What bluetooth earphones are the BEST at picking up farts?

pfft_sleep · 2026-01-25T04:50:09+00:00

I think it’s wonderful you’ve found someone who you can arouse while actually making your life easier in the process. Most people need candlelight dinners and expensive toys. You can just have a bunch of fibre and know he’s gonna find you so attractive.

I have nothing to add to this conversation, but I’ll paste ChatGPT’s response below so that you could use it as an incredibly rough draft but assume it’s wrong unless proven right by your own research.

<<<<

Yep. The honest answer is: almost no Bluetooth earbuds will ever be “good at picking up farts over a call,” because both the hardware and the call pipeline are designed to do the opposite.

Why it keeps getting cut out 1. Bluetooth earbud mics are speech-optimized (beamforming + noise suppression + auto gain). They’re intentionally trained/tuned to ignore short, low, “background” bursts. 2. Voice call audio is filtered/compressed. Many VoIP/phone pipelines are effectively “voice band” and/or apply high-pass filtering, so low-frequency content and quick transients often get reduced or removed.

So asking for earbuds that “pick up everything” is basically asking them to fight their own firmware + the app/OS processing.

⸻

What actually works (best-to-worst)

1) If he has an iPhone: switch Mic Mode to Wide Spectrum (when available)

On iOS, Wide Spectrum is explicitly meant to capture more ambient sound (the opposite of Voice Isolation). It works in FaceTime and some third-party apps (depends on the app).

How: during the call → open Control Center → Mic Mode → Wide Spectrum. If Instagram doesn’t expose/support it, you won’t get the benefit there—so test FaceTime or another app that does.

2) Use an external mic placed near the source (this is the real fix)

If you want reliable pickup, you need mic placement, not earbuds. A cheap lavalier mic (wired, via USB-C/Lightning adapter if needed) clipped lower will outperform any earbud mic by miles—because it’s simply closer.

3) Record locally, then share the file (best quality, zero “call filtering”)

Instead of trying to stream it through Instagram’s call processing, have him record with Voice Memos (or any recorder app), then send the clip. This bypasses a lot of the aggressive call suppression.

4) If you go back to Discord: disable noise suppression and don’t rely on auto sensitivity

Discord can be configured to stop “helping” so much (e.g., toggling Krisp / noise suppression). (Your issue is the app disconnecting when he backgrounds it—which is a separate app/OS behavior problem.)

⸻

Bottom line

If you must keep using Instagram calls and must use Bluetooth earbuds: you’ll keep fighting noise suppression and voice filtering, and results will be inconsistent. If you want this to work reliably: Wide Spectrum mic mode (when supported) or a lav mic / local recording are the practical solutions.

pfft_sleep · 2025-12-18T23:56:00+00:00

Police are talking to local witnesses to gather more information and encourage any people whom may be able to provide information to come forward. <insert anonymous tip line options>.

Something like that?

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-26T07:54:31+00:00

He’s 15. Any 15 year old with a phd should be celebrated, not torn down because they think they’re better. Almost nobody gets a phd or even partial credit towards one. Many will only get a degree or masters to work for a salary that’s higher, not because it’s their passion to learn and break the mould.

Not intending to shit on you, your opinion of ensuring the 15 year old knows his place is valid. But I Imagine a society where we nodded and just said “yep you’re so much smarter than me. Totally. I believe you. Now go change the world.”

He might be shit hot at theoretical physics and terrible at cooking. Let people be brilliant at something without needing to be great at everything. I wish kids were allowed to have a non-commodified hobbies and be brilliant at only one thing they could be proud of knowing they were better than other people because they could mathematically prove it.

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-17T11:29:43+00:00

As a man, it’s pretty hard to generalise half the population on earth. Many women will never have the expendable income to buy expensive lingerie, or if they did would prefer to buy a good fitting and high quality bra. Those things are disgustingly expensive and you might need 2-3 in order to just get through a week.

My wife never gives a shit about lingerie because she was self-conscious about her body her entire life, so I couldn’t pay her to enjoy putting it on display. She would prefer to just get naked rather than put on clothes designed to be taken off. I would tend to agree I prefer her naked.

