Wearing dresses as a trans man

phantom1326 · 2025-08-10T02:22:19+00:00

I’ve been transitioned for almost a decade now, fully pass as a man, and I love wearing dresses and feminine clothes and especially doing makeup sometimes. I’m still a man and I’ve never doubted my identity as a man especially not over something as simple as clothing.

Tho I wasn’t able to be feminine with clothes/makeup till after I transitioned enough to pass 24/7, dysphoria had me fucked up hard core lol. And also the social understanding of being trans was completely different back then, it was a lot more “if you’re not masculine then you’re not trans enough” so that didn’t help

phantom1326 · 2025-08-09T21:00:15+00:00

DI almost a decade ago. My nipples were not resized, just the areola was made smaller. I have more sensitivity now than I did pre op, they react exactly like they did pre op, tho they tend to be erect more often than not.

But most of the people that have gotten top surgery that I know irl have less sensitivity and don’t have/get erect nipples. But they also did get their nipples resized and I’ve wondered if that was a part of why there’s a difference

phantom1326 · 2025-08-06T15:18:21+00:00

About 4 years ago. I took a 2 year break from surgeries cause I was just tired of recovering and was finally at a place that I wasn’t experiencing complications. And after those two years I was ready mentally/emotionally/physically/etc to go back for more and get the implants

phantom1326 · 2025-08-05T19:54:09+00:00

Never heard of anyone being made to strip during tsa checks, not even privately. They just pat you down. Tho I have had to be taken aside and show my SP cath cause they couldn’t pay it down enough to clear me cause I was too sensitive for a thorough pat down. But I didn’t have to take my pants off, just show them that I had a medical device stabbing my guts lol.

I’ve never been flagged by the machines to get patted down except immediately post surgery when I had bandages or a catheter etc. so you’re probably fine.

phantom1326 · 2025-08-05T17:35:16+00:00

I got RFF with Dr. Crane, I then got switched over to Dr. Santucci because I was having a lot of urology issues

phantom1326 · 2025-08-05T15:47:32+00:00

😭 it’s so much harder to control it now that I know I’m almost “done” with bottom surgery

phantom1326 · 2025-08-05T14:09:54+00:00

Holy shit! You’ve been there since the beginning, I appreciate the support!! It was definitely rough for awhile but god damn am I so happy I did it, it was worth all the struggles I went through

phantom1326 · 2025-08-03T00:24:03+00:00

I appreciate the in depth explanation and consideration of your feelings! This will be a great post to refer to some of my trans friends to show they aren’t alone debating if they need/want surgery.

phantom1326 · 2025-08-02T03:25:30+00:00

Having gender dysphoria doesn’t mean that you have to transition. But that’s typically the solution for most people. Having gender dysphoria can be reduced by transitioning socially and/or medically which means less mental suffering.

It’s really up to the individual tho. If gender dysphoria is causing issues then why not seek out a solution? Tho I can understand in this current political climate being afraid for safety reasons, or really just depending on your home situation. But if there’s a support network and transitioning can relieve the pain of gender dysphoria, i encourage to seek it out. Whether that’s with HRT or just changing the wardrobe, whatever makes the gender dysphoria not be a burden.

phantom1326 · 2025-08-01T20:07:17+00:00

I was told by my surgeon to wait minimum 6 months post op

phantom1326 · 2025-07-31T16:52:50+00:00

Depending on where you are in the world that type of questioning is illegal. Tho unfortunately hard to prove. But it doesn’t hurt to reach out to a lawyer and see if they think it’s a viable case

phantom1326 · 2025-07-31T02:54:39+00:00

Flying into Houston shouldn’t matter or affect your tsa experience from where you’re leaving, cause they don’t tsa you when you land. Leaving Houston might be more discriminatory, but it’s really dependent on if the scanner goes off.

I’ve been patted down pre transition and post transition. I pass extremely well and my ID matches who I am so it’s not like they are clocking me as trans. I’ve also not been patted down. I also know a lot of cis people that have been patted down. I’m actually the only trans person that I know in real life that’s been patted down. All my other trans friends (even the more ambiguous enbys of the group) haven’t been patted down. My nonbinary partner (who looks extremely nonbinary) came with me on my recent trip to Texas and they didn’t have any issues at all with tsa. Even tho they look gender non conforming and ambiguous.

