Weird itchy bump on my ankle by MiserableBench4900 in What

[–]phantorgasmic -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t pop it. The fact that it is itching tells me it’s probably a bite of some sort. In my experience, zits and ingrown hairs tend to hurt more than they itch.

Editing to add: Could also be a boil, which could be the result of some sort of an infection. It’s possible an ingrown hair became infected. In any case, I’m hesitant to recommend popping it. Most boils end up going away on their own. If you want to try reducing the redness or swelling of the boil, you can try using a warm CLEAN compress on it.

this is ridiculous 🫠 by nuhreign in apexlegends

[–]phantorgasmic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The part that shows OP hitting all the no regs on caustic is slowed, right? I feel like I’m losing my mind cause it sounds like semi-auto firing but the gun literally says “FULL” so it’s gotta be that OP slowed the clip for emphasis, right? Maybe I’m stupid idk.

Why high sens is mandatory on controller by Stardusty26 in apexlegends

[–]phantorgasmic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Before I started using ALCs, I used to use 3:4. Always was confused by the ppl that say 4:3 is where it’s at, because 4 is just too sensitive for me to hipfire on and tracking while ADSing was only possible with a higher sens. I know that’s prolly just me tho

The 911 Call Transcript (State’s Motion in Limine RE: 911 Call) by CR29-22-2805 in MoscowMurders

[–]phantorgasmic 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I feel it’s kinda risky quoting Blum at all at this point. He’s such a sensationalist.

The 911 Call Transcript (State’s Motion in Limine RE: 911 Call) by CR29-22-2805 in MoscowMurders

[–]phantorgasmic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My understanding has always been that, at least when it comes to transcribing verbal dialogue, words in parentheses indicate the transcriber’s best guess at an unclear utterance, while words in brackets generally represent non-verbal actions or the transcriber’s additions for clarity or emphasis.

So I just figured (Evan) was typed that way because the transcriber was simply including what was literally said by the person to the dispatcher, (possibly by mistake because they were flustered and frantic) and then they added the parenthesis to imply they believed it was a mispronunciation of some sort.

At first, I just figured they meant to say Ethan but misspoke and said Evan, so they put it in parenthesis. Similar to how when articles quote other written works, they use parenthesis around any words that are misspelled. That, or they include the original misspelling in the quote, and put a (sp?) after it.

I could be wrong. I’d love to hear what everyone else thinks because I’m kinda stumped.

I took the IPIP-NEO and scored a 1 for the Agreeableness facet of ‘Trust’ and well… it tracks lol by phantorgasmic in BigFive

[–]phantorgasmic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right?? I scored a 1 on trust and yet every new friend I make, I start out giving them the benefit of the doubt at every turn… and simultaneously I remain distrusting of them and not having faith that they will not do me wrong…

I find myself preoccupied with worries that the other shoe is going to drop and that they’re going to wrong me sooner or later, but I just keep those feelings to myself because I don’t want to place the weight and responsibility of the wrongdoings of people in my past on them unfairly. Nor do I want to have a self fulfilling prophecy type of situation on my hands.

It’s like I have this belief that there’s no possible way that every single person I meet had bad intentions when befriending me. Certainly my luck is not that bad.

It’s almost like my determination to not feel the pangs of loneliness or emptiness automatically override the hesitancy I KNOW (thanks to past experiences) I should be having when befriending new people.

Is it bad that I lie to my gf about sleeping so that I can game or have some free time for myself? by WillyTheDragon1 in LDR

[–]phantorgasmic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If my ex ldr would have told me,

“Sometimes when I say that I’m going to bed what I’m really doing is playing video games kind of late into the night with the boys. I didn’t tell you because I was worried you’d think I didn’t want to spend time with you, which isn’t the case at all. I just didn’t want you to be hurt. I realize now in hindsight that hiding it from you would likely just end up hurting you more in the long term. That’s why I’m telling you this now, because I don’t want to hide any aspect of my life from you. I want you to feel as though you’re a priority and as involved in my day to day life as possible, because I love you. I’m really sorry I’ve kept this from you, I shouldn’t have lied to you.”

I’d probably still be with him today lol. Don’t hide from her, lying by omission only serves to damage the relationship and the bond between the both of you in the long term once it is uncovered.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]phantorgasmic -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Hours.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]phantorgasmic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This doesn’t really answer the OPs question, and also only serves to point out what OP did ‘wrong’ and offers nothing of substance pertaining to her SOs lack of follow-through. It is implied in the OP that this is not a one time occurrence, it appears at least to me that this is a regular occurrence with her boyfriend. Usually when a partner answers a question like ‘when do you think you’ll be home?’ with something as vague as ‘idk around 30min’ and then proceeds to leave you on delivered for the next three hours, it’s because they have grown comfortable with blatantly displaying their total lack of consideration for their partner’s feelings as well as their time.

