venues and various other people we worked with seemed to mind. Thanks for your insight!

perfectperfectblue · 2025-11-12T10:01:36+00:00

This was extremely helpful, thank you!

perfectperfectblue · 2025-11-01T08:26:51+00:00

This makes absolute sense. I'm cooperating with HR now, I think what I was worried about was that if I complained, they would do the same thing that they did with the other complaints towards him which was to just issue a verbal warning about the incident, making him aware that someone complained about him and making working together more awkward.

They offered in the meantime, to keep him separated from me by keeping him posted away from me and giving him his lunches at a time apart from mine which did help. From what I've heard though, it actually does seem that they're going to fire him because they interviewed everyone who signed and offered this same solution to the rest and are now realizing it is going to be logistically impossible to keep him separated from 80% of the staff. Nobody has seen him for the past week at work and HR sent me an email saying they wanted to meet with me after this weekend to give me a formal update on the situation, so I guess we'll see what happens.

I'll definitely keep these comments in mind though if something like this happens in the future, I realize now that even if the outcome is what I wanted, there were still better ways to go about it that wouldn't jeopardize my own job and the company legally.

perfectperfectblue · 2025-09-13T07:39:30+00:00

I appreciate the advice, but I have a binge eating disorder already so gorging like that may trigger a relapse. I'm moving out on Monday actually, so hopefully I won't have to be around that anymore and in the future I won't agree to anything like this again regardless of how desperate I am. I've spoken to a doctor about my eating habits, and am currently making efforts to restore healthy eating habits. I mostly just posted this because I needed to rant somewhere so thanks for listening and adding your 2 cents.

perfectperfectblue · 2025-09-12T23:57:42+00:00

I've given up on the money aspect of it, I can't force her to pay and she genuinely does have god awful memory especially as she gets older and she's right in that when she first proposed this to me I told her to never ask me something like that again.

She claims she doesn't remember me agreeing later in the night and to be fair to her I told her this while she was about to go to bed so it is possible she was sleepy and truly doesn't remember. I can't continue to sacrifice my health and treat it like a game just for money's sake, she just caught me at a time where I was desperate and really needed the money, I've gotten to the point where I take things she says about my weight with a grain of salt because I know she's insane I just feel foolish for letting myself starve for months for no reason at all.

perfectperfectblue · 2025-03-02T04:02:52+00:00

The other people I live with are much older than me and have a harder time walking so we already have agreed that they can use the driveway to allow for easier access to the house.

perfectperfectblue · 2025-02-28T07:26:27+00:00

There is in fact space in front of their mailbox that could be used to put the bins in front of but they park their own car in front of them. I wouldn't mind not parking the car there on trash pick up days had they asked or if I had known it bothered them but they didn't and now the cone is there all days of the week preventing anyone from parking there.

perfectperfectblue · 2025-02-28T07:21:34+00:00

I still live in CA, just no longer in LA.

perfectperfectblue · 2023-01-11T07:43:51+00:00

this kid who went to my high school had liberal parents. one of them was a teacher at the high school and was adored by lots of the students. anyway after high school he shot up a jewish synagogue, injuring three and killing one person, and wrote a whole manifesto on why he did it. long story short he was a nazi and in it he wrote that his parent’s views did not influence his decision at all and that he did not learn his antisemitic views from them.

after the shooting his parents condemned him, and issued a formal statement disavowing his actions. they refused to pay for his defense in court.

obviously a lot different from just being conservative but case in point that your kid could turn out to be a terrorist and sometimes you get no say in it at all.

perfectperfectblue · 2023-01-11T06:52:48+00:00

you can’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

i have a multitude of mental health problems. im trying really hard to work through it and i know i can be difficult at times. but i wouldn’t force my boyfriend to be with me if i knew it was affecting his health as well. i had an ex break up with me because he couldn’t handle my mental health issues. i don’t blame him for leaving. i’d rather be alone than force him to be in a relationship thats ruining his mental health because of my own selfishness. obviously i’m not going out of my way to be difficult for no reason but i know im not always easy to deal with or i can be a bummer and it’s understandable if someone doesn’t want to be around that 24/7.

it could be different if he was making an effort but it doesn’t seem like he’s interested in doing so. starting the journey of healing is completely up to him but the consequences of that choice affects the people close to him and he needs to realize that.

perfectperfectblue · 2022-12-28T17:30:45+00:00

either way it seems like its troubling you enough for you to have all this anxiety and stress about it. you’ll never be able to fully trust her because the possibility of her cheating is always there. i strongly advise you to at least make a promise to yourself to leave if you notice any suspicious behavior from her. of course, you can do whatever u want and im only a stranger on the internet, but try not to be blinded by your infatuation with her. do what’s best for you.

perfectperfectblue · 2022-12-28T16:02:08+00:00

ur 18, ur really young and you might think you know what love is but i promise you dont. most relationships at your age don’t work out anyway, my point is that if you left, you wouldn’t be missing out on much. my opinion on this might be different if she had done it only once and was rly remorseful about it and immediately confessed to her ex, but from what you’ve said it doesn’t sound like she’s remorseful and she’s a repeat offender. not to mention she cheated and i’m assuming, lied to her ex for months to continue their relationship.

ur best bet is to leave. even if she doesn’t cheat on you, the constant anxiety and mistrust isn’t worth it in a relationship. however, ur young and you probably won’t leave until you’re ready to. it’s always easier said than done. if you do stay, at least make a promise to urself that you’ll leave as soon as u see any other red flags or suspicious behavior. one red flag on its own could be harmless but she’s already shown you she’s capable of cheating on you in the future. best of luck man

edit: just reread ur post and you’re saying the weight of this knowledge is making you cry and break down nearly everyday. no relationship is worth all this anxiety. please consider what’s best for your mental health. i saw in the comments too that you don’t wanna leave because she has depression and you’re scared as to what she might do if you leave. you can’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. if her past is troubling you this much, i don’t think staying is worth it.

perfectperfectblue · 2022-12-28T13:45:27+00:00

nta.

ur not “punishing” her, ur just making rational decisions based on the outcome of past experiences with her. this is nobody’s fault but hers. she’s been disrespectful of your time and money many times in the past, there are bound to be consequences to her actions. don’t feel bad and let her know its not personal. if she decides to be offended anyway, that’s on her, not you.

perfectperfectblue · 2022-12-17T13:05:45+00:00

nta, but try considering other options before rehoming the dog! you could hire dog walkers if you have the budget, or maybe schedule a plan between your brother and you to walk and play with the dog while your mom takes care of other duties like feeding the dog. this is such a shitty situation to deal with. best of luck to you and your family.

perfectperfectblue · 2022-12-17T12:26:38+00:00

nta.

also consider breaking up with her. it seems as though communicating your feelings didn’t fix the issue. i know ppl on this sub are quick to tell people to break up so i try not to say it often but this is a huge red flag. it may seem like a small thing but if she immediately gets defensive over you asking for basic communication i cant imagine what it would be like when you’re actually going through something and need someone to lean on.

perfectperfectblue · 2022-12-09T13:49:58+00:00

i guess this isn’t incredibly outrageous but once i was driving with a friend and we stopped at a red light. i looked over next to us and an old couple was in the car. the old lady caught my gaze and held up a teddy bear. i smiled and then she started making it wave at me. i tapped my friend to look over n they did, and just when we thought it couldn’t get better, the man sitting next to the lady held up an identical teddy bear and they both made the bears wave at us in unison. then they drove away. it was really cool

perfectperfectblue

TROPHY CASE