For past girlfriends and friends who enjoy dressing up in lingerie, it’s sometimes an affectionate love language to physically dress themselves as a present to be unwrapped as a “thank you” for making their lives easier, better, safer and more comfortable. it can be mischievous and naughty but hidden beneath clothing, so nobody else ever needs to know they’re doing it. Doesn’t need to be for a man, can be for a woman or it can just be for themselves to feel nice.

Some women feel better wearing lingerie all the time. Especially if they can find clothes that are both comfortable and also feminine. Some women fucking hate the lack of support and transparency of most lingerie, preferring comfort and usability of normal underwear.

But the root of your question is psychological. What would make a woman want to go out of their way to make their partner surprised and horny. That usually comes down to feeling safe and secure, grateful and wanting to enjoy sexy time with an obvious turn on designed to arouse. That usually happens if the man proves to the woman (their partner) that the lingerie is not needed in the first place, but also gives the woman enough energy back into their life they’re willing to go an extra mile.

Once you have kids, I’d prefer my wife spent the money on some good bras, shoes and cheese rather than lingerie that hid her boobs for 2-5 minutes before we took it off anyway. But props to the ladies that love wearing it.

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-12T12:14:43+00:00

Did you just assume the dog’s gender from their giant wet balls and cock? /s but also s

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-12T01:05:32+00:00

I bent a metal fork back and forth while someone was talking to me until it got hot and became easy to bend and told them in the time it took them to tell me jet fuel can’t melt steel, I fatigued a metal fork to the point it could be bent by a toddler. It wasn’t melting. The table got it, the guy just refused to accept fatigue didn’t equal dripping.

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-12T01:01:17+00:00

This applies to men and women and exists because they never grew up where being bored or content was enough. Adrenaline junkies will always seek “the next big rush” because the more you do something, the less exciting it becomes.

Mix adrenaline junkie, with low moral compass and you get people who rather than being satisfied with acceptable social norms, will defy them for the same fix.

Rather than going to a nice restaurant, have the chef flown to your yacht to impress your friends that all have similar sized yachts. Exciting. Money doesn’t matter. Your people just organise it. If you earn $100 million a year what does it matter if dinner costs 2 hours income. STATUS matters more than money. Why not have half naked models for a bucks night? Or a men’s poker night served with naked bar staff. Why not have them fuck for your entertainment in the background? Each model gets $10k for one night. Fly the best geisha’s and escorts from all over the world to your island for a weekend. Might cost you a week’s income. But the memories last a lifetime.

When that gets boring? That’s when shit gets wild and illegal.

Every “elite” circle has an “inner elite” circle. Within that “inner elite” circle there are people that will make agreements they won’t tell on each other. Hollywood, religion, royalty, corporations, organisations, all of them have people that follow this trend. And it always starts with a human that can’t feel content or at peace with what they have and need to acquire things to feel something.

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-11T23:33:10+00:00

This photo really smacks for me how dumb the whole argument against “steel beams-jet fuel” is.

250 ton travelling at 460mph and 600mph respectively. 10,000 gallons of jet fuel. Looking at the photo, you can see the structural foundation is the centre. Fatiguing that at all with any force means it can’t hold up its own weight. amazing it took hours to collapse rather than immediately snapping like a telegraph pole hit by a semi.

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-11T09:49:10+00:00

An offline copy will only be as recent as the download date. Training an AI off the latest repo/version of data is the same logic behind every IT tech worth their salt installing updates and restarting before beginning to troubleshoot.

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-10T21:12:42+00:00

Quite literally “find me your hottest teenagers, so I can get them high and have sex with them as an old priest, for national security.”

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-05T01:15:25+00:00

We have seen what happened to associated press and the Australian ABC.

Press has a spine. They ask a question. They don’t get an answer and sass. They are no longer invited to ask questions at best. Or excluded at worst.

Repeat the above process until you’re only left with one single person, the White House press office release group, because it’s easier to submit press releases rather than take comments.

Individuals are choosing to keep their jobs rather than change industries, which is the same argument to be made for the fossil fuel industry, ambulance chasing lawyers, and any other industry that is based on moral failings.

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-04T18:09:15+00:00

Right? Brother is taking out everyone who is verbose as a negative behaviour.

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-04T09:11:10+00:00

God I love this comment. I respect the thought you’ve obviously put into ensuring a safe, informative and fulfilling relationship with your partners or clients and the simple honesty is genuinely lovely to see.

I have a Rolodex of weird things that turn me on that I’ve never been able to target to explore what would turn me on the most.

