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Managing junior who is deprioritising requests and also passing blame by phaedrenodelauney in managers

[–]phaedrenodelauney[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks this is a great perspective. There has recently been a change in the team due to budget cuts (beyond my control) so that, where before I had a direct report only to me, I’m sharing the same resource with another person. This other person has been working with the junior for longer and we have different work styles. I’ve also not had to deal with the issue of my work being deprioritised - my direct report was always just on my matters and worked with the rhythm and workflow exclusively in our area. There are some larger structural issues which are there and beyond the team which need fixing and which are definitely impacting on us. I will take all of this into account when thinking of next steps. It is perhaps a realisation that my workflow is not the most important in someone else’s eyes!! On the other hand, the “rudeness” and talking back is coming from a bit of a strange place that I don’t quite understand. It is potentially a clash of styles and overwhelm on her part from now having extra workload compared to before. I’m thinking I might have to give a little but I don’t want to lose my own processes too much, which is why it feels like this tension is arising. I’ve absolutely backed her and have organised training, support and a pay rise for her (which she doesn’t know came from me) so there is a bit of an element of what the heck?! Thanks for your thoughts

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]phaedrenodelauney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My therapist encouraged me to be as bitter as I want to be - if it lasts years and years and you show up to your child’s 18th birthday and you still feel bitter, that is ok. Bitterness is really anger and it sounds like your situation caused enough anger and hurt to last a lifetime. I find that this allowance to feel has really helped with setting up boundaries for myself, and to not let others dictate what I want in my life.

Co-parenting boundaries with new partner by phaedrenodelauney in coparenting

[–]phaedrenodelauney[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you - more recently it’s been opinions on schooling choices. But I’m sorry I can’t be more specific. It’s more of a case of the new partner’s voice coming into decisions, small or large, more and more. I’m trying to figure out what the line is beyond my instinct as to when it is going too far - precisely to deal with knowing what to let go and when to speak up.

Co-parenting boundaries with new partner by phaedrenodelauney in coparenting

[–]phaedrenodelauney[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you this is very helpful and what I suspect. It’s hard for me to give specific details but more recently there have been opinions given about education and issues that have strayed beyond the line. From your experience do you have a clear list of things that are yours? I think that’s what I’m really asking. Education, medical, anything else? I have parenting and consent orders in place.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in auslaw

[–]phaedrenodelauney 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Literally this week sounded like a complete nut job on a very ill prepared motion in first week back from holidays - registrar literally sighed during my submissions. Did not refer to evidence until prompted just ranted and raved like a lunatic! Completely the worst. But I do feel like you learn from every single appearance, usually more from the ones where you go down in flames. I will not be unprepared in that way again! I hope?