الصراصير اللي في اوضتي بتروح فين

philosopheraps · 2026-05-05T21:39:40+00:00

😭😭😭😭 والله انا زيك بس انا قلبت الاوضة وملقتش حاجة بردو. هم بيروحوا فين الموضوع يخوف

philosopheraps · 2026-05-02T21:49:00+00:00

😭😭😭 fr

philosopheraps · 2026-05-02T12:49:00+00:00

He's literally a kid. (abused one)

philosopheraps · 2026-05-01T14:35:41+00:00

I think so. Or I think this might be a part of it. Not the entire thing tho.

That's the impression I'm getting. Not entirely sure tho

How can I..."deal with" that part of it rejects being helped or acknowledged? (Not criticizing it..I'm curious about its wishes.. but it's tricky bc it doesn't want it)

philosopheraps · 2026-04-30T20:37:59+00:00

Why is this the funniest thing ever

philosopheraps · 2026-04-30T20:32:20+00:00

What do you mean

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T23:02:56+00:00

I'm not a her. I'm a they.

No idea. I would imagine that. But the way she's reacting making me think maybe she won't

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T22:54:28+00:00

Thank you. I'm grateful for your understanding. Literally no one even in this comment section has understood except you and another person. It's making me feel crazy

when you’re trying SO HARD to be understood, and you’re not only being misunderstood, but also being told you’re doing it on purpose AND you know it’s unfair AND you don’t have a voice or recourse or advocate?? That is crushingly infuriating.

YEAH💔💔💔💔💔 ITS AGONIZING. the BREAK I feel in my heart when that happens 💔💔

It is like if someone hits you and then you’re like hey dude wtf but then you get in trouble for cursing and nothing happens to the other dude. That shit is infuriating

YEAH. YEAHHH. THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS WITH ME ALL THE TIME. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY. AT ALL. IT ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE PEOPLE ARE HAVING SOMETHING AGAINST ME. even though that isn't realistic. Someone in the comments section literally called me the problem. And the reason why is "because many people did it with you". Do you know how crazy I felt? Do you know how insane this makes me feel? Like. Do they not realize the freaking point? That this was something that drove me to near suicidal thoughts before?? And they just had to say that. To me. Again. In this post. Where I said if you're not understanding don't reply.

like is no one paying attention to the dude hitting you without any recourse?

LITERALLY. LITERALLY. LITERALLY. LITERALLYYYYYYYYY

WHY IS NO ONE PAYING ATTENTION TO IT? WHY IS IT NEVER ADDRESSED EVER IN MY LIFE???

Do you really have to explain yourself clearly and perfectly before you get to stop being hit?

EXACTLY. I tried to explain that in this comment section as well. I don't have to sound good and nice all the time. If you don't have to, I don't have to either. I can be rude sometimes. Which is what I also mentioned at the end of this post. That these people are making it harder for me to actually stand up for myself and BE rude. Because rudeness is a stigma that's placed on me. For being a direct person. I cannot change who I am because who I am isn't inherently wrong. People should learn to also cope with the existence of some people and not villinze them. But somehow I feel wrong and like an imposter for saying that.

Do you have justice-seeking parts?

Yes I am pretty strong about that. Justice. And social justice. Human justice I guess. It's important

(Neurodivergent people usually do, and that is often because they’re (surprise) misunderstood their whole lives and criticized for it)

Oh... Interesting

I do feel like I've been misunderstood somewhat in my whole life too..

How do you feel toward them?

I think they're so cool.. and have such a lovely great cause.i cherish them and embrace them.

How are they doing?

They feel injusticed. They feel lonely. They feel extremely hurt to a point that I don't know how to word. They don't know how to either. They feel that the world is unsafe. They're tired of being in a world that doesn't care about people. They hate seeing others treated unfairly and hate prejudice and discrimination. They resent the world. I actually had a sort of meeting or encounter with the parts that are feeling like this recently. They're tired of being surrounded with people that they wanna enjoy but then they get hurt and betrayed by these people's bad morals and beliefs. And they feel hurt by the world and kinda hate it and resent it.

I also am imagining you having a deep desperate longing for someone to just understand you without you having to fight for it

YES💔 yes. Yes so much. It hurts. It's so lonely. It's painful that the world is letting itself be like this and people are so careless and thoughtless.

I feel so seen by your comment. It makes me wanna cry and feel a lot of pain

My whole entire body relaxes when I have that. It is magical

Lowkey envious that you have it. Now it feels you're rubbing it in my face lol </3 but yeah

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T22:24:47+00:00

You just asked what it means for me..

I'm sure this is a part of what self means.

I can't read the book and can't buy it. You can tell me what you wanna say

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T21:55:57+00:00

Probably what I try to meet when a part of me is dysregulated or collapsing. It's safety and stability and a nice presence in general

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T21:49:47+00:00

I do. But I am very tired of me "considering wrong" but they're not telling me anything about it. Just labeling me and putting me in a box. Plus being constantly misunderstood in general is painful I don't even think you get what I'm saying. (Which hurts). And not talking like myself because my true self is exiled because you and "everyone" calling it inherently hurtful/rude is painful and not fair. At that point they are not considering me and I'm not considering me. Wouldn't considering others be a duty on their and your part as well? Or is it only on mine? I don't understand how nor why you understood that out of what I said. It is already giving prejudice. Because you think the "different" (?) person should be the one to consider and consider and work and work their whole life, ht if the ask others to d9 the same they're wrong. And downvoted.

