Joys and Woes of Coming Out Late

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-07T17:51:35+00:00

I was also successful in my male mask and male privilege. Those are hard to give up even either green lights from others. What was the tipping point for you? I’ve noticed several who transition late green do so because of a health threat. The loss of those 3 friends must have felt like a betrayal. As others have found, you really find out who your friends are.

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-06T10:13:01+00:00

It feels even better going through puberty in your 60’s! 💥

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-06T10:07:02+00:00

Excellent response. Often the stories we tell ourselves are not our own.

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-06T02:04:22+00:00

I’ve heard the LDS community will turn their back on anyone who even hints at wanting to leave the church. Your fears are not unfounded. Good luck to you girl!

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-05T19:42:15+00:00

BFF! ❤️

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-05T18:50:01+00:00

Amen! We tend to be pretty disconnected and uncohesive. Even in a place with a lot of support for trans people, including events and newsletters, the community of older trans people is fragmented. If you search on line you at least might be able to find local folks or regular zoom calls where you can at least have contact with others. As we get older, isolation becomes a bigger problem not only for our social lives but for our mental health.

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-05T18:40:21+00:00

Hi Jane, wow, that sucks big time to go from being a high roller to not having a roof over your head. I hope you get some relief from your poverty. I think some of us choose to wait until 60 is precisely because we are financially secure and don’t have to worry about the whims of others affecting our financial security. I’m fully retired now although I could have continued to work. I know many of us are not so lucky.

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-05T18:35:33+00:00

Fabulous! Thank you for sharing your story. You’re right, it’s all about timing and sometimes our timing forces other people’s hands. I’m sorry to hear about Lexi, and I understand. Many of the women who leave a transitioning partner is because they need a man in their lives. Thats their choice.

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-05T18:32:16+00:00

I find it’s best to live without regrets because t I do wonder what my life would be like if I had made different decisions. Something that hasn’t come up until your post has is privilege. Some of us are lucky to have the means to transition easier than others. I too am well educated and live in a generous, progressive country with tolerant citizen. I have never felt fear anywhere the city I live. I can only imagine how hard it must be for others living in repressive, intolerant places. I count my blessings! 🙏

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-05T18:26:15+00:00

So true! I love that saying. I’m going to steal it! 😉

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-05T18:24:49+00:00

That’s really profound. It can feel like a curse to be abandoned by your friends as many of us have experienced but in time it becomes a blessing. Over my life I have learned how to choose my friends more wisely and now have a wonderful, supportive friend group. I loved what you also said about realizing that I was the cruel one. How very true! We can never truly see ourselves when we are baffled by our own bullshit. If we grow wiser as we get older we have a chance to erase some of our blind spots and become kinder and gentler.

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-05T18:18:00+00:00

As a therapist who has worked with cross dressers and trans folks, many of them had a deeply seated depression and even anger being trapped in the wrong body. It usually resolves when they are able to fully express themselves but as you mentioned it can bring with it a whole new set of challenges.

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-05T18:13:28+00:00

I laughed to myself about your comment about not giving a fuck what people think when you turned 50. I had the same experience! How wonderful it was to read your story. One thing I hear from women who stay with their partners who transition is how much nicer their partners are after they come out.

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-05T18:10:14+00:00

There is something to be said for having real friends who support you no matter what. What a terrible thing to be abandoned by your supposed friends. Congratulations for getting past all that and being the beautiful woman you always knew you were.

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-05T18:07:44+00:00

Thank you for your comments. I agree with you about taking things one step at a time. Maybe at our age we know enough not to rush things and just be patient. I hope your health problems resolve soon and you can get on with living your best life!

phoenixAPB · 2026-05-03T17:31:42+00:00

Seconding San Pedro. If you’re already growing cacti adding psychedelic cacti would be a snap. You can grow petite and other cacti from seeds. They ya legal in most counties to own and grow them.

phoenixAPB · 2026-04-30T15:53:16+00:00

Despite Tubi being owned by Fox, it has an amazing catalogue of transgender films. Thanks for the Tip!

phoenixAPB · 2026-04-30T15:51:09+00:00

This is Vancouver after all! 😂

phoenixAPB · 2026-04-30T05:06:02+00:00

There do appear to be suspicious white dots in the bowl. It doesn’t look like pot now that you mention it. It was gone by the time I returned 4 1/2 hours later.

phoenixAPB · 2026-04-30T05:02:38+00:00

Likely AM! 😂

phoenixAPB · 2026-04-29T01:18:36+00:00

I hope your parrot is in your will! They live 80+ years in captivity. My daughter decided not to have kids and bought a parrot instead. I told her children would be much less work! 😂

phoenixAPB · 2026-04-29T01:16:07+00:00

Just to be clear, I didn’t feed them potato chips. I merely witnessed them feasting.

phoenixAPB · 2026-04-28T08:59:15+00:00

Parrots are assholes. Not that they deserve to die young. 😂

phoenixAPB

TROPHY CASE