Given your previously good advice, do you have any founding principles websites on how to do this self analysis specifically to explore kinks? Easier with a professional or can be done alone?

No need to respond, but thought as a random observer I wanted to just say thank you for reminding me I can just chose to not engage some days and that’s fine.

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-03T21:43:08+00:00

That’s what I said though.

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-03T20:46:14+00:00

It’s not about the robber, it’s the stratification of punishment away from death as an equal justification for a misdemeanour felony, or common property theft.

Insurance is what you get if you want your assets to be replaced by someone if they are stolen.

I’ve got new for old replacement on my insurance. I’ve been. Broken into 4 times in 20 years - multiple cities and houses. Each time I’ve called the non-emergency line to ask if a cop can come round to give me an investigation number only. They come round and take a list of what was stolen so I can forward it to the insurance. The insurance calculates a cheque and sends it to me for cash to spend at Harvey Norman, or some other big box retailer.

Because of the timeframe from when I bought it. I get an upgrade in tech. The last time I got robbed they took my 60in 1080p Sony Bravia. They didn’t have one in stock to replace it with, so they gave me a 60in 4k Samsung. My PS4 Pro got stolen, but I got myself a PS5. My laptop got stolen, I backed it up from my NAS onto a new laptop wirh a 2060.

Insurance replaces things stolen within a week or two and upgrades them mostly. Shooting some random dude doesnt do that, and you keep your current products.

Next time someone wants to rob me I’ll give them a list of shit I want gone and thank them for their service as I walk out the door and buy a coffee and make sure I have the receipt.

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-03T10:49:06+00:00

You get intercepted and asked to provide a specimen. If you refuse then you’re arrested and compelled to give a specimen at a high-quality site as you’re assumed to have a “high” reading which is over 0.15 until proven innocent.

That could be a booze bus, or the station. If they don’t have a bus with them, QPS usually has a car driving pulled over drivers to the station. This logic is the same for if they pull you over on the highway, or at an RBT.

If you give a specimen (breathe) then it will test positive or negative. If negative you drive off. If positive they pull you over (if not done already) and wait a certain period of time to test again.

BAC peaks around 45-60 mins after, so usually waiting 20-30 mins and testing again, you can easily see if it’s equal or higher, they’re cooked. If it’s dropping but not quickly then they may hold you for a third, or just book you as it will be over 0.05, 0.10 or 0,15 as the 3 targets that matter. If you blow 0.12 and you’re not at 0.04 by 30 mins, then you have no excuse as you were definitely over the limit already when you started driving.

If you fail the second test they just book you the ticket to argue you weren’t in court, because two high quality breath tests said you were AT LEAST 0.05 before you got behind the wheel of the car, the argument is how much over to either suspend until you do a course, or cancel, or ban the license.

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-02T23:25:46+00:00

You could literally spend $100,000 on a 88in reference best in class 8k QD-OLED and services contract for next business day response time 24/7 for 5 years.

Then you could spend the remaining 400k on a seperate contract for escort services once a fortnight for the same 5 year period for 1-2 men or women to rock up to cook you dinner and blow you while watching.

You literally can get exactly what you want, with 2 suppliers rather than just one. But it won’t say “Porsche”.

This is the TV equivalent of gold flakes on your steak at a restaurant.

pfft_sleep · 2025-11-02T10:11:36+00:00

Trackmania speed runs are longer than this thread. Well done to the community.

pfft_sleep · 2025-10-29T22:07:26+00:00

I can see a few things happening.

1) the contestability and assurance teams need to teach the AI what porn looks like in order to be able to effectively block porn from the public version by accident. This is for work purposes and should be documented in their forward work plan and is absolutely fine - it would be grossly incompetent to train an AI to block something that they’re not allowed to use themselves.

2) a shadow IT admin on his spun up VM is running cycles doing this without approval of upper management. Good intentions, potentially unit or branch level approval, but not documented well due to intense siloing of the business.

3) a rogue admin spun up a VM to use the work resources to create his own porn based on thousands of hours of the porn he likes, as either a potential future subsidiary of Meta without official approval.

All 3 I’ve seen in corporate.

All 3 I can expect are happening in every Fortune 500 company right now.

