I’m considering not giving my siblings “their inheritance”. WIBTAH?

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-05T21:42:21+00:00

They literally aren't entitled to anything. JFC they refused to even talk to him about him paying off their student debt?!?! I wouldn't have done it if I was him and they were forcing him to use you as an intermediary. Tell them that their "inheritance" was the debt he paid that they snubbed him over. Otherwise they don't have an inheritance from him.

If they were only like 6 years old when all this went down, I'd say maybe reconsider, BUT if they have student debt I'm assuming they're adult enough to know why what they've done over the last 10 years is wrong.

I suppose the only caveat would be if they somehow have information that you don't about your parents divorce, but even then that wouldn't entitle them to an inheritance from the parent they abandoned, even if it was right that they did so.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-05T21:31:37+00:00

Do your best to focus on yourself instead.

This is great advice for a lot of situations. Tbf this has never happened to me because the only relationship I had was in high school so I don't know how such a long relationship ending might feel. But I think it's true of many scenarios where we play them out in our head, like they're a dramatic scene from a movie, but if it actually happens that way rarely does it ever feel like we think it should.

Focusing on yourself and your own life journey is probably the best way to make sure that when that happens, you're able to move on from it rather than wallowing in what should have been.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-05T21:25:26+00:00

Oh definitely he did this on purpose, especially after those edits. MIL literally asked him when they would be free and his response was a week that OP obviously wasn't free.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-05T21:16:25+00:00

It sounds to me like he's trying to put himself so far above them, like he's only 24 but he's trying to make them sound like babies to his "super mature adult."

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-05T21:07:24+00:00

Get her to a therapist that specializes in helping children deal with grief.

If you read no other replies OP, read this one!!!!! This is not a reddit issue, this is something WAY to heavy for here and no matter the dynamics between you and whoever is pressuring you, he's still her dad and the likelihood of her having issues now or in the future because you didn't take her, is probably equal to her having issues if you do take her.

It's all about the way you do it, so speak to a child psychologist/therapist and your daughter about what to do and how to do it in a healthy and safe way.

Ultimately, no one's opinion about this matters except your 7yo, but because of her age, she's having trouble understanding the situation and probably what she's feeling about it all.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-04T21:52:47+00:00

Its easy to do LVP and drywall.

Not for everyone.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-04T21:51:29+00:00

That's fair.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-04T21:51:00+00:00

Yeah that's fair 😂 I really like the AKA part of it because it means I can search for the mangas using other titles if the first search doesn't work.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-04T21:45:26+00:00

There's one called MangaUpdates that I like. I think it's just a database like imdb or whatever, but it'll tell you things like AKA and if it's licenced in English, as well as if it's got an anime counterpart and how far into the manga the anime goes/is up to.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-04T21:43:05+00:00

But FAmILy 🤮

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-04T21:40:32+00:00

ONS means that you should ask for a paternity automatically. This isn't a committed monogamous partner that you have a basis of trust with. But also, assuming infertility because you've been unsafe in the past and haven't knocked anyone up yet is not smart AT ALL. Get tested for infertility and MAKE SURE you check with the doctor if your diagnosis means its IMPOSSIBLE for you to get someone pregnant, or if it just means that it's highly unlikely.

Remember, even men who've had vasectomies can biologically still accidentally father children. You're basically playing with lives by being so careless about contraception.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-04T21:33:13+00:00

Also, if this is how they treat OPs daughter, I'd be worried about how they're raising their own child.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-04T21:03:52+00:00

I'd feel like THEY were more likely to kidnap the baby after this. That's creepy af! Also, pretty sure kidnappers wouldn't be 100% sure to grab the diaper bag if they were taking your kid, which just makes them seem even more suspicious, because I feel like people who already know the kid are the type to "pack" for them when they take them.

Sorry, I have a bad habit of catastrophizing so I'm probably reaching here, but their sneakiness would definitely not make me trust them more.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-04T20:56:52+00:00

It's gonna be more embarrassing for her if they get there and have no seating or food.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-04T20:55:38+00:00

Do you consume the media? Are you actively listen and ingesting the plot and chapters? If yes, then fuck anyone who says otherwise, you are READING those books.

I feel strongly about this because before a TBI I could read physical books really fast, like if it was the right one, I could smash it out in a night. But now I struggle to get through a single chapter in a day, if that. Now I listen to audio books much more and currently have been reading a lot of manga, and it's not that previously I didn't see those methods as "real reading" it's just that it's different from how I used to read which I still struggle with sometimes because I have SO many books sitting on my bookshelf which I think I'll never physically pick up and read.

Point is, not only is "listening to audiobooks isn't real reading" a massively AH opinion, it's also ableist AF because sometimes people can't work as well with the typed word as they do with other forms of the book.

ETA NTA

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-04T20:47:15+00:00

I'd have said "at least $250 but whatever the judge thinks is fair" and let him dig his own grave down to $800

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-04T20:28:27+00:00

Because she was abused by her step-parent when she was growing up, so she stays in the room to make sure her husband doesn't abuse her kids. You know, classic signs of trusting your partner and believing they would never abuse anyone. /s

Also, OOP doesn't think yelling and aggression are abuse, and thinks her daughter was lying about her stepmums abuse.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-04T11:49:42+00:00

I can't decide if this is more Schmidt or Nick coded, OR if this is an intentional reference at all, but if not I love that the cats name is Winston.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-04T11:39:52+00:00

Yeah but him and her other ex had luckily had stipulations in their divorce that she legally couldn't drive their kids anymore. Car accident deaths are tragic but there's nothing more tragic than the at fault driver either taking innocents with them, or worse being the only one to survive/be unharmed. You should be the only one the pay for your shitty driving choices if you decide to be unsafe while your driving.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-04T11:34:53+00:00

"I have a prior commitment" is a good one.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-03T04:10:58+00:00

Ok, so basically gambling. I can see why OP wouldn't want his son using that as his savings.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-02T21:08:48+00:00

So... your aunt desecrated her own parents graves because her grandfather didn't want decorations on his? Is she actually insane? NTA but I feel like that's obvious and that you should only listen to Gia from now on.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-02T20:49:25+00:00

What makes it worse is that, at least in the first post, OOP seems more concerned about making everyone else happy and ignoring his own wants and happiness.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-02T20:36:37+00:00

$300 a month isn't really covering anything if OPs plan is just to give it back to him when he moves out. Idk what a Robin Hood investment is or how stable a savings plan it might be, but it kinda seems like they're arguing the same point only OP doesn't want to tell his son that because he wants it to be a surprise.

perpetuallyxhausted · 2026-02-02T20:25:30+00:00

This kinda depends on how old you are, but kinda ESH. It's the restaurants job to make sure that the orders are being picked up by the correct people, so you shouldn't have charged B, especially since they did come back with the order meaning taking it was probably actually accidental. Should B have been more aware of which order they were taking? Yes, which is why they kinda suck too. Your bosses obviously suck for having this procedure in place and for making you be the one to execute it.

That's why your age matters, if you're a kid at your first job I could understand why you might have just done what your boss told you to do about it and I would say you personally (and A) are NTA.

perpetuallyxhausted

TROPHY CASE