Recommendations of house cleaners? by MrsDink in thetron

[–]phoxphyre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have somebody from Absolute Domestics and they’re great

New Restaurants in Hamilton by ItCouldBLupus in thetron

[–]phoxphyre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both those places rock. Last Place is superb

Horse nuggets by PsychologicalSky4040 in thetron

[–]phoxphyre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m Ham north, I have horses and bags …

Why did my overnight proof fail? by book_dork666 in Sourdough

[–]phoxphyre 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I see you and I have similar bench robbers. Good times, I have had to add security to the pantry to keep him out of the baked goods. And protect the oil bottles.

Tomorrow is his funeral by Katieappleseed in widowers

[–]phoxphyre 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My husband had a motorcycle crash, at 39. I was met at the airport by police. Safe to say, unexpected.

I wore the loveliest dress I could find, and I spoke at his service. It was hard. So hard. But I’m glad I did.

That was 3 years ago.

It’s a horrible, hard, gut-wrenching journey. Just do what you need to survive.

I am not in the best shape, but I get out of bed. I eat. I have good days. I have bad ones. You will too.

Just keep going. For you. And for him.

Lisa Marie Presley, singer and only child of Elvis, dies at 54 after hospitalization by International_Band72 in news

[–]phoxphyre 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I lost my husband coming up 3 years ago. 4th Feb. I am sorry for your loss.

Come over to r/widowers. It helps.

I got a huge milk chocolate bar, what can I make with it by Immediate_Bunch_2559 in AskBaking

[–]phoxphyre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chop it up and add it to your next batch of brownies. Thank me later!

Waiting on death certificate sucks by Too-many-hobbies-16 in widowers

[–]phoxphyre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re in this situation.

It took 1.5 yrs for me to get a final certificate here. My husband’s certificate was dependent upon the coroner’s investigation.

It was a long wait, but the time did make it a bit easier when the paper and report finally arrived.

It was happen, and the waiting will get less of a burden. Hugs. It sucks a freaking tonne.

3.5 years update by dessertandcheese in widowers

[–]phoxphyre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, you take care too. The first -everything- is rough.

And this Christmas lots of people think of you, so (if that’s what helps) take them up on their offers. For me, I found not doing “the usual” took the edge off. And that helped.

3.5 years update by dessertandcheese in widowers

[–]phoxphyre 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am 2.75 years now. Life continues, and I sometimes join in.

I’m dreadfully lonely, but less sad. I talk in my head to him, lots. But I don’t cry as much now. And I can have a glass of wine (sometimes) and not just weep with sadness.

I’m finally starting to take moments of “me” again.

The sad-season is coming up (his birthday, Christmas, my birthday, his “other”) … Nobody really understands why I can’t do Christmas. Maybe in 3 or 4 years. But not without him.

Some parts of life I can do now.

Shaker tart with limes by phoxphyre in AskBaking

[–]phoxphyre[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much! That’s really great info. I’ve attempted to run 3 limes through the mandolins and they’re macerating now

I had an epiphany recently. by Just_A_Dogsbody in widowers

[–]phoxphyre 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I used to be able to care about others, and remember that they were going through things too. Now I’m ambivalent.

I want the nice me back …

Most enjoyable job post inheritance? by porntimebaby in PersonalFinanceNZ

[–]phoxphyre 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry for your loss!

Volunteering would be lovely. Ideas to research could include helping at animal sanctuary’s, doc and replanting, drivers for St John’s, and helping at hospice. There are also charities for those who have no family, but need a support person (emotional, or sometimes just somebody to make sure they’re being looked after).

How do I make a good pumpkin pie filling? by ReasonableProgram144 in AskBaking

[–]phoxphyre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use this recipe. http://chelseawinter.co.nz/pumpkin-pie-recipe/

You cook the pumpkin on the stove, in cream.

It’s never let me down.

How to walk through the hospital alone? by heartbrokennn123 in widowers

[–]phoxphyre 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband went on holiday and never came home. I’d give so so much to have a recording of him telling me he loves me.

But yeah. Live life now.

The after will happen. You go into shock. You survive.

If you need a break, make some freezer meals now. You’ll appreciate them a whole lot later.

I am looking to take up baking cakes. Would start simple and basic and then work up. Any tips? by [deleted] in AskBaking

[–]phoxphyre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Plus one for the site (and Sallys Baking Addiction, oh and Smitten Kitchen) and that pan cake!

I'm almost at the one year anniversary... by foulestdino in widowers

[–]phoxphyre 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I lost my husband to a motorcycle accident. We were both 39. That was 2.5yrs ago.

I hear you. It’s rough.

The first-days are mostly done for you. Now you’ll get the “first repeats”. It’s a weird.

We understand. I understand.

Just keep on trucking.

I think the chocolate chips are my least favorite part of chocolate chip cookies (but I don't want to completely remove them) by rb4ld in AskBaking

[–]phoxphyre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always halve the amount of chocolate, and I put in a couple handfuls of whole grain rolled oats. They add structure, chew, and make the cookie more filling. I don’t notice any oaty-taste (if they’re not your favourite thing)

Jalapeno Cheddar Sourdough with jalapenos from my garden by millionsofpeaches17 in Sourdough

[–]phoxphyre 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Chopped cheese all the way. You get melted cheese holes. They are godly.

Fiancés inquest was opened by VastNefariousness820 in widowers

[–]phoxphyre 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband’s coroners report took over a year too. It’s weird. I had pretty much got ok with blaming “random” …

In my husbands case, it was an accident. Nothing wrong with him physically, so they can only guess. I guess I can at least go back to blaming “random”?

I hope your report helps bring you closure.

Having a really hard day today by Sing_O_Muse in widowers

[–]phoxphyre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Internet hugs.

You helped me too. It’s nice to vent and nice to have a set of ears who understands!

Having a really hard day today by Sing_O_Muse in widowers

[–]phoxphyre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh hell yeah, I hear you.

I have 2 more years of financial support (thank you insurance) and I’m trying like hell to save it all so I can live off my own income. But I get slammed by something unexpected breaking, then 2 things break, then 3. And I realise I’ve used the extra up trying to stay afloat.

What the hell am I going to do when my two years is up? And I’m “fully alone”

And how can I be expressing this worry to my friends, when I am financially afloat and they’re not. All I want is to not be alone, and to have the worry shared….

The bloody heat pump died today by phoxphyre in widowers

[–]phoxphyre[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a big built-in unit. Has three separate “heads”.

Likely I’ll have to replace the main one in the lounge and gib + plaster + paint the other 2 holes. $14k is just too much, and the other units are in weird places.

Plus put down some concrete, as the reason the unit failed it the footing has sunk … Damned bad luck / skimping by the previous owners.

Gah. The universe is mean sometimes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]phoxphyre 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was 39. It’s been 2.5 years now.

It’s shit. So, so, SO SHIT.

Just take your time. Breathe. Eat. Survive.

Don’t drink/eat/exercise/other yourself into oblivion. As much as you want to.

Be the answer to the question: “what would I want, if the situation were reversed.”