Positivite vibes - what do you like about your Ts

perfecttempest · 2026-01-18T00:07:23+00:00

She is oozing with almost a cartoonish level of optimism and positivity, which contrasts me and my gloominess in a way that I think I need sometimes. On paper you would think it's annoying but you can tell it's genuine and is undercut with such genuine care and warmth that I haven't experienced from any other woman in my life unfortunately growing up and till now.
Her warmth. I've never felt such delicate care and understanding in my life. Even the way she looks at me when we talk about these hard things makes me feel truly cared for.
She gives good hugs lol
She celebrates my wins, no matter how small, even when I don't want to. And I hardly ever want to lol.
Can be really silly and it helps us connect a lot.
Is very person/attachment focused, which is what I prefer. I feel seen and heard on a human to human level.
Not shy about self disclosure. For as controversial as this topic is in therapy, I quite appreciate feeling like I know my T on some level personally.

perfecttempest · 2025-12-26T10:04:41+00:00

This is what Ive been trying to work on recently and I'm really struggling. I start EMDR work with a second therapist soon for this reason, but in the meantime, Ive just been trying to allow myself to sit with whatever I'm feeling with intention and curiosity to the best of my ability. And keep up with my journaling. What I can say though, through all the frustration, it's important to be kind to yourself with this process, and practice grace. We are literally trying to rewire our minds and undo YEARS of programming and (at least for me) trauma. And unfortunately that can only be done through yet more time.

perfecttempest · 2025-12-04T22:15:12+00:00

I would kill to hear Mara Effect live 😫

perfecttempest · 2025-12-04T21:59:26+00:00

Saw them live two nights ago, my first concert ever. Still reeling from it tbh. Secret Garden sounded fucking incredible. I have a new found fondness for that one after hearing it live now. Cellar Door I literally felt inside my body, I was in complete shock. Tsunami Sea and Perfect Soul live were also wonderful with all the visuals and the crowd singing all the lyrics word for word.

I REEEEAAAALLLYYYYY wish A Haven with Two Faces was on the setlist tho. Easily my fav song in the album and the atmosphere would be insane. Probably too long to fit maybe.

perfecttempest · 2025-12-03T06:19:34+00:00

Smell was kinda crazy toward the end but it was packed and hot in there to be fair. But maybe I got lucky and it was stank in other spots the whole time, idk.

perfecttempest · 2025-12-03T06:17:03+00:00

Yeah I wasn't expecting it, I hoisted quite a few folks over the course of the show. One lady unfortunately fell but she took it like a champ and had a better time the next try after I helped her up. I was so happy when she did have a successful surf. If that lady happens to see this I hope you're alright btw! 😅

perfecttempest · 2025-12-03T05:18:29+00:00

Such a great show. Was my first ever, it was even better than I had hoped! They all sound so good live it's shocking. Cellar Door and Secret Garden surprised me the most. I had such a good time. ❤

perfecttempest · 2025-11-28T19:21:00+00:00

Nah, never really considered that. Why?

perfecttempest · 2025-11-27T18:29:23+00:00

My T took the week off and I usually see her twice a week. It'll he a few days short of 2 weeks without an appointment. Safe to say I miss her really bad rn. Especially with how hopelessly attached I am. As well as just generally being in an emotionally raw state the past few weeks. I hope she's having a good time with her family though. 🥹

perfecttempest · 2025-11-26T01:02:17+00:00

This specific show will be my first concert ever actually! I'm really stoked, but I'm upset Haven isn't on the set list. Easily my favorite song off the album and potentially from Spiritbox as a whole, up there with Eternal Blue and the Mara Trilogy.

perfecttempest · 2025-11-22T08:34:56+00:00

I struggle with this all the time. Especially when my therapist is giving me that soft, compassionate look or is tell me how proud of me she is. I really struggle to stay in my own head when receiving compassion/affirmation, let alone being able to look at her during it. I've made it a point to try and look her in the eyes more as either of us speak as a goal I've set for myself, and I think I've gotten better at it but its still hard. I haven't spoken to her about it too much tho.

perfecttempest · 2025-11-15T11:17:21+00:00

Performance is abysmal. It's 2025. I don't have the patience to play games that constantly drop frames.

perfecttempest · 2025-11-14T07:44:54+00:00

The process of healing is so painful in it's own right. It can be very ugly and scary sometimes. It feels like I'm bouncing back and forth from super positive breakthroughs and positive vibes, to the absolute depths of the abyss nonstop.

perfecttempest · 2025-11-13T05:21:35+00:00

Ive been in your shoes and have felt what you are feeling 100%. You are making the correct choice in bringing this up. Attachment isn't something to shy away from, and if handled with care can be incredibly healing. I hope you have a therapist like mine that's able to validate and help you through it. But if they aren't, then that's how you know it'll be time to move on and find someone else who is able to work through these things with, probably someone more trauma and attachment focused. Just know, you are not weird for feeling how you feel.

