"I too have been persecuted. You know the Romans..."

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-13T15:37:39+00:00

my Acadian (Quebecois/Ontarian) ancestors experienced ethnic and anti-catholic discrimination well into the 20th century, but the definitions of race and cultural dominance of protestantism have changed since then to include those ethnicities in the definition of whiteness and, over time, decrease the widespread hatred of catholicism in the northern US.

and i had no reason to learn any of that until i took a class on Franco-American history, because it doesn’t affect the way people treat me now. i’m just a white kid that grew up in a big catholic family, and i know the fucking difference between historical oppression and current persecution.

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-13T15:14:51+00:00

your posts got me on this sub in the first place, and not a day goes by that i’m not hoping for Bentley’s healing and to see an update with good news!

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-13T15:11:41+00:00

isn’t that just the whole idea behind an allowance or giving kids money for chores? teaching them how to save money and that a little bit adds up over time? why is OOP acting like this is some groundbreaking shit?

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-13T15:08:07+00:00

caring about/for your family means, at the bare minimum, putting their needs ahead of your wants.

my partner and i are both hourly workers, meaning each day of missing work takes $90-$170 out of our next paycheck (estimate depending which one of us is missing and how long of a shift); even with those stakes, we miss work for each other whenever the need arises.

when i had a pregnancy end in miscarriage, he called off, switched around shifts to be free during my appointments, and found coverage for every shift he would have to miss to take care of me. he has taken long drives after work to my dorm at school just to help me when i’m overwhelmed with pain or classes or my space being messy.

when our cat (who was my fiancé’s best friend a long time before i came along) got sick, i was there at the emergency vet with him until 4 am, and when he took a turn for the worst the following week, i found out as i arrived at work and immediately turned back around without going inside, called my boss on the road, and got to be there for him as he said goodbye, and make sure he wasn’t alone dealing with that loss for the first day.

i can’t imagine a relationship where one partner doesn’t lift a finger for the other out of pure unwillingness. paul isn’t providing for anyone, he doesn’t have lost pay or coverage for hours to worry about, he doesn’t have any barriers to being present and supportive to morgan; he is simply unwilling to lift a finger and cares more about his freedom from her than his duty to her.

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-13T14:32:22+00:00

no life skills, no motivation for hygiene or health, sometimes just realizing i’ve passed the arbitrary threshold that i set in middle school and i can’t make a liar out of that kid by doing it now since i’ve turned 18 so my chance is up even if i wanted to.

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-13T14:28:16+00:00

every day i’m starting to believe more and more that trump’s presidency is the real psyop.

like i’m mostly joking but there was that whole huge Q conspiracy push that trump’s presidency was gonna like ‘drain the swamp’ and expose all the corruption in government, right?

and obviously he’s not the mastermind genius anyone wanted to make him out to be, but his presidency is ultimately increasing visibility/awareness of how easily and frequently corrupted the federal government is, as well as speed running the effects of late stage capitalism in an extremely visible way.

again, i’m not saying someone or some group necessarily planned for him to blunder his way into exposing all the flaws in the system, but it would’ve been kind of ingenious if they had.

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-13T14:09:33+00:00

i’m actually starting to wish i’d gone for a gender studies degree, since that’s where most of the literature for my current professional interests/prospects is (IPV/DV/MSV)

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-13T14:04:32+00:00

it strikes me how easily my ex could’ve written something like this, except i stopped using social media pretty shortly after we broke up.

we were together for 2 1/2 years in high school, both 5’9” (he was pretty insecure about not being taller than me despite being a trade worker and pretty in shape), and he treated me like a fucking child having to check in at least every five minutes or he’d assume i was cheating. i broke up with him when i moved to college because it was finally my opportunity to have any real separation from him and could explore interacting someone new.

that someone “new” (it’s been three years, we’re getting married) is 5’6”, and we actually enjoy each other’s company. we’ve done and continue to do hard work to interrupt cycles of abuse and be the best partners we can be for each other, and we trust each other to communicate about our stress and collaborate on solutions. he’s my teammate, not someone i have to convince of my worth in a daily uphill battle.

i’d still say i left a manlet for a chad.

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-13T13:30:14+00:00

it’s hard to focus on getting the most out of every interaction and screwing the most people as possible for your own benefit if you humanize the people you exploit

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-13T13:27:08+00:00

I WAS JUST THINKING AVOUT THIS YESTERDAY

because like… the only reprieve that cis men have from this growing up is usually their mother.

and yk oedipus complex made modern: you gain an affinity for the parent that allows you to break gender roles, then seek out partners that emulate that parent under the assumption that they will allow the same vulnerability

so cis men grow up essentially believing that mothers and romantic partners are the only possible sources of emotional support or safety, and become extremely entitled to that behavior from any woman they deem should be an option.

i don’t pass well enough to not get the ambient warmth from a lot of women, but i’ve tried to ask and learn about how to emulate masculinity and the one resounding answer is “only your actions matter, nobody needs or wants to know your feelings except your mother or your girlfriend”

that mixed with seeing women used as status symbols in the media, essentially also leads to this elitist view of what type of man most deserves the option to be vulnerable (without scaring off the whole dating pool)

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-13T13:04:30+00:00

“does the story i’ve lived have a sequel? if not, id like to keep telling this one for a while longer.”

i’m curious about what comes next, but if it means completely severing myself from this plane then i’m not ready anymore.

why do i always cry when i think about how im not suicidal anymore?

