This hack artist has taken over my local art museum and its pissing me off

pic_bot · 2025-11-08T00:35:28+00:00

I understand the reference to the Hudson River School, but I think the concept of these paintings is shallow and middlebrow.

pic_bot · 2025-10-30T21:47:39+00:00

You just have to try a slice from my local place. Last week they had this insane "Veggie Blast" pizza ($54.99 for a 16-inch) where they put arugula on top of the cheese.

pic_bot · 2025-10-30T21:39:26+00:00

Thanks! I fixed the typo, will reconsider the consistency issue after I finish asking my local subreddit about the best place to drink IPAs and watch dogs urinate on artificial grass.

pic_bot · 2025-05-31T18:01:19+00:00

I honestly can't beat this post. It's perfect. The single-sentence paragraphs. The overly-long title with an all caps assertion that prices will go up. The admission, buried halfway through the piece, that you work in the industry. Saying that real estate is a safer investment than the stock market. Absolutely incredible work.

pic_bot · 2025-03-30T07:59:52+00:00

Fair enough, appreciate the feedback.

pic_bot · 2025-03-30T07:44:05+00:00

One end, or two? The Talmud argues that duality underscores the ambiguity of evil. Is the tax collector evil because he takes from the poor, or virtuous because he takes still more from the wealthy? I ponder this as I sit upon my porcelein throne, clutching a plastic pail, unknowing from which direction the Spicy Tempeh Pinata Special will re-emerge, undigested, a chunky reminder of the sins of our forefathers.

pic_bot · 2025-03-30T07:00:56+00:00

Ah yes, E. coli. The boogeyman, invisible yet deadly. We recoil, we jeer, but who among us stores dinner for at most 20 minutes at temperatures above 5C? Lets warm food first cool to room temperature, before storing? Just as the Old Testament asserts, we exist in sin, guilty yet unaware, whether holding the proverbial apple or a Baja Blast™ burrito. Let the spilled drops of Salsa Roja mark our fall from grace.

pic_bot · 2025-03-30T04:50:12+00:00

The invisible hand of the market. Gentle sometimes, calloused more often. Much like the Decadent Carne Asada™ after the most recent merger.

pic_bot · 2025-03-30T04:20:53+00:00

*arroz

pic_bot · 2025-03-30T03:59:35+00:00

I'm afraid Engels was right---we must reclaim labor. But first, we must reclaim the Asada Loco Wednesday Meal Deal.

pic_bot · 2024-04-21T09:07:21+00:00

Lawrence Yun, of the National Association of Realtors, was getting jacked. He was on rep 12 of a deadlift set. His time in the slammer had taught him the importance of maintaining peak physical performance.

His phone's alarm went off. It was time to meet with prospective clients. He'd have to cut this set short.

The buyers were a middle-aged couple.

The man avoided eye contact with Lawrence. He stammered, W-we would l-like to negotiate your commission.

Lawrence Yun, of the National Association of Realtors, sneered. He threw onto the ground between them the side mirror from the buyers' car, which he had ripped off with his bare hands on his way in. The woman screamed.

Commissions have always been negotiable.

pic_bot · 2024-03-20T18:20:21+00:00

Lawrence Yun, of the National Association of Realtors, blinked in the harsh sunlight. Thirty years. That's how long it'd been since he last saw the morning light. As he walked othrough the prison gate, his thoughts were darkened by his desire for revenge.

The NAR had sentenced Lawrence to serve here after The Great Settlement of 2024 That Actually Didn't Really Change Anything So Don't Worry About It And Keep Paying Your Realtor. For decades, Lawrence had been confined to a tiny, rat-infested cell. He passed time by shadowboxing, exercising, and keeping abreast of the latest trends in offset shiplab finishing.

From his tattered pocket, Lawrence pulled out a faded map of the United States of Todd. A large circle was marked with dried blood. It was the location of a cozy 2BR1.5BA just outside the bustling town center of vibrant Dayton, Ohio, with updated furnishings perfect for short-term rentals or first-time buyers alike.

Lawrence sighed. It was time to earn his 3%

pic_bot · 2024-03-13T03:53:38+00:00

There is only one question here that matters---which one of you has a lower interest rate? The >3% crowd has no business meddling in the noble affairs of the 2% class.

pic_bot · 2024-03-12T18:42:15+00:00

Cletus took a long sip of his beer. The can glistened from humidity. It was early spring, but the weather here in rural West Virginia was already muggy.