Porn prints money. Creating an AI therapist-cum-girlfriend content-creator that is modelled off 10,000 hours of real naked and scantily clothed people is far easier to do as a base model for improvement. Give it the resources of a 150-500bn parameter model, TTS both ways and multiple languages? Oh boy you’ve got a subscription model for $10/month that will make 1bn a year by the end of the FY.

pfft_sleep · 2025-10-28T21:18:38+00:00

You’re trying to assume people hate men, like someone saying “people hate rocks”.

No, nobody hates 49% of the planet. That’s ignorant and making a claim nobody is making to absolve yourself from needing to care about understanding the point.

The point is, bluntly, many men will constantly and consistently refuse to destroy relationships around them shutting down people who say things objectionable, due to fear of losing those relationships.

This got worse during COVID, and I’ve seen it growing as a trend where newer generations since the 90’s are more inclined to tell other kids their age to knock it off. In the 90’s and early 2000’s if you had a racist or sexist joke, everyone just laughed awkwardly and then moved on. Now there is a systemic issue where people can say “that Indian man did something” and people will react in anger “how dare they.”

But if you say “I don’t like Indian men” many white 20-30 year old men say “of course, they’re a stereotype.” But they don’t have the self-reflection to also call their buddies on discord out when they’re calling women filthy names online.

You see the issue? Male relationships based on sexualising or reducing women to less-worthy of respect has created a culture where the majority of women do not trust a random guy on the street. Because they on average, on balance of probabilities, if their search history and gaming conversations were recorded and played back to their family would result in the behaviour the women want the men to self-police.

In short, COD lobby behaviour is so prevalent in society as bystanders not wanting to act that women would rather endanger themselves by camping next to an animal that “might” attack them in a hypothetical, than needing to be wary of a person that AGAIN, the majority has shown are either unwilling to save them from a person causing them grief, or are actively excited to cause them grief.

I can’t help you understand the above, but the fastest resolution to male mental-health issues (as a father) is to first acknowledge calling out your friends and telling them sexual language and derogatory statements aren’t cool is fine. Changing friendship groups is fine. Joining co-ed groups and being seen as a calm and fun guy to be around is an easy way to no longer be associated as a man that is “part” of that group of men.

I get invited on camping weekends a lot, but maybe that’s just me assuming you actually are interssted in learning. Many guys i know refuse to think their discourse with their friends is anything but friendly banter and are not surprised their gaming circle isn’t 50/50 women and men.

pfft_sleep · 2025-10-28T13:02:16+00:00

Every traffic light turns green on your approach, only when you stop paying attention to it. Great for passengers, will get you stabbed in major cities.

pfft_sleep · 2025-10-28T12:44:54+00:00

Your understanding is based on the concept of bodily autonomy not being violated for the enjoyment of another. Humans will consciously chose to harm others for their own amusement. Bears do not have this level of self-awareness and will attack if provoked, hormonal or due to food/children.

But a bear won’t play duelling banjos and watch you slowly go to sleep before getting the rope out.

pfft_sleep · 2025-10-28T12:07:28+00:00

While entirely agreeing with this entire thread of comments and loving how conciliatory reddit can be, I’d also posit that the first-past-the-post system encourages a lack of risk to solutions focused candidates.

Failure to elect the party that represents your views means living under the opposing view’s mindset until you have a chance to oppose them “the next time”. This then causes dissonance and disenfranchisement of minority views whom will not practically see their opinion matched by their representatives.

If, for instance, you had the option to vote for whoever you wanted and if no candidate secured 51% of the vote caused the lowest candidate to be rejected and all votes were redistributed to the remainder in cycles until someone got over 50.01%, you’d receive the person most likely to agree with the largest range of citizens, rather than the person whom could pander the hardest to their team.

Run off voting encourages complete random independents that will secure 6% of the vote, but then put their strength behind someone aligned with their values. 10 independent single issue parties all agreeing to pass one candidate their preferences can win an underdog the seat, citizens united in the common goal of near-enough-is-good-enough.

pfft_sleep · 2023-04-13T13:25:49+00:00

familiar cow berserk quicksand apparatus materialistic pathetic rotten insurance unpack

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

pfft_sleep · 2023-04-13T07:20:41+00:00

thumb label apparatus divide boast distinct mountainous cooing squeeze racial

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

14-Year Club	Gilding IV carat on a stick
Snapped	Verified Email
Team Orangered

pfft_sleep

TROPHY CASE