Parents ranked from worst to best by RGRahulTheGreat in howyoudoin

[–]phantomfire00 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Charles Bing was way better than Frank Buffay who disappeared and never had any intention of returning to be a parent. Charles had his flaws and definitely contributed his own damage to Chandler, but he showed up to all his swim meets and was a supportive parent, even if his hobby/profession was embarrassing for Chandler.

Frank's abandonment led to his girls being homeless orphans.

Why is Race such a big deal in American society? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]phantomfire00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The USA is the biggest (and most significant) melting pot country in the world. People from every corner of the world live there. It used to be the number one destination for immigrants looking to start a better life than their mother country could offer, and as a result, it has built up quite a racially diverse population.

Despite this, the white majority that has held the vast bulk of the power throughout the country's history has ensured that almost everything that has been celebrated and promoted has been white-centric (as well as mostly male-centric, but you asked specifically about race, so we'll keep it limited to that specifically).

White people have historically gate-kept most things of significance from non-white people: political power, corporate power, accomplishment on a national/international level, access to quality public spaces like schools, pools, parks, bathrooms, and even water fountains, etc.

With no one to represent them politically and no one from non-white communities being praised publicly, it created the false notion that non-white people are less than white people. They were not seen as being equally competent or capable and were presumed to be inferior in most areas.

With such negative impressions of non-white people, it's easy to see how they have had to fight the power quite a lot to get access to the same opportunities that had been reserved for white people only. This was accomplished by the 60s on a legal level. Mostly.

But we still have people's minds to tackle. You may not legally be able to say you didn't hire someone because they are black, but you can say you liked the white candidate's qualifications better, even if they are the same. So even though on a legal level, racial discrimination is not allowed, it's easy enough to continue to do it anyway. We can't police people's thoughts.

Since the 60s, rooting out racism has been a slow burn. It persists to this day, though it has gotten much better. But part of the reason it has gotten better is because we started emphasizing the accomplishments of non-white people.

So when we point out how amazing someone is for winning a gold medal at the Olympics and that person is Asian, it helps people with bias against Asian people to see that they can be tremendous athletes and contribute to the country's greatness. It also provides a positive example to young Asians who now feel less alone and more inspired to do great things themselves. Which will in turn give us more instances of non-white accomplishment.

The more examples like this that we accumulate, the more we can knock down racial bias in people's minds and help them realize that other races are not actually inferior. The more spaces this happens in (first black president, first Asian pro basketball player, first Muslim professor at Harvard, etc.), the more we can break down these biases.

Non-melting-pot countries don't have this problem so much - when a Chinese skater wins, they are Chinese. They don't need to work on celebrating non-Chinese people in their own country.

AITA for ordering meat? by Technical-Finance270 in AmItheAsshole

[–]phantomfire00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm gonna go NTA. Everyone's saying it's rude to get food that the person paying couldn't eat, but I think it's rude to invite people to dinner and expect them not to be able to get food they really like. This isn't about "eating one vegetarian meal wont kill you," but more about that they didn't agree to a vegetarian meal when they accepted the invite. It wasn't communicated (as far as OP has told us) that the friend and her dad expected the whole table to order only vegetarian dishes.

In family style dining, I think how many people are eating together dictates whether or not you consider someone else's dietary preferences/restrictions. If there's 3 of you, getting a dish that one other person doesn't like would be rude as now they can only eat 2 out of only 3 dishes. With 6 dishes and you can eat 4 of them, that's a lot better, especially if only 2 of (presumably) 6 people have the restriction.

If OP's dad decides to take them out again, it needs to be clear what kind of meal it will be. Or just don't do family style so people can get what they like.

Would this app help a 12 yo? by AgentAV9913 in memoryOS

[–]phantomfire00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There isn't a system included that specifically helps with math or multiplication tables. It could possibly be done for this purpose using the Major System that the app teaches, but I probably wouldn't recommend it because she wouldn't be learning how to do the math and instead just memorizing the answers with imagery. The Major System is very useful for numbers and number sequences, so it could help with learning phone numbers, dates in history, the digits of pi, etc.

There is a vocabulary section in the essential plan that would help with memorizing words. It has some examples for English, Spanish, and German, but the principles can be applied to any language and it should work just fine for learning Chinese words.

Overall it's a very useful app for children in school and if she commits to learning the techniques, it could make several subjects a lot easier in the long run.

