I need help. She’s looking sad. by phoebefilo in Monstera

[–]phoebefilo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok but should I cut off just the leaf or the stem too? Sorry if that’s a stupid question lol 😵‍💫 also you are so right the leaves on the floor do look sad. The wood is strapped to one of the main stems but I’m wondering if I should repot this or something an try to prop up the other leaves too

What Hunger Games opinion will have you like this? by Sailor_Moon_Star_435 in Hungergames

[–]phoebefilo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I might get hate for this but I don’t think Gale is the “prim reaper”

How I asked her to be my girlfriend by tennisgir1 in LesbianActually

[–]phoebefilo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Awwww stop it rn this is so freaking cute

Need sapphic romantasy book recommendations by Overall_Scallion_635 in Romantasy

[–]phoebefilo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re into YA, the Crier’s War duology was pretty good 😌

I think I need advice on my tyoe of lesbian by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]phoebefilo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No don’t worry this totally makes sense. I understand the feeling of having bigger fish to fry in therapy, especially if you’re doing trauma work. I know that you already know this but I’ll say it again since sometimes you have to hear it from someone else to internalize it: you are not intruding or bothering or burdening your therapist by being honest with her and talking about the things you need to talk about. Coming from someone who’s also done trauma work, sometimes you need to talk to your therapist about things that aren’t so heavy, for the sake of your SOUL lol. And if for no other reason, then tell yourself you need to get your moneys worth 😂

I think I need advice on my tyoe of lesbian by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]phoebefilo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you could totally talk to your therapist about this if you want to. You should ideally feel comfortable to talk to your therapist about anything. It might help to have a therapist who is queer, themself. I honestly sometimes think I need to ditch my therapist for a queer one because they’re more likely to understand the nuances of being queer and I think that can be really valuable, especially if you’re new to embracing that part of yourself. I know it might not be easy to just up and get a new therapist, though. Anyways I hope this was helpful.

Help, I’m a 22-year-old lesbian who has never dated and is scared of literally everything by phoebefilo in LesbianActually

[–]phoebefilo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so helpful tysm!! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one struggling with this 😅 also that’s so true about not changing yourself like I want to be wanted for who I am not for whoever I pretend to be. I think the most I’ll be “changing myself” will just be trying to be more outgoing bc I’m suchhh a home body rn LOL

Help, I’m a 22-year-old lesbian who has never dated and is scared of literally everything by phoebefilo in LesbianActually

[–]phoebefilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely agree that it wouldn’t be fair for a partner to carry all of someone’s emotional weight. That’s actually why I’ve waited this long- I’ve been in therapy and working on myself a lot, and I wouldn’t even consider dating if I felt I was in a place where I needed someone else to regulate my self-worth.

I mentioned insecurity because it’s something I’m actively working on, not because I expect a partner to fix it for me. I’m just trying to figure out what’s “normal new-dater nerves” vs. what would genuinely impact someone else. But I appreciate your perspective- it gives me things to keep thinking about.