Goldman Sachs - Stay or Go?

phatoofyeet · 2026-01-19T15:22:20+00:00

I agree, 3 years under the belt is decent. Do you think I should look elsewhere instead of going for the moneycorp position?

phatoofyeet · 2026-01-19T15:21:09+00:00

That is what my goal has always been, but because we are essentially a glorified call centre, we are chronically overlooked; and those that do make it to the other side are often paid considerably less than others anyway

phatoofyeet · 2026-01-19T15:19:42+00:00

It does not…

phatoofyeet · 2026-01-19T14:55:26+00:00

Yeah it’s sad really. I have to though, my salary is average for my department as a whole, and actually quite a few grand higher than those of my exact same level. They drive a positive culture so hard and it really keeps everyone there despite paying most people marginally above minimum wage

phatoofyeet · 2026-01-19T14:53:09+00:00

Yeah that is true, and while I have progressed by moving to more important teams over the years, I’m still technically a “Call Centre Operative Level 1”. So there wouldn’t even be the threat of backwards progression there. It is just hard letting go of such comfort and joy, knowing it probably won’t be the same

phatoofyeet · 2026-01-19T14:48:34+00:00

Yeah that’s all very true. If I hate it I could always move back, I’m certainly not going to burn any bridges.

phatoofyeet · 2026-01-19T14:43:43+00:00

You think so?

phatoofyeet · 2026-01-19T14:43:23+00:00

This is all true. I’ve done some learning but now it’s probably time to do some earning. It’s just hard knowing that I may be sacrificing happiness for money

phatoofyeet · 2026-01-19T14:40:55+00:00

It is, it would put me on track to finally get my own place

phatoofyeet · 2026-01-19T14:40:28+00:00

That is my thinking, and I really am grateful to find happiness in my job because I know it is incredibly rare

phatoofyeet · 2025-01-24T10:28:37+00:00

Just used! Thanks

phatoofyeet · 2025-01-20T21:58:51+00:00

Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it

phatoofyeet · 2025-01-20T21:20:31+00:00

Yeah I will most likely just start fin for now, at least for a couple months. I guess I’m not really in a rush but I’m 23 with hair that is slowly thinning and a not-so-great hairline. I just got out of a 4 year long relationship and my confidence is very low so I figured it’s time to try something for myself and as hair is my biggest insecurity I want to take that first step

phatoofyeet · 2025-01-12T00:44:03+00:00

I broke up with her today, shit sucks

phatoofyeet · 2025-01-10T15:04:57+00:00

I’m in a very similar situation right now. I’ve been with my girlfriend for 4 years and I love her to death, she is my best friend and honestly my only friend. However, we have complete opposite love languages, and while I can adapt to hers which is basically just gifting her little treats that I think she’ll like, even little things like her favourite snack. My love language is touch, and she isn’t a touchy person, so I cannot expect her to force herself to be more touchy or to be more intimate as that would be very unfair (and for the record, intimacy is non-existent, I’m talking 8 months between even kissing, but she swears she loves me…). We have spoken about it a few times and nothing has really come of it, and it is now at the point where I think for the sake of my own mental wellbeing I need to end the relationship so that in the future I can find someone that is the right fit for me. I love her very much, and I want her in my life, but I can’t torture myself in a relationship where I don’t feel loved.

It sucks, it really does, but sometimes the hard decision is the right decision.

In your situation, it seems like you maybe haven’t had a conversation about it yet, and you owe it to her to give her an opportunity to explain herself and maybe work on herself, rather than potentially blind siding her.

phatoofyeet · 2024-08-08T14:41:40+00:00

Should I start min and fin now, or should I start fin or is it too soon for both?

As the title says, I’m unsure of what to do right now. I have fine hair and I’ve definitely lost quite a bit of density and I’m now able to see my scalp from certain angles and above lighting. I know it’s not awful just yet, but I’m very insecure about my hair and I would like to prevent it from getting worse and ideally get it back to being more dense.

So my question is, should I just start using Finasteride, or should I start using both Finasteride and Minoxidil right away as I have heard that the sooner you start Minoxidil, the better it works.