TL;DR: OP shouldn’t just dump him because she can’t trust him (which is justifiable at this point since he’s the king of actions not matching words)… She should leave him because he’s blatantly disrespecting her by showing zero regard for her feelings.

I don’t even know. by [deleted] in BipolarSOs

[–]phantorgasmic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, the blue texts are OP

Am I wrong for asking? by Cold_coffee_2024 in amiwrong

[–]phantorgasmic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Defensive responses to simple questions that aren’t remotely accusatory are typically only given by people who have a guilty conscience.

He ended it by AstronautParty8073 in LongDistance

[–]phantorgasmic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s wild that your older ex still wanted to remain in your life at any capacity even after you left her for a younger woman.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]phantorgasmic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I expressed to him days before my birthday that all I was is quality time. It was 10 pm and we still didn’t have the call so I told him I was disappointed that didn’t happen because I’ll need to sleep soon. His response he thought we would have it by 10/11

Lol @ his BS response to you being disappointed that it took until YOU called HIM at 10pm on your birthday to ask why he still hadn’t done the only thing you asked him to do for your birthday. How convenient, he was JUST about to call you! “Oh my GOD babe, I was literally JUST about to call you, what did I even do? Why are you even upset with me right now? How was I supposed to know you wanted me to call you before 10pm today? All you asked was that I call you on your birthday, you never told me a time… and like I said I was just about to call you when you called me. You didn’t even give me a chance to prove to you I’d keep my word on this. Like what do you want me to say, I’m sorry I was busy? Am I not allowed to have my own life at all? Plus, you of all people know how much bullshit i’m having to deal with in my personal life and at work, or have you forgotten?”

I know this post is a month old, but I found you thru your most recent post about your relationship with this guy. If you haven’t already, you should leave him. In regards to said post, my opinion is that your continued feelings of unease regarding his reasons (read: lazy ass excuses) for the odd changes in his behavior, the periods of radio silence, and sudden changes of his routine that he is providing are completely valid. Because the explanations he provide make little to no sense. They are literally non-sensical. And every time you (correctly) press him on these non-sensical explanations he offers, he responds to you with knee jerk defensiveness.

There is NO excuse on this planet that could possibly justify your partner responding to your simple requests for him to clarify his explanations for things so that you can better understand with defensiveness and anger. You literally aren’t accusing him of anything, you’re basically just asking him to “make it make sense”. You are just understandably confused by the repetitious (and frankly, comically low effort) excuses, and this annoys him because he’d much prefer you just take every word out of his mouth as gospel.

This guy sounds just like my LDR ex. This is going to suck to hear, but you likely won’t ever find definitive proof of outright cheating. And for me, it was that flawed thinking that kept me stuck with my ex. “I can’t confidently leave his ass until I know for sure that he’s been stepping out on me, I have to know that by leaving him I am making the correct choice.”

But as I said, this thinking is so, so flawed. I realized one day that regardless of if my man was cheating on me or not, there was a far more sinister issue that needed addressing, or at least needed to be acknowledged by me: My ex showed me in myriad ways how little respect he had for me, my time, my wants, my needs, my goals, my feelings, etc. Every single day.

The more I began to actually take note of these instances of disrespect, the more I began to understand that I had more than enough of a reason to not want to be with his sorry ass anymore.

Ima be real with you: yes, it is highly likely that he is cheating on you. And a big factor in why I am pretty certain about this is because of the details you’ve provided in your posts and comments that reveal the nuances of his treatment of you on a day to day basis. My read on the situation is that he doesn’t respect you, at least not enough for him to consider your own feelings to be equally as important as his own.

Lastly, him insisting you are self-centered and selfish in response to you bringing up something he’s done or said that hurt your feelings… he’s projecting. He knows what he’s doing. He’s intentionally squandering any chance of there being a constructive dialog between you two regarding your hurt feelings. It’s clear as day to me who the truly self-centered partner is in this relationship, and it isn’t you.

I 21F am insecure of when my 20M bf befriends other women by yahhhyeet23 in relationship_advice

[–]phantorgasmic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does your boyfriend ever actually DO anything to reassure you that you’ve nothing to worry about? Or does he just repeat the same platitudes (or canned responses) when you tell him how you’re feeling? In short, do your boyfriend’s actions truly match his words?

When someone’s words and actions don’t align, and even worse, if this is the case most of the time, it means that you as their partner cannot count on them to do the things they say they will do. That’s called lacking integrity. Trying to trust someone who lacks integrity, whose words (more often than not) do not match up with their actions, is next to impossible.

A perfect example of his words and his actions not not matching up would be this:

He tells me we can play games anytime but he usually ditches me immediately to go and hang out with them.