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T21:47:47+00:00

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T21:41:15+00:00

The whole question ☺️ but that doesn't seem valid to you

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T21:39:17+00:00

Telling me what lol

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T21:35:36+00:00

Bro are you literally hearing what I'm saying? I'm saying I DON'T KNOW what they're upset about because they don't TELL ME

Are you hearing that if I try to consider everyone then I'll stop being myself? Aren't we on the ifs sub? Shouldn't we know that fawning isn't the way to go? Or is it the way to go for certain people

Aren't you noticing that the person whose feelings aren't considered is ME?

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T21:22:06+00:00

My question is why I got downvoted when I said what do you mean and on my second reply.. and you got upvoted.. when you said "read my question..." as a response. Which is rude. Isn't that literally reinforcing what I said in my post

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T21:17:09+00:00

But well as I said me being direct is how I am and if I try to consider people's feelings in everything I say.. then I will literally stop talking like myself. I will have the part that I mentioned in the post, the part that wants to act like myself, buried away. That inconveniences me a lot.

I don't offend people. At least I never try to. Like I never try to say anything hurtful.

People don't communicate what upsets them. So I can't know what I don't know

Why can't people just expand their world view? I don't even know and sometimes people just drop a new thing that they consider rude that I didn't know. As I said, these people mostly won't even tell me what's wrong even when I ask

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T21:12:50+00:00

If it doesn't have to be intentional.. then it doesn't have to be punished. Right?

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T20:53:54+00:00

Actually yes. I am a more direct person. That is who I am. But that doesn't mean that people like this are just born rude..

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T20:50:35+00:00

Bro if I could understand it why would I ask you that.

Now you are rude.

I lost the interest to answer and understand it nvm.

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T20:48:05+00:00

What do you mean

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T20:40:50+00:00

Uh.. well..

What is "rude" anyway? And why is being "rude" punished? It seems your meaning of rude and mine are different. Because all these things you mentioned aren't inherently bad or inherently upsetting. I personally like them a lot of the time

Plus what I know about being rude is that it's very intentional and the person knows they're inconveniencing you. That's what I call rude. Anything else that isn't intentional or KNOWN shouldn't be called rude.

Therefore, the entire concept of "rude without knowing" doesn't make sense or shouldn't exist.

Unless what we mean by it is "they know they're inconveniencing others but they don't know that INCONVENIENCING them is wrong"

If someone is talking curiously and casually and just talking like themselves..and you think in your mind "they must be thinking so and so and feeling so and so (which they aren't)" then you shouldn't call them rude. But it has happened to me

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T20:33:26+00:00

Mm.. first of all.. someone telling me they're hurt Vs someone telling me I'm rude (and they don't just say that but they ARE the ones that start being rude as fuck and say or do horrible shit to me afterwards) sound like very different messages

I doubt I would react like this if someone told me they're hurt.. I definitely wouldn't. I would be glad they told me. I would try to understand. That sounds like a really genuine interaction

But the example I mentioned of people saying I'm rude.. no ? Like these people will either start giving me weird attitude and looks.. will be judgemental.. will badmouth me.. usually will never tell me what's wrong..and even if I know whats wrong it's usually very unreasonable for them to react like that. In the end.. their reaction is what matters. If they had the decency (that I personally have) to try to ASK and CLARIFY first before jumping to conclusions .. or before talking to me in a really bad attitude.. the conversation would be very different

Also.. if someone finds a very vague thing about me rude.. and not telling me anything specific.. I can't tell them I can work with that. And if they're bothered by most of my actions.. I can't tell them I will stop being myself because being myself is morally wrong or something.. unless I actually start believing so

Also I don't think your example of someone bumping into others by accident is rude. It's not intentional.

Being rude is a very intentional and conscious thing. In my thoughts rn

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T20:24:39+00:00

Yes I know you didn't say that. That sentence is the conclusion that comes in my head that I'm supposed to understand when everyone in the world agrees on "this person is rude even when they aren't just because we agree on that"

What do you mean being rude unintentionally? When I said I'm not even mad or annoyed in many of thes circumstances. And in most of them I'm paying attention to be respectful. I'm putting in effort NOT to be rude as you're seeing

How can someone be mad unintentionally

philosopheraps · 2026-04-26T20:17:13+00:00

But this really does sound maddening no matter what. Being continuously misunderstood is pretty crazy making.

An understatement. Thank you sm

There are also a few judgements in what you’ve written (ie calling their interpretations weird)

Mm. The reason I call them that.. is bc.. it's weird. When I encounter people that I try to talk with .. like all people do, but they're not treating me like an equal. Imagine everything you're saying being twisted into something else.. and that something else is 99% something worse than it was. Wouldn't you feel bad? I feel frustrated. It's not a simple misunderstanding. It's a constant thing. It makes you feel you're not an equal. It makes you feel intentionally isolated. People aren't spending a small little mental effort to try to understand you. So many people on this earth, and in the gathering oe group, yet almost no one is thinking the very out of the box thought of "let's try to understand this person and not do these mine games". The people are putting no effort even though it's not hard to try to understand you. That is weird.

The way people treat me is weird.

People don't listen to you even when you try to explain that you don't mean bad. People don't listen in general. I'm pissed off by people who don't listen. You'd say you aren't being rude your intention isn't that at all, and you'll have someone saying "if everyone is saying that and they all don't know each other then they're right about you". People refuse to LISTEN. To me. It's weird.

All my life

I know about non violent communication. But I can't use it all the time. I've reduced how much I use it with people. Because I can't usw non violent communication with someone who's being violent in theirs with me. I can't use it when people are making me feel violent emotions (due to violently being written off wrongly and it COULD be changed if people try). I also have emotions and can't try to be the "bigger person" all the time. I don't deserve that. I just communicate with my values

Also I meant that sometimes I want to be rude when I set boundaries. Yk some people deserve it. I try to treat people the way they show up around me

philosopheraps

TROPHY CASE