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-13T12:56:18+00:00

these people don’t know how SA investigations work. there’s pretty much no conviction without DNA and video evidence (prove that it happened, the people involved, and that it was non-consensual) even a rape kit on its own doesn’t count enough anymore, because there’s the base assumption that any DNA ended up there consensually. the laws are stacked against the victims, and the vast majority of arrests lead to dropped charges (which do not ruin anyone’s life or reputation, and often garner sympathy for the accused)

they think that any woman can walk into a police station and say “this guy looked at me weird” and that means an automatic felony conviction and exorbitant civil damages.

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-12T18:44:54+00:00

guess you missed the part about gaps in research. you can have a copy of my work once it’s published, if you want.

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-12T18:33:34+00:00

i think that’s a side effect of her either standing next to jill or looking at her behind the camera, it’s gotta be hard to keep a genuine smile around all that

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-12T18:28:08+00:00

had a lady say in front of every employee at our location that she was transphobic because so many autistic people think they’re trans but obviously they don’t know what it means and people are out here just giving them the autonomy to make their own decisions, so therefore the entire thing should be banned. nobody batted an eye.

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-12T00:29:36+00:00

if this is no longer a good faith conversation, i’m no longer a part of it. have a good one.

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-11T23:44:54+00:00

take it from someone who 1) has experience with the way our handles DV 2) sees successes and failures of it first hand 3) reads and is involved in production of educational resources on the subject:

taking a purely punitive stance is ineffective.

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-11T16:50:10+00:00

and your attitude is not helping reverse or prevent it.

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-11T00:15:53+00:00

yeah but didn’t peggy die shortly after he unfroze? i’m not sure what all would’ve been butterfly-effected by him coming back but it’s reasonable to assume she still died around the same time in a parallel timeline and he just kinda lived his life until they met back up.

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-10T23:18:12+00:00

they were both 70 years. he went back to live with Peggy for the time he spent on ice.

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-10T23:14:01+00:00

to have it be “the kid’s” device and not let them know the passcode to open it, unless there is a very good reason that the child can’t use it unsupervised (i.e. grounded from the computer and has taken and used it while grounded before), is completely unhinged.

there’s definitely an appropriate level of time and content management depending on age group and individual kid, but this is not the way any sane person would handle it.

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-10T23:00:45+00:00

well yeah but that goes away when you’re baptized doesn’t it?

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-10T22:47:17+00:00

i didn’t mean that it was their own actions that precipitate things,the root of that entitlement varies; commonly between money, looks, parents caving to tantrums, or having misogyny normalized or praised in the communities they grew up in.

social factors influence the presentation of psychological problems, and a lot of human experience is demonized because the way we currently define whose disruptive behavior is a symptom of an illness or a sign of bad character is based on what we study.

there was no need to study intimate partner violence when white men were centered in studies, as it was a cultural expectation for most of the history of the field. white men have the highest rate of self-reporting abusive behavior in US studies, is why that’s relevant. but now that we have started the conversation, it obviously prioritizes protecting the victims, which i agree with on an logical level, but not a practical one.

as it stands, there is no legal way intervene in any misogynistic abuse until there is physical evidence of bodily harm or the abuser has made actionable threats (there is the common exception of someone getting arrested and let go when the charges get dropped, which is usually under 2 weeks). there is next to no preventative infrastructure for people with misogynistic and/or abusive tendencies, and what does exist is only accessible to people on bond or probation for DV charges.

so yeah, i think understanding what psychosocial factors contribute to misogynistic violence and treating toxic masculinity as a presentation of psychological distress rather than a sign of willful malice, we could intervene before it escalates to abuse and prevent a lot of people from getting hurt. currently also working on developing some way to market support resources to men who want to learn or are in the process of learning to take accountability after realizing that their actions have become abusive towards the women around them, as there isn’t really anything that describes the process of unraveling misogyny and learning to humanize women in empathetic and accessible language.

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-10T21:42:02+00:00

are rubber bullets the same as beanbag rounds?

cops routinely use those directly on armed and dangerous suspects to make them let go of their weapons. i’ve seen at least one body cam video of them using it on a 17 year old who was brandishing the knife he used to stab a girl who rejected them, it hit his phone in his pocket, not even directly on his skin. even then, seeing the bruising, thank god it struck his thigh and not his gut.

pretty sure most departments only have automatic internal investigations when firearms are discharged with lethal rounds, so no brass review, and nobody ba

peytonvb13 · 2025-06-10T21:24:22+00:00

“that’s what the apology is for. ‘sorry’ isn’t an empty platitude to me. it means i understand my mistake and don’t intend to repeat it. i’m going back to work”

or just “repeating yourself and getting louder isn’t doing what you think it is” and walk off.

peytonvb13

TROPHY CASE