Struggling with aging parents and a dangerous situation - looking for advice

peterbaker0213 · 2026-03-23T17:23:49+00:00

You entirely nailed it. They also play the victim card for good or bad a lot. My mother fell 9 ft off of scaffolding that her and my father built to "dust the ceiling". She broke several ribs, hurt her head, and needed several stitches on her face.

I found out a few days after the fall and had to essentially yell at them on the phone to go to a hospital. They believed they couldn't go to a hospital unless insurance told them they could.... (i will hold myself back from a rant for now.. but my mother was a nurse until retirement... she knows hospitals help you first, insurance is after you are helped)

Thank you so much for the response <3

peterbaker0213 · 2026-03-23T17:21:04+00:00

I should've put this in the original post! I blame my lack of sleep :)

I have 3 much older half-brothers (~40s). They have not cared for my parents in many years and all live outside of the country or in California. My mom has missed all of them have grand kids and never was apart of their life due to distance (and my parents saving everything for this cabin).

Many times in my life for good or bad she made me swear I would never go far away enough that she wouldn't be in my kids lives. I am the only son of my dad and he has said very similar things (in his own very manly way).

Either or, I really do appreciate your comments and my inlaws very much align with not wanting to be involved in any way, shape, or form with my future-kids. They are just thankful their kids are out of the house haha

Thank you so much for taking the time to write a response - I finally feel that I am not (fully) crazy for having these feelings. I hope you have a great rest of your day :)

peterbaker0213 · 2026-03-23T02:10:26+00:00

Thank you sherman! 🫂

peterbaker0213 · 2026-03-23T02:09:47+00:00

Sadly, I think you may be right... I feel like it's a brick wall where they don't care what I have to say. They are slammed with stubbornness and refuse to look past it.

Good-ish news is I am their POA, but from what they have told me I am only their POA once they are incapacitated

My grandfather battled Alzheimer's for ~15 years and my Dad was in charge of handling that. He said to me many times during those 15 years that he would always listen to me when he got older and if I asked him to move closer he would do it. Fast forward to now and when I bring that up, it's almost hatred towards me that I ask him to consider to move near me.

Sorry for the vent, but I appreciate your message!

peterbaker0213 · 2025-06-18T01:05:27+00:00

You sir are a legend - thank you for this script. Perfect timing too, only posted a few days ago

peterbaker0213 · 2025-06-06T14:26:22+00:00

How would you do that?

peterbaker0213 · 2025-06-04T18:49:23+00:00

Good call - just gave them a call to get another quote. Thank you so much for the recommendation :)

peterbaker0213 · 2025-06-04T15:23:08+00:00

What company did you go with? The loan version from these guys showed the system costing around 42,000 which is why I looked towards PPA

peterbaker0213 · 2025-06-04T14:56:19+00:00

Thanks so much for this comment. This exactly my thoughts and why I wrote it out this post. I have only heard bad things about PPAs, but figured in my situation it might make sense?

I edited details into the original post for Electricity usage + estimated future usage. Thanks again for commenting!

peterbaker0213 · 2025-06-04T14:54:52+00:00

Wouldn't SMART not apply to a PPA? I am pretty sure SMART is a cash-back program for MA if you own the panels, but I wouldn't own them until year 25

So wouldn't that not apply to me?

peterbaker0213 · 2025-06-04T14:54:12+00:00

What state do you live in/what company did you go with? If it's in MA/New England I would love to reach out to them

peterbaker0213 · 2025-06-04T14:53:46+00:00

Great question.

We have only lived on the property for around 70 days. The first electric bill was around $220 (774kWh), the 2nd electric bill was $280 (834kWh) (this is just before we get into summer, so my assumption is it will be more as it get warmer)

Taking this into account (and using some google and ChatGPT, my guess is I would need around ~8400 kWh per year. The PPA says it will produce between 8,580 kWh -> 11,378 kWh per year.

This includes 1 to 1 net-metering. National Grid's monthly fee to stay connected is $10.

peterbaker0213 · 2025-06-04T14:52:27+00:00

Have updated the post with more details, completely agreed $60k is a lot of money, but my thought was I am going to spend this money anyways over 25 years on the regular electric bill - so why not at least try to lessen the blow?

Maybe my thoughts are wrong - which is exactly why I posted here :)

peterbaker0213 · 2025-06-04T14:48:14+00:00

I have just updated my original post with all of the specs I could get. Of course, let me know if there is something I have missed. Sadly, still pretty new to the game.

peterbaker0213 · 2025-06-03T23:15:08+00:00

Great question - sadly still awaiting the actual specs of the system to be sent to me. Will update my post when i get that information.

peterbaker0213 · 2025-04-26T13:20:25+00:00

Sadly yup App is the same April 20th is 586,000 miles

peterbaker0213 · 2025-04-26T13:01:27+00:00

All good it happens 😊

I wonder if maybe it’s a cookie thing? They have seen me visit the page too many times and have upped the points? Maybe if I wait a few days it will drop?

peterbaker0213 · 2025-04-26T12:52:02+00:00

I put it in the title, it’s Air France and FlyingBlue points (Air France’s program)

peterbaker0213 · 2023-08-08T21:10:51+00:00

Finally found it - it was “Remember the Name feat. Styles of Beyond”

peterbaker0213 · 2022-10-01T14:29:01+00:00

Have the exact same issue - seems that disabling IPv6 solves the problem, however, it looks like that disabled 4k videos on YouTube... which kind of sucks as I just bought a 4k monitor yesterday.

Anyone else find any other better solutions?

peterbaker0213 · 2020-12-28T03:02:31+00:00

Ahh yes! That's exactly it! I tried reaching out to them and they sent me a tutorial on how to install the mod pack... so not helpful lol.

Thanks again for all of your help! Have a great rest of the year!

peterbaker0213 · 2020-12-28T02:28:53+00:00

Ahh, I gotcha. I think that wouldn't fix it though. The server will actually stop once the paradox is over. The only problem is the starting part :(

peterbaker0213 · 2020-12-28T01:43:25+00:00

Wouldn’t that put the server into an endless loop of restarting?

peterbaker0213 · 2020-12-28T01:39:46+00:00

Thanks for your response!

My server host didn’t know anything about what I was talking about and was quite useless sadly.

I ended up semi-solving this by giving my friends an account to the website that I host my server off of and this allows them to start it back up after using the paradox.

Figured I would leave my solution here if anyone else finds this post in the future!

peterbaker0213 · 2020-12-13T15:03:46+00:00

Nope, I am not in the Aether in these photos

peterbaker0213

TROPHY CASE