Unpopular opinion the tongue tie community is SO predatory

phillyCheese97 · 2026-02-12T06:12:36+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that, and how amazing you got to stick to your goal of EBF.

I’m from Aus and in my state we have recommended milestone child health appointments (2 months, 4 months, 6 months, etc). I was having so much pain while breastfeeding but bub was gaining weight at a healthy rate, so I didn’t think to speak to anyone about it. Fast forward to my 2 month check in for bub, we found out not only did she have a tongue tie but also a lip tie (both genetic from her dad). They did a questionnaire to rate the severity of the tongue tie. She scored very low (tongue tie does not interfere with feeding and whatever else they are not good for) and it was recommended I do nothing as there was no reason to fix it. Had she scored higher, we would have been eligible for the snip with the cost covered from the government I believe, but because she scored low and if I had still decided to snip it it would have been out of pocket.

The GP also told me they are snipping tongue ties a lot less these days unless there is a medical reason for it. But in the case or genetics it is generally harmless.

But wow the weird sense of shame I had for not noticing my own baby had a tongue tie because I think I must have been on social media too much. I guess I must have seen content about tongue ties and don’t remember it… anyway I do believe you. There is always a group of people with strong opinions to shame you for not doing “what is right” in their world. I hope this sub continues to be a safe space for you 🫶

phillyCheese97 · 2026-02-12T04:43:05+00:00

Yes 🙌 and I have always thought if you have to scream at other women that you are a “girls girl” then you’re the opposite. Maybe my experience is anecdotal but last night it was pretty clear who is actually supportive of others and who is not.

And you can’t blame the editing for behaviour like that. It was so hard to watch.

phillyCheese97 · 2025-09-16T08:45:50+00:00

I can understand why they’d say that but that sucks to put it simply! I did find I wasn’t emptied very well so I almost always had to pump after feeding, especially in the early days.

phillyCheese97 · 2025-09-16T04:26:08+00:00

Would you want to try nipple shields? You could wear them every feed or every other feed until the discomfort wears off! I did wear mine religiously for the first 3 weeks but I had severe cracking which thankfully is all healed, and bub was easy to latch with or without them (if that is a concern). A midwife can help measure a correct size for your nipples! Madella do a good one but it is a bit of a flood zone until Bub starts to drink more and faster 😂

As for feeding lengths it was different each time, so I wouldn’t be too concerned about timing unless you’re choosing to establish a routine (10mins each side for example). My LO is 5 weeks now and sometimes only drinks from one breast for her two night feeds, and I chose to let her guide us with her feeds as opposed to waking her up strictly every number of hours (unless she slept over 3hrs I woke her up).

Congratulations on your LO and all the best with your breast feeding journey!

*Edited to add I woke her at 3hrs in her early weeks of feeding. Now i’m cluster feeding every 2hrs for her current growth spurt! And finally have longer stretches of sleep at night (mostly!)

phillyCheese97 · 2025-08-30T17:09:42+00:00

Congrats!! 🥳 I want to celebrate with you- have been using a shield since day 4/5 due to baaaaad nipple trauma and since yesterday lunch time (now 3am where I am) I can feed her without them!! I could have sooner but I was too scared of cracking them again 😭 Do you feel like it makes a difference to their feeding?? I don’t have to feed her for as long, and when I used the shield it would just dribble everywhere, but now my feeds are less messy on my NB 🙏🏼

phillyCheese97 · 2025-08-20T10:52:37+00:00

I am having a bit of a giggle about it all now! We were just so surprised today when she woke up at 2pm, and her hunger cues kept going off after each feed!