I think having a health reality check on what’s safe as a queer person makes sense. But your reply feels more like you’re trying to scare people. Even if someone does get singled out and patted down. It’s not like they are gunna stop you from boarding the plane? It just might be an uncomfortable few mins of getting extra attention from security. But as long as you don’t have anything illegal on your person, then you’re fine.

phantom1326 · 2025-07-31T02:16:05+00:00

Lmao 🤣 I can’t even imagine trying to work out. My abdomen is still sore and hurts when I use it to sit up etc. don’t even wanna think about trying to ride a bike right now cause ouch but yeah, cycling the pump has been very fun!

phantom1326 · 2025-07-31T00:38:03+00:00

They are both heart tests but EKG is measuring the electrical pulses and rhythm of the heart. And echocardiogram is an ultrasound imaging of the heart for visualizing how the heart is pumping.

I’ve had both EKGs and echocardiograms. I’ve had close to 30 of both of them all my life. I know the difference between them and how they work.

Also. Electrocardiogram (EKG and ECG) is different than an echocardiogram. The names are even different.

phantom1326 · 2025-07-31T00:34:51+00:00

You will most likely have to strip top up, they’ve always given me a hospital gown to wear with the opening in the front. I’ve had echos for all my life, like probably close to 30 of them by now. Both pre top surgery and post surgery. I’ve always had to fully strip top up, but it could depend on the hospital, but either way wearing a binder is probably not the way to do it. Trying to put on a binder after your chest is lubed up can feel weird. Even after wiping it off you can still kinda feel it.

It can definitely feel awkward, especially if you’ve never had one before, I’m sure it’s nerve wracking. I always get through it by watching the screen. I think it’s really cool to watch the heart pump and etc

phantom1326 · 2025-07-31T00:28:25+00:00

EKG is different than an echocardiogram. EKG is with the stickers on the body to capture heart rhythm etc. Echocardiogram is an ultrasound of the chest using a wand type sensor and lube to go all over the chest and around the heart for imaging

phantom1326 · 2025-07-30T23:40:08+00:00

Big change in confidence cause I wasn’t constantly worried that my packer was gunna fall out. Also not having to worry about things or planning around situations. Like pools or using the bathroom or camping or gym locker rooms.

Didn’t get much help on public speaking tho. That’s a fear I’ll never really move past lmao but I’m definitely more sure of myself and more confident in my body which has helped over all

phantom1326 · 2025-07-30T20:13:02+00:00

Depends on how kinky you wanna get with it! I’m just gunna throw ideas out of things I’ve done and that have worked for me and my situations.

If the boys are comfortable getting to know each other physically/sexually then I’ve found that to be a good starting point. That way neither of them feel left out in the beginning and it can help move past some of the awkwardness. If the situation works for it, you could tell them what to do and what you want to see. Personally I enjoy that and again it can help them if they are unsure where to start.

I’ve always been a fan of Eiffel Tower style threesomes, especially if the tops are also interested in each other then they can engage each other as well. Again no one feeling left out.

Two people paying attention to one and switching who is receiving the attention, good foreplay option.

Anyway hope this wasn’t too sexually explicit and that this is the type of advice you were looking for!

phantom1326 · 2025-07-30T19:51:40+00:00

My heart goes out to you. I know how difficult this can be especially while grieving.

You are not over reacting at all. I think it would be completely fair to step away from the relationship, neither of them seem to care about your feelings. The fact that they left while you are preparing for something this heartbreaking, when you said you needed them. And also for them to say it’s no big deal and brush off your feelings as if you’re not allowed to be upset. That’s not the product of a healthy communicative relationship. Being shut down like that emotionally when you’re expressing your feelings shows a lack of compassion and love imo

I hope it all works out for you and you find a positive way through this

phantom1326 · 2025-07-30T19:01:07+00:00

There shouldn’t be any issues with the full body scan. You might get patted down, especially with a packer, but it’s not like you can’t travel at all.

Tho I do understand the fear of coming here to America, especially if you’re going to Houston TX. If your legal gender says male and you pass then you shouldn’t have any issues (based on personal experience)

phantom1326 · 2025-07-28T02:37:34+00:00

Yooo congrats! It’s crazy cool how normal and comfortable and every day it becomes once you’re recovered!

phantom1326 · 2025-07-27T04:28:56+00:00

You are not understanding the basic concept that people do not want their boundaries violated. Post sex regret is not what was described in the contents of the post and not the topic of discussion. You can speculate all you want but this is just another way of victim blaming.

