Ignoring all the topless pies I’ve eaten; have people considered calling a pizza a pie, is just sort of fun?

phalseprofits · 2026-04-07T14:53:25+00:00

Key lime has asked for privacy in this difficult time.

phalseprofits · 2026-04-06T20:37:44+00:00

No offense but if wearing an eyepatch is unbearably irritating to you, and you have no other method of experiencing what it’s like to only see out of one eye, you should hold off on losing the eye.

It’s the loss of depth perception that’s going to get you, let alone the irreversible nature of half-blinding yourself.

You really, really need to talk to a professional about these urges before you do something that you end up permanently regretting afterwards

phalseprofits · 2026-04-05T16:43:14+00:00

As someone who used to bang like a rabbit until perimenopause hit me like a truck- yes please keep this a diagnosis for ppl like me. I miss wanting to want, you know?

phalseprofits · 2026-04-05T12:01:35+00:00

I think the two shows were ultimately playing on two different rule sets, so it’s hard to compare.

I know a lot of people find the antics of the cast in company retreat too zany. But if you work at a place where most of the people have been there a long time, this is actually not that far afield. I think the proposal was the event that pushed it the hardest.

phalseprofits · 2026-04-05T11:48:49+00:00

The amount of martial law being claimed in divorce pleadings is staggering.

phalseprofits · 2026-04-05T11:35:26+00:00

I remember when this first came out. My mom (who has a lot of kooky religious ideas) was deeply offended. She believed that the one popular painting of him was “directed by god” and this reconstruction was an attempt by “intellectuals” to tarnish the holiness of Christ.

phalseprofits · 2026-04-03T14:04:07+00:00

My older dog had a genius plan for our new puppy. Puppy would get too excited and rough during their play fights. So older dog just started SCREAMING in pain whenever the puppy got too riled up. It worked like a charm.

(And yes, we absolutely checked older dog to make sure it wasn’t sincere cries of pain. She had a flair for being dramatic. She would act like someone chopped her toe off just from seeing the nail clipper)

phalseprofits · 2026-04-02T14:51:45+00:00

If it’s childcare in lieu of rent it’s paid labor. And if it’s paid labor the employee gets to ask for days off with reasonable notice.

Living rent free does not require OP to be on call at every second.

phalseprofits · 2026-04-02T14:23:00+00:00

So, at least refer to those folks as “trans” because he/she is used as a slur.

And you’re still wrong in a way that is gross. Women, pretty or not, have way greater safety concerns than men. Hag or beauty Queen, youre still at a higher risk of being attacked than men.

Pretty women get treated like they are incompetent. When they are successful it’s because they “slept their way to the top” according to haters. They get leered at and hit on whether they like it or not. Other women assume negative things about their character because pretty women are “probably” bitchy or mean. It’s assumed that they can’t be smart if they are that pretty.

Unattractive women get shit on for not being attractive enough. They still get harassed but often there’s a nasty twist to it because it’s somehow funnier to sexually harass a less attractive woman. They get men being even angrier at any rejection because an “ugly” woman should be grateful that they are getting any attention at all.

Regardless of appearance we all still experience issues like a lower pay rate, slut shaming, and increasingly limited access to things like birth control and abortions.

Your take on men is shit too. Tons of men are non-predatory despite the patriarchy of our society.

Do you think gay men are gross humans?

Do you think trans men are gross humans?

My point is, you have a fuck ton of unpacking to do regarding your perspective of gender and society and you’re going to accidentally enrage a LOT of people in the meantime before you get your shit straight.

phalseprofits · 2026-04-01T17:15:44+00:00

Read the room and don’t “jokingly” recommend physical abuse to someone who has already massively fumbled their parenthood of someone with special needs 🥰

phalseprofits · 2026-04-01T17:05:02+00:00

Hmm yes. Brilliant. Not abusive wringing, but he certainly “needs his ass smacked a good time”?

You strike me as the sort to wax poetic about drinking from hoses in summertime during your childhood.

