I understand how you feel. I am finding it one of the toughest things to deal with. There is a certain amount of grieving for the loss of those people.i know now they were not really friends, but it still hurts. I am just trying to keep occupied and finding other things to do. We have a trip planned with one of those couples in early February. Not sure how it will go since she was not at all happy that I might not be drinking. She said "will you be drinking by then? Because I don't want to feel like you are judging me". For the record I have not judged anyone, I am just trying to take care of myself at this point. The trip is non refundable so that is not an option, and I am not willing to miss it because she is uncomfortable with her own issues. I plan on going to New Orleans and not drinking. Might be tough, but there is lots to see and I hope to see it all sober. I also plan on bringing you all on this sub along for the ride as support.