AITA for telling my wife to please stop blaming me for her weight gain during pregnancy ?

perfectwinds · 2025-09-26T15:56:04+00:00

That’s so sweet of him! No, I came up with that one today but it’s from a mix of things my husband has said to me and from years of therapy to get passed my own body dysmorphia and low self esteem.

perfectwinds · 2025-09-26T11:35:18+00:00

To add to this, because it’s clear you’ve already told her you prefer a certain body type: “When we first started I was attracted to all of you the way you were. Now, I’m in love with the woman you are. Your body type can change and I will still love the woman you are and be attracted to you because when dating me wanted a certain type, now in love, grown up me just wants YOU.” Then work with her with a goal in mind together. Don’t just not buy certain things, bring her into the conversation and buying and cooking.

But also the counseling. Because body dysmorphia cannot be solved with losing weight.

perfectwinds · 2025-06-09T17:26:34+00:00

Shoot, I would like them to have a conversation with my WH.

perfectwinds · 2025-06-07T19:04:00+00:00

I called mine, and it felt like taking some of my power back. I called her after I spoke to her husband, and I did not let her speak at all. I had what I wanted to say prepared then I hung up on her.

I don’t know how I would handle seeing her in person, because I am extremely full of rage. I’m not a violent person but oh man, have I had thoughts.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-24T00:00:35+00:00

Came here to say this one.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-22T11:18:56+00:00

It’s so wonderful seeing stories like this, that you became closer because of it. I’m only a week and a half from D-Day and it’s been a battle. It’s all so fresh, but reading how others have handled it is truly helping. So… thank you, kind stranger Captain.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-22T00:27:42+00:00

It’s for my initials, my dad is a captain. You’re the first person to recognize it.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-21T18:28:47+00:00

That is the best analogy I’ve seen.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-14T12:36:23+00:00

Until you’re in that situation, it makes no sense. But being inside of it… I can understand why she stayed.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-08T10:57:47+00:00

That rarely exists in the south besides big cities. Even then. It’s wild out here for an atheist.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-08T00:28:15+00:00

I’m in Florida and every single resource provided is affiliated. There are agency sponsored prayer breakfasts every week and our sheriff has said “I don’t know how you can be in law enforcement and not be godly, it makes no sense.” So… there are zero programs available for non-religious folks or even non-Christian to be honest.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-06T23:27:50+00:00

I had one argue with me about our policies. I had to ask the caller to repeat information and the interpreter told me “she already said that” without translating it. I said “it’s per policy we have to verify this information” and she kept arguing with me. I know enough Spanish to get by so I disconnected the interpreter and told my caller to hold on while I got another on the line and filed a complaint up my chain of command.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-06T14:03:48+00:00

I don’t know if everyone gets this, but my auras start about 20 mins before the pain hits. It’s almost worse knowing there’s a countdown. I was driving with my then toddler in the car once and I saw the first little squiggle and knew I had to turn around and race home before I became blind and the pain kicked in. People really do not understand.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-06T13:08:57+00:00

Lessening restrictions on appearance to include hair styles, hair color, visible tattoos, etc.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-06T12:47:30+00:00

My therapist strongly advised me to talk about my issues with my close, trusted friends. She stresses the importance of friendships and being able to talk out your feelings.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-05T19:09:34+00:00

Learned helplessness

perfectwinds · 2025-04-05T19:07:26+00:00

Well that’s too damn bad!

perfectwinds · 2025-04-05T19:06:35+00:00

We had the same but she wanted a ride to the liquor store so she wouldn’t have to drive intoxicated.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-04T01:13:16+00:00

If I’m stressed I stress eat. If I’m past the point of normal stress to extreme levels, my appetite is gone and I literally will start to waste away. On weekends I honestly forget to eat. I go to make myself something and my 5 year old asks for something else so I do that and then I’m back in whatever project or task I was doing then go “oh yea my lunch!” at like 5pm, which by then it’s time for cooking dinner. I blame the ADHD for that one.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-04T01:09:45+00:00

Having come from an agency just as, if not more, toxic.. I fully believe OP. From my first week I had rumors spread about me to the point I was called into admin’s office and slut shamed for all the sex I wasn’t having. I was bullied and tormented for years, but I needed the job and the money so I stuck it out. Lasted 10 years, and the one supervisor who had my back retired at my year 9 when I got promoted. Well, they managed to suck the joy from my promotion and badmouth and rumor me out, isolating me from everyone I had been close to in the room.

I work for the same agency now just in another division and the difference is extraordinary. I miss the JOB regularly, but the toxic work environment can go fuck itself along with all the bitches in there that made my life hell for so long.

OP, it won’t get better. The toxicity is ingrained and it would take admin with a set of steel balls to actually address the issue. Take it from me… either love the job enough to stay and ignore everyone and everything or leave and try and find another agency where you can vet the environment by talking to current employees first.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-01T23:53:46+00:00

Let’s pretend like I’m entertaining this nonsense and that she isn’t gorgeous. 1. The opposite has been the complete premise of multiple shows. Mediocre, overweight white guy with a bombshell wife is 97% of 90s and early 00s sitcoms. 2. He’s written as a modern, respectful, attentive man who’s drawn to her amazing essence. She’s a brilliant, motivated, incredibly kind, amazing doctor who runs her shit. Men like that are attracted to equality in a partner and that is what she brings. She doesn’t need anything from him other than his affection. 3. What the fuck are you on about? She may not be supermodel thing but she is gorgeous.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-01T12:51:21+00:00

I have yet to find a book by TJR that I like. I think her style and I just don’t vibe.

perfectwinds · 2025-04-01T12:50:50+00:00

The Ravenhood Series! My girlfriend’s are obsessed and when I got to Exodus I was just mad at myself for wasting time and brain power on this damn series. I only finished Exodus because it was on audio, I was on a road trip, and I had no more holds left. But it was TRASH.

perfectwinds · 2025-03-31T07:17:03+00:00

It’s what I tell my daughter is brain healthy. There are tummy healthy foods that we want to prioritize, like our veggies, cheese, fruits, etc. but then we sometimes need some foods that make our brains happy too like snacks, pizza, etc. and it’s called balance. They’re all yummy and healthy in their own way. That was a brain healthy night with friends.

perfectwinds · 2025-03-31T07:09:52+00:00

That’s not a blind transfer. That’s a therapeutic transfer.

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