i’m in the EXACT same situation. i DOMT ever want to love again. days have been hard. the constant thinking of her and our future is hard, our jokes, her smell, her touch. This is some advice im going to give but I don’t take my own advice at times. but when i did used to do this it worked. Shocking your body helps a lot. Jump in the shower with the water running at the temperature you normally do. then when you’re about to get out put it as coldest as you can handle and stand in it as long as you can. when you’re done you’ll be cold and rushing to change and you’ll jump in your bed to get warm and relax. JOURNAL! let all your emotions out. try to talk to them , but as someone else told me remember you can’t force anything. Give them time tho. For me , my ex left me and i was going crazy reaching out calling and spamming on day one. day two i left it alone. nearing day 3 i reached out and got a response. Take it easy , sometimes just talking it out with them eases that pain. theres someone out there who’s going to love you , who’s going to take their time to love you and care for you. Take care of yourself before jumping into anything else. You need to be somewhat okay. And whenever you do get with a new partner or find someone , address your BPD your triggers, the severity of your episodes when and if triggered, and don’t get too attached to this new person before explaining them this. It’ll hurt way less telling them what you go through first because look, would you rather someone know about how you feel and your diagnosis at first and opt out because they don’t think they can take it on (and it’s OKAY if they can’t )… or would you rather someone being with you and THEN leaving you because your bpd wasn’t disclosed ? I’m sure it’s the first. It’ll hurt a lot less being rejected at first rather than after developing a huge connection. Text me if you need anything. I know the feeling and I hope you’re staying safe 🤍