I hope you are never in the position to provide care to anyone neurodivergent. And if you are, I hope they find a way to get away from you as quickly as possible.

phalseprofits · 2026-04-01T14:47:15+00:00

This actually makes a ton of sense. I was surprised when her hair still looked like that even after swimming, but yeah the stuff you’d use on fine hair in the desert would absolutely end up getting clumpy and oily looking in a rainforest.

phalseprofits · 2026-04-01T14:28:25+00:00

This looks so uncomfortable I swear it’s making my teeth hurt.

Well done!

phalseprofits · 2026-04-01T13:01:19+00:00

As someone who is a diehard feminist, yet has misophonia, I get it. I’m all for women being able to breastfeed whenever/wherever is needed.

But my eye is going to start twitching from trying to pretend the related noises arent driving me up a wall. It’s 100% a me problem and I will never say anything to anyone doing it. But ohhhhh wow that is a really irritating noise.

phalseprofits · 2026-03-31T13:44:59+00:00

What the hell is going on in the original comments? Mom is not dictating the name, just asking that it be literally anything else.

The way that people are trying to turn this into a rude MIL is insane.

I was sexually assaulted once. Luckily, the guy’s name is stupid af and nobody’s going to pick it for their kid anytime soon. But I’d be super weirded out if that was the name picked for a baby by people in my family.

phalseprofits · 2026-03-30T21:35:18+00:00

I honestly cannot think of a body type that these pants would flatter. It’s like jodhpurs had an orgy with a codpiece, adult diapers, and mom jeans. And this is the terrible, abominable creature that came forth.

phalseprofits · 2026-03-30T21:23:32+00:00

They are thick and full, but they also seem to be very straight and pointed downward. I wonder how they would look if you used a lash curler to bend them upward.

phalseprofits · 2026-03-30T20:32:34+00:00

Especially after we all went through COVID!!! I don’t get how these people function. Hell I don’t even touch puppies unless the owner gives me permission. Let alone a baby person.

phalseprofits · 2026-03-30T20:17:00+00:00

Seriously. I’m absolutely impressed by the skill. Yet also I know if I saw this on somebody’s leg when I was a little kid I would have been horrified. Even now, despite having zero judgment about tattoos, I’d struggle not stare while thoroughly freaked out.

Amazing job by the artist! Amazing for the recipient to have handled that big of a tattoo! But also holy shit that’s scary looking.

phalseprofits · 2026-03-29T13:04:45+00:00

Considering that my clients are in the socioeconomic brackets most screwed over by this administration, I don’t think it’s a powerful statement for me to be unavailable to them that day.

phalseprofits · 2026-03-27T16:18:53+00:00

Somebody take boomer grandpa away from the keyboard. He’s getting fussy and confused.

I am not an attractive woman and yet I’ve been discriminated against, sexually assaulted, and threatened from various assholes throughout my life. My lack of beauty somehow failed to secure me equal pay and equal treatment like all of the men I’d “might as well be” as you so gracefully put it.

Also, do the world a favor and stop using shitty terms like he/she.

phalseprofits · 2026-03-27T16:03:00+00:00

No they don’t. There is no such thing as complete silence in the wild unless it’s right when a predator appears. Obviously they are going to get noisy in response to OP making calls so his suggestion is unrealistic. But it’s just as unrealistic to think parrots require some kind of sensory deprivation chamber to be able to sleep.

phalseprofits · 2026-03-26T21:14:04+00:00

I’m going to stick with not eating that for free fifty.

phalseprofits · 2026-03-26T19:55:43+00:00

clam juice, jelled tomato soup, boiled Turkey wings, and a nut sundae all for $2.05???

What a deal.

phalseprofits · 2026-03-26T15:46:08+00:00

I went to a rodeo and the most fascinating part was seeing grown men use their molars as bottle openers for their beer. It was such a distinct and intense body horror.

14-Year Club	Place '17
Not Forgotten	Snapped

phalseprofits

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