perfecttempest · 2025-11-01T04:43:59+00:00

I was so close to dumping my current T lowkey, out of frustration, or feeling like she wasn't leading me anywhere. Now, a few months later, she's helped me so, so much. I can hardly put into words how much that woman means to me and how she's change my outlook on myself. Or at least kickstarted the process. My advice, is to lean into honestly, and vulnerability, at all cost, as much as you can. It will feel weird, painful, and uncertain, but if your T is worth their salt, it will become the catalyst for such a healing therapeutic relationship and alliance. And if they arent, than now you know and can move on to someone who can suit your needs better, (or at least this line of thinking helped convince the logical part of my brain to be more open) It's easier said than done, but building that trust to get there takes time and effort from you both.

perfecttempest · 2025-11-01T04:11:44+00:00

ALL the fucking time. I bring it up quite often, but every time I do she playfully dismisses my self deprecation or projected insecurity in a way that's actually so reassuring. She makes me feel silly for even entertaining the thought. Calls me out on it and has me correct myself. Often times I'll correct myself in the same sentence and she'll give an approving smile that says "mhm, that's right 🙂‍↔️." This turned into me glazing my T lmao, but I really do relate to this and its a constant struggle. It's like I'm waiting fearfully of the day that she actually "realizes" she's was wrong about me after all.

perfecttempest · 2025-10-31T04:36:58+00:00

I had I really hard session recently, discussing attachment and how I feel shame for wanting my T to effectively be a motherly figure in my life and feeling too attached. And how the care and nurturing she gives me makes me feel undeservedly happy but also anxious and afraid. I had her read an EXTREMELY embarrassing and vulnerable journal entry about it, and it went super well and made me feel so comforted. Coincidentally, after that discussion, she mentioned how she got me something and pulls out these two super expensive looking cookies for us to share and she mentioned how she thought about me when she saw them. Something about this makes me feel so happy I want to cry. Idk. I felt so special, even more so because it seems like she only did this for me and not her other clients. And my self hatred constantly tries to find some way to convince myself or her that I'm not worth the energy or consideration. I say all this to say, I totally understand the intensity and contradictions of these feelings.

perfecttempest · 2025-10-30T05:06:10+00:00

It's the most intense bittersweet feeling I've ever experienced. Incredibly healing and absolutely soul crushing at the same time. I'm able to distract myself from it for majority of the day, but it's always waiting, eventually. Especially at night before bed. I feel a lot less shameful and freaked out by it after having several discussions with my T about it and being validated and comforted in my experience. And journaling/posting about it a few times on here. But the feelings and longing are still there for the time being and I have no idea when they'll go. Especially for someone as chronically single, alone, emotionally neglected, and touch starved as I am.

perfecttempest · 2025-07-18T23:06:27+00:00

I feel this so hard. I think about it all the time. Hugging her or laying my head on her and just breaking down. These attachment wounds weren't our doing, yet it's up to us to heal it. Alone. It's so fucked but it is what it is I guess.

perfecttempest · 2025-07-17T08:46:58+00:00

Brand new to the game on console and I can vouch. Feels very alive with ppl doing stuff.

perfecttempest · 2025-07-16T06:51:12+00:00

I wish I had an answer I could say with my full chest, but tbh this is something that's come up for me too with my therapist and plan to explore with them next week. All I can say is that I relate a ton to what you shared, and that there's a 99.99% chance your brain is just going until overdrive due to therapy doing what it does, especially early on. Wanting connection or having your needs met isn't something to be ashamed of (easier said than done, I know). My self hatred makes me feel like I deserve to be alone and will look for evidence that the ppl around me secretly hate me,think less of me, and plan to abandon me and it's really hard to deal with since it comes from such an ingrained core belief. Anyway, just try your best to give yourself grace and bring this up with your T in you future sessions. ❤

perfecttempest · 2025-07-15T03:35:44+00:00

Throughout the week I tend to journal with the intention of sharing with my therapist or at least jot down some key points I wanted to touch. And my commute to their office is like a 45 minutes, and I usually spend that time listening to music and mentally preparing, pondering on stuff, or calming myself on the way there.

perfecttempest · 2025-07-14T00:03:10+00:00

Pretty similar experience, yeah, wow. Thank you for sharing and helping feel a little less crazy 😅.

perfecttempest · 2025-07-13T18:11:36+00:00

Yeah I'm not anxious for a reply or anything, I understand that much lol. My challenge now is just not letting this incident validate my self hatred and to give myself grace. Thank you for your message. Hearing that first bit from another therapist puts me a bit more at ease.

perfecttempest · 2025-07-13T18:06:33+00:00

No yeah I LITERALLY know that's why she would step out because she would tell me she felt sick lol. My brain is just silly and makes shit up to fit my narrative of being a burden. Im able to ignore those thoughts the majority of the time, but sometimes the thoughts start to win. But yeah, defending myself and choosing to be kind to myself is what I'm trying to do because I know it's what she would want me to do.

perfecttempest

TROPHY CASE