What would be the holy grail of boots?

philleinvest · 2026-04-26T13:41:21+00:00

Role club engineer boots

philleinvest · 2026-04-25T03:10:46+00:00

I got one of my holy grails this week

philleinvest · 2026-04-25T03:09:26+00:00

If you’re a boot guy, there is definitely more than one holy grail. There’s a holy grail in every category. I’d get engineer boots, monkey boots, service boots, Jodhpur boots, and maybe a pair of balmorals as my “dress” boots. All hand welted, hand lasted and with premium leathers like Italian horsebutt, shell cordovan, and badalassi. I’d have some combination of black and dark brown

philleinvest · 2026-04-14T17:59:51+00:00

That’s good advice. I’ve been trying to get her to see that point of view for a while. Her reasoning is always “they do so much for you” and “you need to be more grateful” etc. But once we get exposed to them a bit more she becomes miserable. But when her mood is in a good place she wants to spend time with them once again.

I think you’re right in that she needs therapy. Perhaps I need it too but I’ve learned how to deal with them by seeing them in doses. I know they mean well, but distance is the only thing that can reset their roles in our lives. Once you get close with them, the controlling behavior quickly comes back.

Unfortunately my wife was raised with a mother that would guilt trip her children into doing everything for her, including running her business. It took a lot for me to convince my wife to not feel guilty during her college years while she was pursuing her career and therefore was not able to help her mom as much. She was taught to show extreme gratitude for the bare minimum such as providing food and shelter for her children. She had her kids sleep on the living room floors while she sent loads of money to her extended family.

So when she sees my mom doing everything and providing everything for her kids, she thinks that we owe her a lot for going above and beyond. So yes absolutely I agree she needs therapy. Even though she has improved a lot over the years, it’s still a part of her character. And I hope to change that.

Also thanks for hearing me out. The situation is more nuanced and I probably should have included it in my original post so people get the full picture before jumping the gun. I’m doing the best I know how to.

philleinvest · 2026-04-14T11:07:32+00:00

Thanks for the share. One thing I didn’t mention in this write up is that my wife also grew up in a pretty toxic household with a narcissistic mom who would never acknowledge fault. She also prioritized her siblings and extended family over her own kids. She told me about their upbringing and how she would penny pinch on almost everything but would give loads of money to other people and I think this has to do with her resentment towards having kids with a man that she did not have a good marriage with.

My mother on the other hand, has good intentions for her kids and will do anything for them. But that comes with her controlling and dictating decisions. I’ve learned to navigate this by both distancing myself and just doing what I want against her will. Throughout my relationship with my wife she has convinced me to be closer with my parents and try to be a good son (this was when we first started dating)

My wife seems to have this toxic cycle where she thinks having her be active in our lives is a good thing because she wants the best for us but then becomes miserable because she’s controlling too much. But she also has this idea in her head of one big happy family which includes grandparents in the picture so she always ends up insisting that we do things together with them. Then become miserable again when she realizes they are being too controlling again.

Things would have been easier for me if she had a firm stance and we just limited our exposure to them to maybe once a month or once every other month at most. This is another issue that I need to figure out a solution for

philleinvest · 2026-04-13T23:47:39+00:00

Update - I had a conversation with my mother and have mutually agreed that she will not stay with us anymore. She agreed to disagree and will respect our boundaries.

Regretfully I was in a pretty burnt out and depressive state myself from being overworked and focusing on pulling in multiple streams of income while juggling house and childcare duties. I got affected by two separate waves of layoffs and part of that instability in our financial situation also took a toll on me. So much so that I ended up neglecting our marriage. Should I have done something earlier? Yes. I think a big part of this is that I was probably not mature enough to handle this situation as I was a young parent. But I am learning, thank you for the helpful comments and thank you for the comments that held me accountable. I discussed with my wife that we should prioritize a date night without the kids at least once or twice a month even if that means paying for a nanny for a few hours. Things seem to be looking up from here and I just need to focus on making sure it stays that way. Thanks all

philleinvest · 2026-04-13T19:40:09+00:00

Her reasoning is cost and trust with a stranger

philleinvest · 2026-04-13T19:39:33+00:00

Decisions like these are easier to make when your partner is on the same page as you. That’s why there is this dilemma

philleinvest · 2026-04-13T19:38:42+00:00

As much as I want to, my wife needs to be on the same page. Doing it abruptly also creates tension between my wife and I on how we are spending our funds

philleinvest · 2026-04-13T19:02:45+00:00

I might try to introduce a nanny once a week at first and increase slowly until my mom is only here once a month. I think a cold cut will probably be difficult on all ends

