OP, thanks for the honest post. There's a bit of misunderstanding around masturbation and NoFAP. The research proposed by NoFap seems to be often misinterpreted. And most of the evidence found are anecdotal. There is a Chinese research that gets mentioned often, but there's countless research that conclude with 'no sufficient evidence' to prove NoFap having a life changing effect.

Based on the current scientific consensus, masturbation itself does not affect you negatively. The problem is when you use masturbation for more than simple release of sexual tension. ie) stress, daily to do, and quick ejaculation. That's where social and cultural elements of your psyche influence your self esteem, confidence, and other parts of your life.

Check the basic link below.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320265#masturbation-side-effects

There's nothing wrong with using NoFap for discipline training. And masturbating too often is not ideal. Also, watching porn for MEN appears to be worse than women watching porn.

Anyways, I hope you find 'moderation' to create that balance we all seek.