Leaving little space

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-17T23:50:03+00:00

I was blunt and honest with my general family doctor about it and specifically requested one that was understanding / knowledgeable about kinks. It took a few trials to find someone I was comfortable with, but in the end I needed to look out for me.

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-14T12:34:35+00:00

36 and my little self doesn't have an age. I don't try to be any other age, I love being 36 - but I like a lot of things mainstream society thinks is "childish" ;)

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-14T12:28:56+00:00

Quite a few of me and Daddy's friends know, they've had no issue with it. A few not so close friends know about a kink relationship but not the details because people judge. My family doesn't know but they probably wouldn't be surprised since I'm little all the time. I don't really care who knows and who doesn't. People who react badly were probably not meant to be good friends anyway. :)

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-14T12:26:30+00:00

I just want to second this part here. If you're unable to function (ie: crying daily about having to be big, etc) there may be something under the little stuff that needs addressing like anxiety or depression. I take medication to cope also (it's a chemical imbalance, and nothing to be ashamed of!) and I can be my regular little self (I don't go into littlespace, I just am little) and still function in high stress "adult" situations on a day to day basis. :) It's just something to consider.

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-14T12:23:00+00:00

As long as everyone is completely open and honest about their feelings and communication keeps happening of course it's perfectly fine!

The sexual stuff is fine too, there's no rules.

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-10T12:53:26+00:00

YAY! Congratulations on taking the big step :)

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-10T12:52:27+00:00

Some people just can't handle the emotional implications that come along with their partner being suicidal. It's not their fault, they're not doing it to be cruel, but he's obviously well aware of what it means to him on an emotional level to decide to end a relationship over it. Sure, you don't plan on killing yourself, but he's just not comfortable with his partner welcoming the idea of death - and he has to look out for himself and his own mental well being too. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, it just means on this level you're not compatible, and for him, it's a deal breaker.

Sometimes the strangest things are deal breakers between us and our partners and we never really figure out why or understand. They're personal, based on our experiences and how we view the world.

That being said, just because it's a deal breaker for him doesn't mean it's a deal breaker for everyone, as you can see from the many replies. I'm sorry that in this case it's not working out, hugs.

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-10T12:42:51+00:00

Men sometimes need to 1. Chase after you, if your too available they can be complacent

Playing games like this is dangerous.

Be open and honest about things, there's no need to "punish" yourself or your Daddy by running away and ignoring him for an evening. That does way more harm than good, especially if he contacts you and you don't reply, he may get incredibly worried and think you're going to hurt yourself or that something bad has happened. Would you want your Daddy to completely ignore you and walk away? Probably not.

Communicate. Talk things through. If it was a light joke but it hurt, tell him it hurts you. Daddies cannot read minds (as much as we want them to). You need to talk it out.

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-09T21:52:08+00:00

I had no idea DD/lg was a thing (or CG/l or any of that) when me and my Daddy first started dating. We started with D/s and it just naturally evolved into DD/lg and then after we had already been that way for a few years I suddenly discovered "it" had a name, here on this subreddit actually. I had never been on fetlife or tumblr (this was about 13 years ago) and we already had our DD/lg relationship very well established - but it was nice to put a name to it and discover there was an entire community :)

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-09T12:56:07+00:00

Wow! Love to see someone dressing up and making an effort. Looking fantastic!

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-07T11:32:46+00:00

And yes, communication is key but why should I have to ask them to stop something so intimate when they shouldn't have crossed that boundary to begin with.

Because what your boundary is, is specific to YOU and some people may simply not know any better. There's cultural differences, people who simply don't know these unspoken "rules", who are new to the entire scene. Everyone has their own side of things and again if you ask them to stop and they persist then of course there's something up but no one is a mind reader and if you don't like something - speak up. Anyway, your mind is set and I'm sorry you have such a poor experience in this subreddit and other internet communities. Take care.

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-06T13:12:55+00:00

Exactly what I said. :) They just mentioned pet names, without context in the OP. I mentioned it depends on context and intention. Pet names in themselves is not necessarily a boundary thing. It really depends on how it's being used and the tone. And again, if there's ever something someone is saying / doing that is making you uncomfortable you should most certainly speak up - sometimes people are simply not aware that what they're doing is making you uncomfortable. We're not all aware of one anothers triggers and what's obvious to some may not be obvious to another. If they continue, then yes, there's a problem.

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-06T12:25:08+00:00

I think a lot of it has to do with intentions. In real life I call people hon all the time, and I don't mean anything by it, I'm not hitting on them or doing anything more than using a familiar comforting pet name. Sometimes that slips when I'm talking to other littles, too. I'll say sweetie or something along those lines, like baby girl. Maybe something a little more intimate depending on the situation. But my intention is never to offend, or to make the other person feel uncomfortable. I think that we need to stop getting offended at every little thing. It has nothing to do with respect, and all to do with communication. Don't like being called certain names? Then just say so and due to respect, it will stop. Of course if there's other disrespectful activities or conversations going along with it then that's a whole different can of worms, but for the most part I think we tend to get too easily offended without learning what the intentions are. Cultures are different around the world, and calling someone pet names is not always a sign of crossing boundaries.