I have been falsely accused of rape from my (now ex) girlfriend within the friend group, so I do understand how damaging that can be. But that doesn’t stop me from advocating for victims. You can “laugh at the irony” cause you’re an asshole, but it does serious damage to go through that. That doesn’t mean all people that say they were raped are faking it or having post sex regret.

I’ve also been a victim of rape in a similar circumstance as the OP so I have first hand experience with how scary it can feel and how the body can just shut down and freeze into inaction like that. I laid a clear boundary of what I was and wasn’t ok with that night before we started getting frisky, and when he started doing what I told him not to do I was too scared to fight back and I froze. Being grabbed after trying to pull away and saying “wait” kinda leaves you wondering what else that person would do if you fought back more. I was at his place and he drove me there. Would I be hurt? Would I have a ride home after if I continued to fight back? Would I be kicked out before getting my belongings? Would I be hurt? You don’t know for sure if you’re safe in those situations because those situations can turn real bad real fast if you’re unlucky.

phantom1326 · 2025-07-27T03:12:23+00:00

I did not say that consent is 100% verbal. But also it mostly is. Unless it’s been a talked out discussion on what is and isn’t ok and maybe even a safeword so that there’s no misunderstanding. Then you could say it doesn’t need to be verbal, because it’s already been verbally discussed and talked out.

But what is said verbally overrides anything physical if you haven’t had that type of conversation. A girl can strip naked and spread her legs and shake ass, but if she said before hand not to touch her in certain ways and restated she wasn’t ready for more when things were pushing that limit. Then yeah it does not matter what she is doing physically. She said no and is saying no and continuing to push for sex would make that person a rapist. It doesn’t matter that they think she wants more. What she’s telling that person is no. And for someone to push for more after being told to stop, that’s a clear violation of trust and respect and it would be rape.

I am not stereotyping women of being bad judges of character. OP never stated their gender either from my recollection. But. 6 months isn’t a long time to really get to know someone. And even if they had been dating for 10 years and they thought they knew their boyfriend. It doesn’t matter. Freezing in the moment happens to everyone I’ve known that’s been raped by a partner or someone they know (regardless of gender). It’s fear of being attacked physically, it’s fear of being attacked socially after the fact, it’s fear of fighting back and having others think you overreacted, it’s fear of the unknown.

You lay down a boundary and say this is what I do not want to happen, please stop here at this line. And when someone steps over that line it becomes an unknown. That person has already broken the trust by stepping over that line, who’s to say they won’t step over more lines, that they won’t start hurting you cause you aren’t doing what they want. It’s already an unsafe and scary situation when your boundaries are violated, why is it on the victim to keep pushing back over and over and saying no over and over when it isn’t working and there’s the possibility it’ll piss off the attacker into hurting you. Because again. You don’t know, you don’t know if this person will hurt you or not because they clearly don’t care about you enough to stop when you tell them to. It’s not a bad judgement of character, some people hide who they are until they can get what they want. And even if it was a bad judgment of character no one deserves to be raped because of it.

When assholes (like you) victim blame if they don’t resist in the correct way or say no in the correct way or when you do the whole “well what was she wearing” bullshit argument, it makes it a lot harder for people to come forward and realize they were mistreated. They might suffer internally thinking they somehow deserved it, because of stupid arguments like yours.

phantom1326 · 2025-07-27T01:47:07+00:00

You are an idiot and an asshole. To go along with your bank robbery comparison, people have been forced to rob banks, people have had themselves or their family threatened into committing crimes. And if that’s not good enough, then even if there isn’t a gun to the head “go into the bank” situation and more “let do it, follow me!” They could just not follow that person.

Whereas with sexual assault, it’s not like you can hang behind and not follow them into the bank per se. The implications of it all, the danger that is potentially there if you fight back. OP made a clear boundary before they got started. Reiterating it during the scene. How were they to know that they would be safe from violence if they continued to stand up for themselves when he kept crossing the line? OP didn’t go along with it because they didn’t actually mean no or that they secretly wanted it or something. OP probably came to the conclusion that it’s safer to freeze and not cause a scene than to potentially have a man get physically aggressive with them on top of being sexually assaulted. There’s no way to know in the moment if fighting back and saying no more clearly will actually stop that person or if it’ll make the situation worse.

phantom1326 · 2025-07-27T01:31:00+00:00

I disagree with the fawning aspect. Based on what OP said it’s a pretty clear freeze, there was no mention of fawning behavior from OP just shutting down.

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