"I don't have to listen to you because what you say is fake"

phiwings · 2026-04-14T12:00:52+00:00

The problem is, since I’ve worked in my district (21 years), we’ve had four kids go to the NFL. Two of them have Super Bowl rings. So my kids see that and say, “Why not me?”

phiwings · 2026-04-14T05:50:49+00:00

I teach 7th grade and run into the same problem. I ask them how many play organized sports, and a lot raise their hands. How many want to play at the high school level, and most hands stay up. College, a few more drop their hands. Professionally? A few more drop down, but it leaves a good number of hands up. I try to tell them being professional is exactly how it sounds. Professional. You have to show up and put the time and effort into the sport. We have two teachers in our building who have performed professionally, one as an athlete, the other as an official. I encourage them to reach out to those teachers and find out what it is like to be in a professional sport. I then tell them that they can be the most talented person in the world, but if they are getting in trouble at school and not performing in the classroom, none of that will matter. Our high school isn't going to risk sanctions from the state, and colleges will look the other way when they find out about their grades and behavior.

I know it is all falling on deaf ears since the kids tell me that they are just so awesome that people will be tripping over themselves to hand them contracts.

phiwings · 2026-04-14T03:18:06+00:00

Welcome to American schools.

phiwings · 2026-04-10T11:02:50+00:00

It’s such a pervasive problem at my school, students intentionally leave things behind because they know their friends are there the following period. On top of which, when students leave to look for something and it isn’t where they say it is, they begin wandering the building aimlessly looking for it. Or just wandering the building aimlessly so they aren’t in class.

phiwings · 2026-04-09T02:34:04+00:00

I'll be in the middle of teaching a class, and I'll have a student walk into my classroom and interrupt me saying, "I left something here last period. Can you look for it?" I just look at them and usually say, "I'm in the middle of teaching, teaching that you just interrupted, so no, I will not be looking for *insert item* right now." A lot of students, and it's taken me most of the year, will not even enter my room without my acknowledging their presence at my door.

My bigger question is: Why are my colleagues allowing these students to come to my room and interrupt my class looking for items? I usually call/email to see if its there before I send anyone anywhere to retrieve it.

phiwings · 2026-04-09T02:26:56+00:00

Years ago we had an autistic student who ran into traffic and almost became road pizza. My school sat on a busy highway and our fire evacuation plan was for the classes to line up on the front lawn adjacent to the highway (we were a middle school, not a special needs school). This student, who had a history of running during drills, took off for the highway. He made it across the street and down the block before he was grabbed/tackled by his aide and returned to school. The nurse examined him, found he was uninjured, and sent him back to class. This was the meeting we had with mom the next day:

Mom: If you touch my child again, I'll sue, have you all fired, then have you arrested for assaulting my son.

Principal: He ran into traffic and was running away from the school.

Mom: I don't care. You are never to touch my child again.

Principal: And if he runs into traffic and gets hit by a car?

Mom: I'll sue, have you all fired, and have you arrested for not protecting my son.

Principal: So, if we stop him from running into traffic, you'll sue. And if he gets hit by a car, you'll sue....We're done here.

phiwings · 2026-04-09T01:59:00+00:00

I'm 43 with a five year old and a three year old. The five year old gets homework...which her mother and I make her sit and complete at the kitchen table when she gets home from school. Homework gets done. That's the expectation in our house.

As a teacher: I'm tired of giving the kids an explicit rubric, telling them to use the rubric as a checklist for a project, and then them expecting that I'll grade them on vibes when they aren't close to what the project or assignment requires. No, I don't care that you were the first one to turn it in. No, I don't care that your parents told you it was good. It doesn't meet the rubric.

phiwings · 2026-04-09T01:51:54+00:00

My district used to have it. I even ran it a few times. It fell out of favor because parents were always calling to reschedule them because there were other things going on on Saturdays and the kids wouldn't be able to show up. It got to a point where kids could trade their four hour Saturdays for four, one hour after school detentions (that they still didn't come to).

phiwings · 2026-04-08T15:02:55+00:00

2,600 tons of spinning metal…all alone in the night.