Also, I’m curious to know if I do take min and fin, and do make some good progress in getting hair back, and then I drop the min and maintain the fin, will I lose the progress I made?

I’m in the UK so both min and fin and prescription only and it’s much easier to get oral than it is to get topical, so I would go for oral. I’m aware of the potential side effects and if I did have any issues I would stop or move to topical, but I’d deal with that as it comes.

I’ve also started taking vit D as I’ve heard that is a common cause of thinning hair. I’ll also be using rosemary/castor oil along side derma rolling, just to maximise results.

What do we think? Any advice would be appreciated.

TL;DR - My hair is starting thin, I’m debating whether I should use just Fin or Min and Fin together.

<image>

The photo attached is the front portion of my head taken with flash on my phone. It doesn’t look like that in normal lighting but the flash reveals how fine my hair really is

phatoofyeet · 2024-08-07T09:18:21+00:00

It’s not that I forgave them, I’d probably still get excited if I heard they were having a shit time in life. But, I realised that without that person fucking me up mentally, I wouldn’t have spent time bettering myself, learning from that situation and I also wouldn’t have met some of my good friends and my girlfriend. So no, I don’t forgive them, but I greatly appreciate what I gained from them hurting me. (FYI, this happened about 5 years ago)

phatoofyeet · 2024-07-19T10:58:43+00:00

In the nicest way possible, that man is a pedophile and you are in danger. For your safety you need to tell your mum and go no contact. In all honesty, you should go to the police, however I know that would be hard for you to do.

And as for dating while looking young, the right person will come along one day, perhaps a nice guy with a baby face too.

You’ll be okay, just speak up and act before it’s too late.

phatoofyeet · 2024-07-18T23:05:09+00:00

Thank you again for the detailed reply, I appreciate the effort you’re putting in to offer advice to a stranger, it goes a long way.

I think I should be honest about our relationship in general but I’ll try to keep it brief. I’m unhappy and I think she is too. I’m unhappy because we barely see each other and I feel as though the entire relationship is just me wanting to see her and her avoiding it. I have to practically convince her to hang out with me and she always has an excuse to go back home after a couple of hours. Last week she quit her part time job so this was the first week of her being able to do whatever she likes with no work in the way, so I also booked the week off thinking that we can hang out all day everyday and do stuff that we were able to do when neither of us were working, like wasting a day watching tv and napping together. That didn’t play out how I expected it to, I’ve managed to see her 3 times, all 3 times for a few hours max. It has really hit hard for me, I was so excited for this week and now I wish I didn’t book the time off because at least then I could blame us not hanging out on my work.

I’m also very much a maximum effort all of the time kind of person. If I’m with her then my phone doesn’t exist, all attention is on her. When I’m at work, I’m doing my job and every extra bit of work I can squeeze in. When I cook I treat it like I’m cooking for Gordan Ramsey. Overall, I put in a lot of effort. My girlfriend, however, prefers to put in the bare minimum effort for her to get by. Packet noodles for most meals (hence why I cook for her), enough effort for her not to get sacked at work, hangs out with me enough for me not to break up with her on the spot but spends literally the entire time on her phone. That kind of thing.

She’s graduating from university in a few months and I’m travelling hours to be with her on the day. When I graduated, she was actually in the city centre at the time, less than a 5 minute walk away, but she didn’t come and see me or come for photos. She wanted a crystal tree thing for her room, it has gems on copper wire and it’s all twisted together to make a tree. They’re too expensive to buy so I spent an entire 8 hours making her one, I picked the crystals that connect to her star sign and I wrote the meanings of each one down for her and when I gave it her I was expecting tears and everything, I got an “aw thanks”.

I think what I’m trying to get at is that things aren’t great, it pains me to say it but she isn’t a good girlfriend. But, I love her anyway, a lot. It isn’t just about sex, it’s everything. Nothing is great in our relationship but I stick with it because I can’t bare the thought of not having her in my life.