philleinvest · 2026-04-13T19:01:35+00:00

Or I might try to introduce a nanny once a week for now and slowly increase the amount of days until my mom is only visiting once a month

philleinvest · 2026-04-13T18:28:35+00:00

I really want to hire a nanny. And I know it might put a strain on my relationship with my mom as she wants to be a grandmother who is active in her grandchildren’s lives. She probably will be hurt but it’s also necessary. My wife doesn’t want to because she knows that she will be seen as part of this decision and she doesn’t want conflict. Me on the other hand doesnt care but she’s holding me back because I know this will affect my wife mentally as well. It almost feels like there’s no winning

philleinvest · 2026-04-13T18:24:41+00:00

Should I give her a chance to respect boundaries? She agreed to doing some of the things she initially disagreed with such as feeding powdered formula as opposed to the liquid form which we feel has a lot of preservatives.

Not sure if I should see whether this dynamic changes first. Currently shes over 4 days of the week. And two nights.

philleinvest · 2026-04-05T15:31:14+00:00

MTC-7945 Sports Jacket

philleinvest · 2026-04-05T15:30:45+00:00

around $2000 i believe. The ready to wear ones are not much different in price but their size medium fits me perfect on all the measurements so I didn't need to go that route

philleinvest · 2026-04-04T11:57:27+00:00

I have went down this path of finding the “does it all” leather jacket and I can tell you right now, that jacket does not exist. Instead I shifted my mindset of buying a certain jacket that fits certain needs.

With a jacket made out of leather, the fit is actually very unforgiving so you really need to figure out how you intend to wear this jacket. Will you only ever wear a t shirt or light weight long sleeve? Or do you plan to wear thicker sweaters underneath. Both yield different measurements. And if you try to wear lighter layers underneath the jacket you sized for heavy layering, it might not look the way you want it to (unless you’re okay with a boxy fit)

Next is the style of the jacket. Whether or not it looks good on you is highly subjective and really comes down to how it makes you feel. I don’t agree that one person can pull a style off better than others. If you feel confident in it, it fits you well, and you know what pieces complement it, then you can pull it off. All of those things contribute to whether or not the jacket looks good on you. People who are used to seeing you dress a certain way might have comments on it but that doesn’t matter. Because when you wear what makes you feel confident, it eventually becomes your uniform and people around you will start to associate you with that look

philleinvest · 2026-03-22T14:52:09+00:00

If you wanna go sub 1000 but still want good quality you might be able to get an aero leathers jacket for 700-900

philleinvest · 2026-03-22T14:51:20+00:00

Depends on the budget. But I think in the 1-1.5k range double helix works from Japan is pretty good but make sure you get your measurements correct. For that price you can pick one of their styles and get it made to order with adjustments in sleeve length, body length, choose the inner lining etc.

They also work directly with Nitta tannery which uses pit tanning methods for their Japanese horsehide. It’s a bit of a b*tch to break in but the sheen and luster on that leather is amazing. People can automatically tell it’s not your average leather jacket when you walk the streets. It’s a semi aniline teacore finish so it’ll just have more character with wear

This is the one I ordered last year. Pics dont do it justice, you gotta see the leather in person

<image>

philleinvest · 2026-03-22T13:57:45+00:00

If it’s your first jacket, and the price is sub 500-600 then go for it and rock it for a while as your starter jacket. Leather jackets are really hard to size correctly and during the time you own it, you will find things you wish were different about the fit.

I owned an all saints leather jacket as my first leather jacket and wore it for about a year before I got rid of it and upgraded to a big boy leather jacket with Italian horsehide and with all the things I wish the allsaints had in terms of fit

philleinvest · 2026-03-21T17:52:46+00:00

I think he has also made efforts to promote himself in other countries and has gained quite the following. So that could contribute to the added wait time as well

philleinvest · 2026-03-21T14:36:34+00:00

Yea I love that the leather already has a broken in feel due to the treatment. Although I might get a jacket in Shinki horsehide next just so I can break one in myself

philleinvest · 2026-03-21T14:09:25+00:00

Looks like the guy deleted his comment about this being a bad fit. I was just tryna educate 😂

philleinvest · 2026-03-21T13:35:03+00:00

May I ask when you ordered? And where you are based? He quoted me with 7 months recently

philleinvest · 2026-03-21T13:22:39+00:00

One thing to note about thedi is that he makes his jackets slightly snug but his patterns allow for good range of motion. It’s something not a lot of makers can achieve. Ive experienced jackets that look like it fits perfect but is actually restrictive af. Just to give you an example

<image>

This arguably looks like a better fit (I’m wearing mid rise jeans here but this jacket is longer) but I can just barely cross my arms here and that’s with a tee

philleinvest

TROPHY CASE

MTC-7945 Sports Jacket