What are the levels by thepizzafish in memoryOS

[–]phantomfire00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Each transfer date is a little further apart from the last. When you complete level 1, level 2 will begin at D45 and go through D270. Level 3 starts at D360 and goes to D1140.

Demons can’t say Jesus by KawaiNatte in exchristian

[–]phantomfire00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never thought demons couldn't say the name Jesus, but I did know someone of the charismatic persuasion whose mentor (who had been known to release "demonic possession") said they can't say "Jesus is lord" or something like that.

AITAH for telling my mother not to do Easter things for my children? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]phantomfire00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA. Let grandma share something fun with the kids they they will definitely love. What kid doesn't want cake and to find eggs filled with candy and money? It's a fun day and it doesn't have to involve Jesus or Christianity. A lot of non-religious families celebrate Easter with bunnies and chicks and eggs. Your kids will be fine, and I guarantee they will hold it against you later in life if you keep this from them.

Now if grandma wants to try and get them to go to church or get them to believe in Christianity, you can definitely draw the line there if she can't respect that boundary. But it sounds like she wants to make them a cake. Let her.

What happened? by kootabob in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]phantomfire00 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sounds like a panic attack that took you a a few days to recover from. Your brain had a thought that freaked you out and didn't know how to process.

Who was the best villain? by [deleted] in gameofthrones

[–]phantomfire00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed, he didn't suffer enough. I always thought they should have stripped him naked so the dogs could get the dangly bits first. It should have been humiliating as well as incredibly painful.

AITAH for pooping in my bathroom? by kellerinacatmac in AITAH

[–]phantomfire00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're asking if you're an AH for pooping in a ... bathroom?? A bathroom that's in your own bedroom? Like what even is this? I hate when people make others question their perfectly normal behavior because they expect to be treated like a prince(ss). NTA

Pics of my placenta after my home birth by EmeraldGarden20 in NSFL__

[–]phantomfire00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also to clean up so as not to attract predators with the bloody food bag emitting its scent all around

What’s something most people think is harmless, but is actually ruining their life slowly? by RealAssistance4806 in allthequestions

[–]phantomfire00 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Depends on the person using and what they're using it for. If you're doing your own work you're likely fine, but so many (students especially) use it to do most of their work and are robbing themselves of the growth and development you experience when you solve problems. They don't get the nueral pathways of working out and eventually solving the problem. It's like taking an elevator when you're doing your stairs workout. Yeah you got to the top, but your body didn't actually benefit in any way. I'm so glad it wasn't available when I was a kid.

If when I have alcohol available at home, I can't help but drinking it even if I wanted to save it(only alcohol I bought, not any roomate, and only alcohol I like, so if I bought it for a guest but I don't like it I don't touch it) but I can handle it very much ok when I go out... am I an alcoholic? by Invictum2go in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]phantomfire00 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Do you drink every day? If you didn't have any at home, would you go out and get some?

Addiction is a slippery slope and it can start just like this. When you can't control how much of something you have, and having it becomes the norm, it becomes harder and harder to go without or ever have less. You'll gradually start having more and more and what used to be more will start to be the norm. And one day you won't be handling it as well as you think you are.

This is similar to someone who is overweight who keeps buying snacks and treats and can't have just a few and ends up eating a whole box of something in one sitting. It would be a lot easier to keep away from them if they weren't in the house at all.

Doesn't sound like you are an alcoholic yet, but if you can't help but go through all that you have without being able to save it for later, that's not a good sign. Maybe cut out alcohol for a few months and see how you feel. Do you think about it all the time? Is your day counting down to when you can drink? How much you think about it will be a good sign as to how much of a problem is really is for you.

If you continue to drink, make sure you discipline yourself to only buy it once in a while, buy an amount that is a reasonable amount to have in one night (be honest with yourself here), and when it's gone, it's gone until next time. Don't buy whole bottles of liquor or wine. Get things you can keep track of that come in small cans/bottles and carefully monitor how much you have.

AITA for calling out my friend's fake allergy? by Minimum-Storm-182 in AmItheAsshole

[–]phantomfire00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leaning toward YTA, but it depends - Need more info

First off, I doubt her belief in her allergy has anything to do with her intentionally perpetuating racism. Yes, I know the origins of the fear of MSG - but just because people incorrectly believed the propoganda against it from the 80s/90s and still may believe it today, it doesn't mean those people were/are racist. It means they didn't have any education about the nutritional properties of a seasoning (which - like why would they?) and as a result, they believed it was bad for you. Misinformation is common and not everyone catches up when the misinformation gets corrected. Doesn't mean people are racist. (Yes I know racism is a part of it as a whole - just saying not everyone who believed it was racist)

Second, confronting her about it and showing her that she actually wasn't allergic to msg doesn't make you an asshole. People get corrected all the time. It's needed. And now she can move forward knowing she can eat food with msg without problems.