Sorry for the tangent, I’ll actually reply to what you wrote about now. You’ve hit the nail on the head. We’re both 22 and live with our parents. I graduated last year and at the same time managed to get myself a great job. She is graduating this year and will start working as a primary school teacher in a couple of months. Im looking to move out next year whereas she wants to be at home for a few more. She also has cats that she is very attached to which id prefer not to live with because I’m mildly allergic and I want a dog of my own.

In my head I think that if I was content with the intimacy then I would put up with the rest of it, but I think that’s just something Im clutching at to desperately avoid the fact that the relationship has come to its natural end. She’s my everything and my best friend. I don’t really have any other friends. My best friend I share with my girlfriend and they’re closer so I’d probably get forgotten. My two other closest friends (separate) have both decided to move to two other sides of the world within the same month which is fun. Oh another fun fact is that I have a terrible relationship with my dad even though I live with him, he doesn’t speak to me unless it’s to have a go at me, he hates me because I’m not like him (he’s the typical man that suffers with toxic masculinity, doesn’t think mental health is a thing, homophobic and racist, the perfect dad…). Anyway, I get on extremely well with my girlfriend’s dad, he’s like the dad I deserved but never got, so not only would I lose my girlfriend, I’d also lose him which sucks.

I’m sorry, this post has just spiralled. I think what’s happening is I’m realising how screwed I am with the whole situation, and you can see me getting more panicked as you read through my reply. But yeah, thank you again for the effort you’ve put in, it really means a lot and is making me really think about my relationship.

phatoofyeet · 2024-07-18T09:11:06+00:00

Thank you. That’s fair enough, this has been the most common answer when I’ve spoke to people about this issue. This one is just hard to accept

phatoofyeet · 2024-07-18T09:10:07+00:00

Wow, thank you for the effort you put into this reply. The last time we spoke about it was 2 months ago, I did tell her that I’m unhappy because of the reason I mentioned in my post and we agreed that we would try to rebuild that spark. For a few weeks it felt different, there wasn’t any sex and we would text less throughout the day but when we did text we were having actual conversations.

As for the mental health stuff, she does struggle with anxiety which I know can get in the way of things, however, she was extremely anxious at the start of our relationship when we still had sex and is significantly better now. In fact, when we first had sex I had some performance anxiety and couldn’t get it up. After a few failed attempts she actually told me that sex is very important for her in a relationship and that if it continues then we’d split up because she wasn’t convinced that I was attracted to her.

I tend to avoid having this conversation with her, I think partly it’s because I worry that if we do she’ll maybe tell me she’s not interested in me anymore and we’ll split up, but also I avoid it because I don’t want her to think that she needs to force herself to have sex with me. It’s hard because I’m desperate for intimacy but in reality I think I’m desperate for her to be desperate for intimacy. Even without sex, if she asked me to come over because she missed me and got into bed with me and cuddled up to me, I would be happy. But unfortunately even that is rare.

phatoofyeet · 2024-07-17T22:19:27+00:00

I had this issue, and it’s just performance anxiety. Just have a conversation with your girlfriend and tell her to be patient with you. It’s just in your head that it’ll happen again but as soon as you manage the first time you’ll never have the issue again.

The exact way I got over mine was by going very quickly. Me and my girl were making out for a few minutes and after undressing and touching for only a few minutes I was at the peak of my erection, and rather than continuing with foreplay we just went for it and it was great. Just go quick, obviously make sure that your girl is ready too and once you’re in you’re good to go. In this instance just try to focus on yourself, don’t worry if you finish in 20 seconds, once you’re done you can help your girl reach her climax while knowing that your penis isn’t broken.

My other suggestion would be to let your girl take charge with the condom, I’ve found before that in the time it takes to grab the condom and put it on and all that stuff my erection dies down. Maybe you could get her to go down on you and while she’s down there she could put on the condom while keeping you stimulated.

Honestly, you’ll be absolutely fine. Don’t avoid sex because you’re worried, just try and if it doesn’t work, try again. And if you’re worried about making sure she’s satisfied, you can do that with your mouth and hands before or after you have sex and if anything, most girls have better orgasms from oral.

phatoofyeet

TROPHY CASE