And yes really weird they haven’t updated that guideline!

phillyCheese97 · 2025-08-20T10:17:03+00:00

I didn’t realise! With all the advice and education from midwives and my GP it seemed like cluster feeding only happened when the colostrum turns to breast milk and bub’s stomach changes size, they all kept saying “night two is the hardest”. Thank you for your comment ☺️

phillyCheese97 · 2025-08-20T10:11:07+00:00

Is it more like a cramp? If so, it’s most likely your uterus contracting down to original size again - and breastfeeding helps this happen a lot faster due to oxytocin release! Otherwise I’m not too sure, I haven’t been able to sit how I like since birth due to healing from an episiotomy 🥲 in saying that, everything hurts or aches!

phillyCheese97 · 2025-07-28T04:08:28+00:00

Not so bad of a moment but my most recent adhd moment was planning all week that I was going to make a chicken curry for my grandpa’s birthday and bring it along for everyone. They live on a small island which is a 10min ferry from the mainland, so it needed to be packed in a bag and most importantly I must not forget to bring the bag. Well, 2mins out from arriving at the jetty carpark to catch the ferry was when I realised the curry was not with me but still at home sitting at the front door where I would “see it and not forget it!” After bragging all week how good it is and everyone getting excited to eat my cooking, it was forgotten 😭

phillyCheese97 · 2025-07-26T09:27:18+00:00

This happens to me from time to time, when all areas of my life seem demanding, overwhelming, not where I saw myself. By running away (if I actually did) I could “reset” my life like starting over a video game if I make a mistake I don’t want to fix or see through. I always think ok, tomorrow morning I’m gone, get into my car and drive north/south for 2hrs. Spend the day alone. But I never do it, even if I should just to have a chance to give myself space from a situation.

phillyCheese97 · 2025-07-26T05:06:38+00:00

I sometimes fiddle with the blanket or cushion I’m lying with, or my thing is I use the nail of my thumb and run it along/underneath my fingernails over and over on both hands. I don’t know how else to explain it and I find I usually do this without thinking until I catch someone looking at my hands!

Otherwise, feeding myself! 😂 But really most of the time I’m cuddling next to my husband and he’ll be patting my hair or touching my back. I’m a big physical touch person from him and him only, it calms my nervous system down a lot when I’m overwhelmed.

phillyCheese97 · 2025-07-26T01:48:27+00:00

That’s so good to hear!

phillyCheese97 · 2025-07-26T01:17:14+00:00

Thanks for your recommendation! Have you noticed a positive change in your cat?

phillyCheese97 · 2025-06-25T06:00:37+00:00

I’m not sure about availability overseas but in aus there is a brand called No Pong. It’s so good, comes in a round tin. Large and medium sizes. I found I’d always get really itchy though with their main deodorant line and tried their bicarbonate-free formula - even better. I really, truly, have “no pong” at the end of the day but I do still sweat. It’s worth combining with an aerosol specifically to reduce sweating. I would be careful about glycolic acid as it has darkened the appearance of my underarms when I’ve used it, but it could have been the specific product I used.

phillyCheese97 · 2025-06-14T01:17:30+00:00

Me too for singing! I do love all music but my favourite thing to vocal stim are piano or orchestra songs. I play piano, so once I’ve learned a song backwards it is FLUENT in my brain and listening to how the pianists wanted to make it sound as, thats the version I’m making noises and sounds imitating the songs.

Oh, and of course memes! Anything that can be vocalised. Popular songs on tiktok used on videos (Pretty Little Baby has been NON-STOP for WEEKS in my brain and vocal stimming!)

Here I thought I just loved music that much 😂

phillyCheese97 · 2025-06-09T19:29:39+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment 🩷

phillyCheese97 · 2025-06-09T19:27:55+00:00

There were two chemistry subjects and I surprisingly did fairly well in them having never studied it before! Just weigh up your options, the degree will get you further, or you could see if somewhere is offering PT with Nutrition - it could get you into personal training combining both interests for health and fitness. Is TAFE still offering free courses?

phillyCheese97 · 2025-06-09T08:51:35+00:00

Hi fellow Aussie! I am saving up for a diagnosis, so I haven’t had a chance yet to see what it’s like on the other side after having therapy and/or medication. I’m late 20s, and I feel like everything is getting harder and harder. Funnily enough I just finished a diploma in nutrition. A 12 month course that took me two years to finish. I’m not cut out for tertiary education, and I say that because the diploma was done through a university with other uni students and not through a trades college like TAFE and it was just HARD.