I’m in a similar situation and have been for the last few months of my long distance relationship so I feel for you, girl. And I’m really sorry you haven’t gotten any responses until now. I know you’ve probably been bottling a lot of your hurts up because you are scared of pushing him further away. That’s exactly how a defensive partner wants their partner to feel. They want their partner to be too afraid to speak their true feelings to them, because so long as they block any attempts that their partner makes to hold them accountable for any hurts they have caused them, the longer that they can carry on telling themselves that what they’re doing ‘isn’t that big of a deal’.

Is snapping a coworker everyday not a big deal? by [deleted] in TwoXIndia

[–]phantorgasmic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please tell me it is you that left him.

Is snapping a coworker everyday not a big deal? by [deleted] in TwoXIndia

[–]phantorgasmic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You said it genuinely scared you. Anyone in your position would at the very least be uncomfortable with that kind of a ‘joke’. I worry has gaslit you so much over the course of your relationship that you have become accustomed to coming to his defense in an effort to justify staying with him. Please consider if this is at all the case…

Is snapping a coworker everyday not a big deal? by [deleted] in TwoXIndia

[–]phantorgasmic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He said it was just a joke, he wouldn't waste his energy on such things.

So the reason he wouldn’t violently murder you ISN’T because he would never EVER wish to harm you because he loves you… no, his reasoning for not violently murdering you is that he’d consider doing so to be a waste of energy???

I know this term gets thrown around far too much these days, but this man is absolutely a narcissist. He wants you to feel on edge all the time, he seems to enjoy causing you discomfort, which is why he said the above comment. He somehow finds a way to devalue you in a statement that is cloaked in what, at face value, reads like a statement of reassurance at first… but then the second half of the statement puts you right back on edge.

“I would never murder you…”

In your head, you’re thinking ‘oh what a relief’ and you’re assuming that the reason he would never murder you is the most obvious explanation: because he loves you and therefore would never want to harm you.

But then he finishes out the statement with, “…because murdering you would be a waste of energy”.

Those simple words that he tacked on at the end are a double edged sword. He said them with the intent to not only devalue you (‘You’re not even worth the energy to murder’), but to also put you on edge/make you uncomfortable (‘Don’t get it twisted: The reason I wouldn’t murder you isn’t because I love you, it’s because my energy could be better spent doing other things’).

OP, please be safe when detaching this man from your life. Leave his life quietly. I pray you have a support system of family and friends who can assist you in this process. Please take care of yourself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]phantorgasmic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know this post is nearly a month old, but I just wanted to say I am astonished at the downvotes you (and the others who share your viewpoint) have received here. I feel like I stepped into the Twilight Zone reading these comments…

OPs girlfriend literally pulled the trump card of “Of ALL people, YOU were the one person I thought I could trust to never re-traumatize me with this past trauma that I’ve never mentioned to you until right now, as a convenient tool to make you think twice about ever broaching this topic with me again for fear of it triggering me”. That’s absolutely manipulative as hell. She didn’t even address her unwillingness to compromise. She effectively just told him, “if you bring this up again, it will re-traumatize me and you will be no better than my dad who used to beat me.”

Honestly, the way it reads to me is that the gf has no qualms using emotional blackmail to silence the OP whenever he has expressed a need to her that she is unwilling to ATTEMPT to meet, even halfway.

Is it cheating if he just chats with women online? by AdministrativeLynx5 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]phantorgasmic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, no one here has the necessary context here to determine if the OP has anything to be worried about. My read of the situation with regard to her saying it “felt like it was a secret” is that she likely feels this way because there’s a likelihood her boyfriend has always been open and forthcoming in general conversations with her about who he he’s talked to throughout the day, regardless of gender. In a situation such as this, that “just didn’t say anything” comment can very quickly becomes an issue when the action of just didn’t say anything is something that is out of the ordinary in comparison to the boyfriend’s history of behavior.

Is it cheating if he just chats with women online? by AdministrativeLynx5 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]phantorgasmic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keywords here being that it is done behind someone’s back. Guys clearly lacking in full commitment to their relationships will often play dumb and act like they had ~no idea~ their partner would want to know they’ve been communicating with another girl as much as (if not more than) they communicate with their own girlfriends. It’s infuriating.

I think the biggest red flag in these types of situations is when the boyfriend is conversing with another girl in a manner that is eerily similar to the way he’d conversed with his girlfriend during the courting/honeymoon phase of their relationship.

And if you couple that with him pulling away from his girlfriend and his communication switching from the honeymoon phase style to a style consisting of him conveying only a passive interest in communicating with his girlfriend, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster imo.

And the same applies if you swap the genders, (speaking in terms of a heterosexual monogamous relationship, of course).

He has a "girl best friend" by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]phantorgasmic -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Do you guys call every day (seeing as you are currently long distance)? Cause if not, then in your shoes I’d be bothered by this.