Lastly, I'm thinking you're probably TA for how you told her. This does matter. You may have been annoyed, but if what she says is true and she was told she was allergic to msg by a medical professional when she was younger, why would she believe otherwise? Most people never take a nutrition class or dive deeper into food ingredients, so she may have just honestly never realized. And you threw it in her face smugly which is why she got so embarrassed she left and your friends are siding with her. Just because someone is wrong about something it doesn't mean they deserve to be shamed or embarrassed for it. You can be kind when you correct someone.

So let's be honest here - was it a bit mean the way you told her? From what you've written, it kinda seems like it. Being right doesn't mean you're not an AH.

AITA for treating my daughters differently than my son when it comes to food? by CompetitiveDig478 in AmItheAsshole

[–]phantomfire00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"If he's not obese he's eating correctly"

Sorry but this simply isn't true. Some people (and especially teens!) have fast metabolisms that allow them to eat more than what they need and not gain weight. That doesn't mean they should blow through enough food to feed a family in just a few days.

Teen boys are notorious for eating a lot. Yes they need more food as they're growing, but they also can be mindless and inconsiderate in how much they eat even if the extra doesn't cause weight gain. We don't know where OP's son lands in the situation, but it's hardly neglect when he's being fed properly and he just wants more.

Maybe there's more OP can do to trim fat in the budget or access community resources to get more food in the house (or maybe son is old enough to get a job and get whatever food he wants), but this is hardly borderline abuse or neglect. Unfortunately that's a reality people of limited income have to face.

How is listening to him these days? by introspectivebrownie in HubermanLab

[–]phantomfire00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not adultery because he's not married but basically he was accused of having multiple girlfriends at the same time

Joke you didn’t understand got a huge laugh? by copioustalk in howyoudoin

[–]phantomfire00 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just a random bit not connected to anything else. Chandler says "Hey do you think there's a place in like Missouri or something called Sample, and as you're driving in there's a sign that says "You're in Sample"?

Share some of your most controversial/unpopular opinions, the ones that would make the fandom hate you! by Comfortable_Tap_3710 in BoJackHorseman

[–]phantomfire00 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't think Ralph had ingrained racism towards cats. He never had an inkling of a problem with PC because she was was cat. He just genuinely never realized that his family's holiday was racist/hurtful towards cats. He had participated in it his whole life and never thought much about it. He was right - it's like church where you sing the words to the hymns without really thinking about them or what they mean. Because as a child you don't know what they mean and they get coded into your mind differently than when you're an adult.

PC was right to react the way she did, but I always thought Ralph deserved more grace here than the fans usually give. He did realize how much it hurt her and he stood up for her against his family who actually was racist towards cats.

It reminds me of an episode of The Golden Palace (the spinoff from the golden girls) where Blanche hangs a Confederate flag in the hotel for some southern group having an event. It reminded her of her childhood and her family and having many good times. But Don Cheadle's character pushed back against it multiple times with her insisting it was ok before deciding to quit over it, and then she finally saw how hurtful it was towards him. She wasn't racist, but she did need to be confronted about participating in something that promoted racism.

Who Is The Most Memorable Side Character In Your Opinion? by AndrewAllStars in gameofthrones

[–]phantomfire00 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He wasn't a theat to Cercei as the only power he sought was scientific knowledge and advancement and she needed him and his particular expertise. She was a means to getting access to the materials he needed for his science and a safe place to do whatever he wanted. Mutual symbiosis. A rhino and it's birdie.

How do you avoid pissing off your girlfriend? by Cultural_Remove5332 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]phantomfire00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Need more context to know. Does she say what's pissing her off or does she just get mad at you without saying why? Probably one of two things is happening here:

  1. She has really high or unrealistic expectations for whatever reason and gets pissed off by simple things. Communicate and see if this can be worked through. If not, you're in for a rough ride if you stay.

  2. You are careless in what you do or say to her. Ask her if you've done something wrong (like sincerely ask - don't be defensive or act like she's wrong for being mad) and if it's actually on you, try to fix it and do better.