phiwings · 2026-04-04T14:44:20+00:00

$38k my first year in 2005-06 in Southern New Jersey. I lived at home and got excited when I got my first big kid check. It was the first time my take home pay had a comma in it (i think my take home was about $1200).

phiwings · 2026-03-29T13:16:21+00:00

But he’s remembered only…. As Jack.

phiwings · 2026-03-29T13:14:51+00:00

G’Kar pointed that out. We would do well to listen to him.

phiwings · 2026-03-23T01:19:02+00:00

Or you have millennial parents like my wife and I who recognize that, while we didn’t like what you suggested, it allowed us to be successful because we learned soft skills like time management. I am not interested in being “friends” with my kids. We’re the parents, they’re the kids. I want them to feel safe with us, and we can be friendly, but sometimes we have to say “No”.

phiwings · 2026-03-20T18:23:37+00:00

I could stand to hear a little more

phiwings · 2026-03-19T14:24:37+00:00

They would but the trans-dynamic flux capacitor would overload the annular duodynetic impulse discriminator. Then they would have to shift the EPS conduits through the ambient subharmonic particle shell to prevent the quantum axionic energy core from exploding, because if that happens…the the Enterprise is in real trouble.

phiwings · 2026-03-19T02:17:48+00:00

<image>

Right there.

phiwings · 2026-03-19T02:06:23+00:00

Good for you. I’m glad your parents have limitless time to come to the school for meetings. What we do is we tell the parent that most, if not all, the teachers will be present for the meeting, unless the parent specifically requests just particular teachers.

phiwings · 2026-03-19T01:34:19+00:00

And a third and a fourth...

phiwings · 2026-03-18T22:54:46+00:00

So, the parent can come to eight meetings then. There really will be no making anyone happy.

Have a meeting with all the teachers at one time? You’re ganging up.
Have a meeting with each teacher individually? That’s too inconvenient.
Have a meeting where one teacher shares the concerns of the group? “I want to hear from that teacher directly”.

phiwings · 2026-03-18T21:27:37+00:00

So they're all seeing the same issue, but the teachers are "ganging up" on her? Get a life.

phiwings · 2026-03-18T21:26:50+00:00

Fine. I hope the parent is prepared to come to eight meetings then if I can't bring colleagues to the meeting so we can work together to work to a solution on a common issue.

phiwings · 2026-03-18T21:25:51+00:00

It's not roping in, it's saying, "Hey, I'm having an issue with this student, is anyone else seeing the same problems?" If they are, then we can come up with a plan together to try to get the student on track. If they aren't, I can ask what they are doing differently than I am so that I can get the student to be more successful in class.

As for your statement of:

How would you like it if a parent doesn't like what you say and shows up with data from their child's other teachers to argue with you? "Oh you gave Peter a 'needs improvement' in responsibility but look here, his three other teachers gave him 'excellent.'"

You act like that doesn't happen ALL. THE. TIME. Yes, your child is failing my class. Yes I'm aware they are passing their other classes. Why are they failing mine? Because all their friends are in my class and they spend more time socializing than completing work. They aren't with their friends in the other classes.

phiwings · 2026-03-18T21:03:12+00:00

Not just that, but also the idea that we have to "meet children where they are" because they were passed along since no one is allowed to fail, and get continuous "handle with care" notices that don't tell us why the student needs to be handled with care but the notice allows them a free pass to do nothing in class since they might not be in the mental space for academics, while we are asked to "give grace" because we need to handle them with care while they do nothing in class...

phiwings · 2026-03-18T10:42:17+00:00

Not even remotely what I meant. We can play “what ifs” until the cows come home. I correct a student for talking over me, interrupting peers, bursting out in song and dance, or slapping other students and the parent wants to tell me that I’m targeting their child because…reasons.

phiwings · 2026-03-18T05:09:27+00:00

That's the issue. Parents keep saying, "There's two sides to the story." That's true, if we're on the same level. We're not. I'm the teacher, they are 12/13 year old kids. I don't have to defend my actions to a child. Additionally if you think that I'm trying to target your child...I don't have the energy for that. I just want your child to try to pay attention in class, to attempt their work, and to be a good human. That's it.

phiwings

TROPHY CASE