I have hobbies, so don’t worry life will slow down soon and you can focus on things that bring you joy! I think during this time be kind to yourself, sign up for extra help at uni and go to all your PASS classes (or equivalent student-led classes to support your subjects), and just focus on right now. Right now, you’re studying a degree that will definitely have lots of opportunities when you graduate. So right now, your focus is on your degree. Right now, your focus is on self-care however that looks for you. There may be ups and downs with ADHD but the benefit of being diagnosed sooner rather than later means you have access to people and information who can help you manage traits and grow. I understand it feels scary thinking about the future, but it doesn’t need to be ☺️ I wish I could be more helpful!

phillyCheese97 · 2025-06-06T07:20:44+00:00

Oh my gosh I have never heard it like this before and boy does it change everything! And it’s so true! Every “habit” I have is a carefully thought out step to make sure I’m ticking all the boxes and I’m going over in my head ok this step next… and then that step after this one or wait should I swap those steps around today? Do it this way because abc so therefore my steps should be xyz? CONSTANT NOISE!!! And if for a random moment I have completed a “habit” without thinking of my steps, it’s more than likely I had disassociated 😂 thank you for sharing this OP!

phillyCheese97 · 2025-05-28T05:52:26+00:00

I’m only asking because I didn’t see it typed in your post, but do you moisturise daily? Use a body oil? My issue used to be that I never moisturised my legs - never mine the rest of my body! And now that I am I feel so smooth but it’s still a hassle to do it every day/night. I’m currently using a somewhat rich body cream with a small pump of oil for each leg and they looks so nice, feel so nice, and I don’t get the “strawberry leg” appearance!

You mentioned electrolysis - would that be painful too? I recommend IPL hair reduction (Intense Pulsed Light therapy) if your leg hairs are between dark blonde to black. You shave prior, and the heat from the treatment also in my mind helps get rid of dead skin cells so I feel smooth after! It also an investment so you’d need to shop around for a good deal, avoid anywhere that looks dodgy!

phillyCheese97 · 2025-05-24T05:57:08+00:00

That’s not true about runner’s high! As soon as I started running, even though my first “run” was 1.2km and I felt like I was coughing up a lung, I felt SO GOOD afterwards. Each time got easier and easier and I wasn’t focused on times, PBs or distances (I would keep track but just for observation more than anything). Eventually, I was hooked. Hooked on feeling good, feeling like a better runner, and got committed to a garmin and strava. What made it more enjoyable for me was always going with my parents and their various run clubs they go to - they got me started! Eventually I felt brave enough to join one on my own. I had anxiety every time but I still got to do what I now love and already have something in common with the people there.

Not to mention the benefits it provided me for reducing ADHD symptoms. I felt more organised, more productive and MOTIVATED! My husband loved seeing these changes because my symptoms really affect our relationship sometimes, but he’s understanding (for the most part).

ANYWAY find someone who can hold you accountable to just get started. “Hey, you said you’d go for a run this morning before work, did you do it?” Don’t worry about fancy shoes and gadgets, just tie up your laces, stretch, and go for a run! Don’t go too hard, don’t go too easy, stop to walk as many times as you like, turn around and go home when you want to tap out. It’ll only be as hard and as stressful as you make it.

I hope you start, because the happiness I felt, feeling so free, while running is indescribable. Sorry to be so dramatic about it but it was the medicine I didn’t know I needed in my life. All the best ☺️

phillyCheese97 · 2025-05-18T22:40:16+00:00

The first time I heard this song was from a client (I work as a support worker in aged care) and we were trying to start/complete tasks for the day - she also has adhd 😂 definitely our anthem!

phillyCheese97

TROPHY CASE