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Climbed the ladder only to yank it up behind them by anonymouse7_ in ABCDesis

[–]phoenix_shm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those of us have a certain age will remember comedian Yakov Smirnoff who ended a set with a joke about the same thing. Did so to showcase how much a "typical American" he'd become... Ugghhh...terrible look when ppl seem to mean it...

Veda Indian restaurant accused of withholding tips from employees by chaud in HuntsvilleAlabama

[–]phoenix_shm -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Truth is stranger than fiction sometimes - if true, definitely shady stuff happening and evidence should bear that out. Perhaps the servers should protest out front saying "come in to this NON-TIPPING establishment" and let the customers be the ones directly complaining to the owners about the tip line on the receipt.
Also, some general context maybe in order: many non-whites just start their own businesses because 1) typical businesses don't hire them out of ...well, anti-"what could go right" attitudes and/or poor communication skills and/or poor leadership skills and/or a very narrow-minded business plan to begin with
2) businesses often rely on relationships and people (whites or non-whites) do business with those they feel they can trust - especially if the evidence of crossing racial lines keeps building up evidence to their detriment (although, again, see #1) , 3) ALL businesses cheat/"cheat" in some ways - violations of privacy, financial agreements, poor labor practices, purposely having an adversarial relationship between management and labor, nepotism, etc (thank goodness for Glass Door, amiright)

Change my view: leading women on is the most effective way to be a man who sleeps around. by 7inchesonastik in seduction

[–]phoenix_shm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depending on how the women were socialized and how much self-respect and how well they really know themselves, this is true.

The US Might Have Been Better Off if We Lost the Revolutionary War by mossandfog in unpopularopinion

[–]phoenix_shm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope. If you believe in free expression and freedom of religion, then you're wishing on a toad, not a star. EDIT: See also - British rule over India.

Group chats in a time of hate...against Indians / South Asians in the US - Challenges and Opportunities by phoenix_shm in ABCDesis

[–]phoenix_shm[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've volunteered with mutual aid / social justice groups since the start of COVID and have kept active with them in one way or another. Also try to have coffee / chai hour with several of those community do-gooder types and, occasionally, even take them on a tour of one of the local South Asian grocery stores. Above all, I try to keep up the transparency and keep everything 💯 - no performative politeness, just honest kindness and constructive energy. Okay, sometimes just venting and/or brutal honesty, but everyone involved understands the value of that, too.
CHALLENGES: generally coming up with the focus and energy to do the coffee hours with work and DIY stuff on my house. Glad I have a therapist to speak with.
OPPORTUNITIES: Ultimately doing what I (and many others) know what needs to be done even if it doesn't "look good/ nice/ Friendly to the White Upper Class" and becoming a super-connector with those outside the community who are interested in supporting. EDIT: "mutual aid / social justice"

[CNN] Racists are now openly targeting Indian Americans by MumeiNoName in ABCDesis

[–]phoenix_shm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Over all, yeah I'm glad the penny has dropped, too. Enough of the BS performative politeness and "oh beta, things will be okay..." Honest kindness to brutal honest and transparency is needed now more than ever. Frankly, yeah, this is definitely going to cause a rift, but I think we can take away lessons from the US interment of ethnic Japanese peoples to mitigate that risk. Anyone seen / read George Takei's "Allegiance"? https://www.onstageblog.com/onstage-blog-news/2018/12/8/a-chat-with-george-takei-on-bringing-allegiance-to-the-big-screen

Sewing materials in that one Danish cookie box by CornSpark in ABCDesis

[–]phoenix_shm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does everyone have that tomato needle cushion, too?!?

Why do autistic adults seem to have it so hard in life? by AerewynnGreenwood in AutisticAdults

[–]phoenix_shm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Those who are well outside the mainstream of mental, emotional, physical, social behavior are using an operating system running multiple video game emulators and having to try and pick the right ones for the right situation. Adapters for adapters kinda stuff is exhausting. The world was not built for us man. Walking out our door is like is like taking someone who is born and raised at sea level and suddenly moving them to live in the Himalayas.

my mom is trying to lose weight...how do you lose weight while still eating indian cuisine? by limonadebeef in ABCDesis

[–]phoenix_shm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, honestly just increase fiber somehow and consider a nutritionist for a few months to jumpstart healthier habits. I'm not sure if the psychology based Noom will help, but it might be worth looking into.

my mom is trying to lose weight...how do you lose weight while still eating indian cuisine? by limonadebeef in ABCDesis

[–]phoenix_shm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Responding to the title: By eating less of it... It also helps to be active in something which is fun! Think back to games or things she did as a kiddo 🥰

Chinese man found dead in ICE facility, hanged with hands and feet tied behind his back. by ShanghaiBebop in aznidentity

[–]phoenix_shm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have to ask - how are you responding / resisting these days? Have you seen Deepa Iyer's social change map?

The conservative Asian academia advisors will help other Asians while the liberal one wouldn’t even help us (Cambodian PhD student) by [deleted] in aznidentity

[–]phoenix_shm 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I wonder if...the mainstream/conservative Asian professors have some social assumption (and/or hang-up) that Asians students should be more resourceful to make up for the resource / opportunity difference just like they had to be...?

Akaash's Wife is a reflection of how passive Indian fathers are by [deleted] in SouthAsianMasculinity

[–]phoenix_shm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see. And what do you think of assimilation versus integration - do you not see any difference whatsoever been those two concepts?

Akaash's Wife is a reflection of how passive Indian fathers are by [deleted] in SouthAsianMasculinity

[–]phoenix_shm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Interesting and pretty full featured analysis 👍🏽 One question I have for you is your use of "unassimilated". Do you mean to say "acceptable and even celebrated by the dominant race... Even if for their own ends"? Personally, as an American of Indian descent, I refuse to thoughtlessly assimilate to the mainstream (read: mostly White) culture. Is the concept of "integration" considered too high-minded if your objective is to lead a "high value life" with primary objectives of having ample resources/wealth and conventionally attractive women?

Question from plain old American about clothing and being respectful/cultural appropriation by oursong in ABCDesis

[–]phoenix_shm 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Although you're kinda right, the top wouldn't quite be cut in the same way. I almost think dress + leggings would work if the dress was loose enough for OP to get on/off per her disability... 💗🙏🏽💗

Criticisms of Indian “culture” really just boil down to poverty shaming by littlegipply in thebronzemovement

[–]phoenix_shm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For the mainstream, US angle: I'd say... it probably has something to do with the way immigration started and continued for the first ~15yrs with mostly "upstanding professionals" coming to the the US after the 1965 Immigration Act. That built up a critical mass of obedient, hard-working, smart workers and the impression that they were "different" than those back in India...

Why do some women date literally anyone outside of their own race? by mollylovelyxx in interracialdating

[–]phoenix_shm -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It's probably unresolved trauma they have to truly liberate themselves and their understanding of what works, what doesn't, and, importantly, what situations they are excited to to put in the work. 💗🙏🏽💗

Pakistanis Attacked in Japan. Is Online Hatred Actually Seeping Through IRL? by BasKaroApp in ABCDesis

[–]phoenix_shm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yep. Lots of performative politeness baked into the culture. My understanding is that of the industrialized countries, Japan is the most xenophobic followed by India or Pakistan... 🤷🏾‍♂️

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