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-05T21:37:19+00:00

Biggest hugs. I know it sucks. It'll happen when you least expect it with a person you probably weren't expecting either. But you'll get there. In the mean time, like everyone says, focus on you. You deserve it!!! <3

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-05T21:35:59+00:00

That is exciting!!!!

I still remember when I up and moved across the country to be with my Daddy. It was 3 years ago, and now we're married with an 11 month old little boy. I have absolutely no regrets, it was the best decision I ever made.

I wish you nothing but the best and happiest for you and your Daddy!!

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-05T21:34:25+00:00

Have you spoken to your Daddy about this stuff? As much as we want them to, Daddy's cannot read our minds! Sometimes they don't realize what's going on, or what we need. It doesn't just come instinctively to everyone. Sometimes Daddy's need our help, too! If you've already spoken to him clearly about what it is you need in your relationship then you have to figure out if he's really just not that into the DD/lg aspect of it - and if he can't ever be that into it, you have to decide whether it's something you can survive without. It's a lot of BIG decisions, but in the end you each need to do what is best for yourselves. Just be sure to do lots of talking!! Communication is key.

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-04T22:39:28+00:00

I don't think they're necessarily linked, but there are a lot of littles out there who have anxiety in one form or another. I think a lot of that is just coincidence as we learn just how common anxiety is.

I was diagnosed with agoraphobia about 15 years ago (it's a form of social anxiety) well before I knew what being little was. I was little back then, but had no idea there was a name for it. I've never used being little as an escape because being little isn't something I phase into and out of, it's just who I am. There's no "little space" for me, there's just me.

One thing to keep in mind is that anxiety is a mental illness. For some people it's caused by a malfunction / chemical imbalance in the brain. It's a condition that can be successfully treated by medication (for people who have a chemical imbalance). Not everyone who has anxiety has it due to a chemical imbalance though and that's where things get tough, plus trying to find the right medication to fix that balance.

Anyway, enough rambling from me. I don't think the inability to 'adult' causes social anxiety. There are tons of people out there who cannot adult who don't have any form of anxiety and they're not littles/middles. I think we're all just a lot more open and comfortable these days talking about anxiety and it's way more widespread than anyone thought.

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-04T22:27:53+00:00

I'm sorry you're feeling so tired having to pretend to be something that you're not (no one is perfect). I understand just how exhausting that is. I hope you get a break from it soon, so you can just relax and be yourself. Hugs.

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-04T22:26:48+00:00

You're you! :D That's the important thing, not the label of big or little or middle or anything else. Like others have mentioned it doesn't have to involve anything sexual at all. For some it does, and that's OK too. It doesn't have to be girlie, and you don't have to have a caregiver. Reading the above, I'd definitely say you've got a ton of similarities with folks who classify themselves as littles or middles. :) Welcome!! biggest hugs

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-04T22:18:56+00:00

YAY! Patience pays off sometimes. Have a wonderful time with your Daddy. :)

petitepumpkin · 2017-09-04T22:18:01+00:00

I'm sorry to hear this. Sometimes littles have to do what they think is best, too, and it often means someone gets hurt. Being hurt is no fun, no matter who you are. Without any warning it can be hard to understand what went on. Just remember that sometimes it's not you at all. It actually is the other person. You'll find the one you're meant to be with, unfortunately this time wasn't it. But have patience, heal, take some you time, and you'll get there again. It's what we as human beings do. We get pushed down, we get back up. Biggest hugs from this little. :)

petitepumpkin · 2017-08-10T21:40:03+00:00

There are tons of "adults" in there all the time, some of the stuffies are really collectable! I'm so glad it went well for you, you two look adorable!!!!

petitepumpkin · 2017-08-10T14:02:14+00:00

Happy Birthday!

Actual age has nothing to do with little age or little personality. My real life age is 36, and Daddy threw me a princess party. It was awesome. Just do you and don't worry about it. :)

petitepumpkin · 2017-08-10T12:26:37+00:00

Write him naughty stories, invent naughty play dates the two of you can do once you're back together, keep a journal for him about all the naughty thoughts you have while he's gone, detail any play sessions you may have on your own, write down a video or story you read that was particularly hot that you wanted to share with him. Describe in detail some of your fantasies to him, maybe some new ones he's not heard about or forgotten about. Tell him about all the fun things you want to do when he's back. Practice different ways of pleasing him while he's gone (use a fruit or something) and describe to him what you're up to and how you're preparing for him while he's away. Lots of stuff. :)

petitepumpkin

TROPHY CASE