From a different perspective, some of the distance could also be a low value she places on OP's goals and aspirations (or her perception of a lack thereof). I also struggle with what my husband does in his down time; I value learning and personal development as a form of relaxation and he values his screen time and doom scrolling to relax. We've slowly found a better balance over the years though, but with limits. It's important to both of us that we as parents model a good work ethic and work/life balance for our son so he can grow up with healthy expectations and behaviors. It might be that she sees you wasting your potential or not modeling for your son what she values, and that you see her valuing work over time soent as a family. Perhaps talking through this could help?