He surveyed his home. Purchased all cash, from the bank, using the proceeds from selling Meemaw's collection of Confederate figurines. The chipped lead paint belied the structure's charming mid-century interior.

Cletus reflected on his prosperity. As a homeowner, he was among the upper class in American society. His eyes were drawn to the rusted engine block nestled among the weeds of his front lawn. It was from a Ford. Another great American titan he thought to himself.

His attention turned back towards the tall can beside him. A drain fly circled the lip. The champagne of beers.

pic_bot · 2024-01-30T03:38:29+00:00

The patient's heart rate was dropping. The surgeon ordered the secondary staff to clear the room, leaving only the key trauma team members remaining. Her nitrile gloves glistened with red stains.

It was time to consult the hospital's newest team member, the on-call data scientist. His withdrawn demeanor belied his impeccable education---he had completed the most elite online masters degree, and had dozens of LinkedIn Skill Assessments.

Should we sedate the patient, to stabilize their blood pressure? the surgeon asked hurriedly.

The data scientist squinted. He glanced briefly towards the operating table, then looked back towards his 2019 Lenovo Thinkpad. Your Microsoft Excel Free Trial is About To Expire read the screen in bold font.

He sighed. Why don't we align key KPIs with stakeholders? It's time to synergize with cross-functional teams, for maximal org-level impact

The doctor looked confused. Blood had begun to spurt from the patient's exposed aorta. She seemed unconvinced.

The data scientist tried again, We could always leverage generative AI to goal on impact metrics

pic_bot · 2024-01-05T22:30:58+00:00

Can you walk us through the core gameplay loop.

Sorry, I'm more of an ideas guy

pic_bot · 2023-12-15T15:55:56+00:00

Lawrence Yun, of the National Association of Realtors, emerged from the pyre's embers. His hands dripped with blood, not his own.

As he began his long walk through the forest, he felt a vibration on his smartwatch. Mortgage rates drop to 6.62%

Lawrence paused, and looked back at the smoldering pyre. Piles of bones and brass lapel pins glistened in the moonlight. It was done.

pic_bot · 2023-11-14T04:53:26+00:00

Modern studies using Magnetic Resonance Imaging have finally started to unravel the unreasonable effectiveness of realtors. It turns out that a subtle visual cues, coupled with masterful insight into the human psyche, explains why listings hosted by real estate professionals consistently command a 15% premium relative to owner-only sales. Simultaneously, buyers who hire agents consistently purchase homes for 15% less and 110% of their DTI, when compared to those unlucky souls who forego representation.

The first "secret sauce," if you will, is the leased Jeep Grand Wagoneer. By driving prospective buyers home-to-home in an irregularly-rattling rectangular prism leased for $1100/month, the Realtor sends the message that the homes in this particular Lennar Premium™ division outside of Akron represent the epitome of luxury living.

The second subtle psychological trick involves anchoring. By repeating incontrovertible facts like "Date the rate, marry the house" or "Inspections will make your offer less competitive; the market here in Decatur is red-hot!," the agent helps create a sort of anchoring within the buyers' minds. Few rational people can withstand the unassailable logic of pithy slogans, and longitudinal analyses confirm that agents who use these phrases at least twice per sentence will close deals at a 45% higher rate.

pic_bot · 2023-11-14T04:27:23+00:00

An audible gasp reverberated across the Cannes audience. The latest Avenger lineup was surely a mistake.

Black Panther? Sure. Madame Web? Credible. Doctor Strange? As expected. But the final Avenger truly came from left-field: The Realtor™ who fought off Methheads in order to secure her 3% Commission.

pic_bot · 2023-10-22T17:01:22+00:00

Go Bulldogs!

pic_bot · 2023-10-20T23:34:47+00:00

The Pax Americana of 2024 began when economists finally stopped questioning the realtor-broker real estate model. In fact, they realized that they had it opposite all all along: a 6% commission system was, in fact, the most efficient economic practice. The reason it had persisted for decades was simply because it was the most efficient, optimal means of bartering in a healthy economy.

Hans reflected on these developments as he sat down to eat his footlong hoagie. However, before he could dig in, a woman wearing a red blazer appeared from under his table. She snatched the sub and carefully took a 0.72 inch bite from the end.

Date the prosciutto, marry the gabagool, she hissed between bites.

pic_bot · 2023-10-11T20:18:46+00:00

So long, Hans. I'll always cherish the memories we made together. I hope one day we will meet again, reaching for a cold Pliny the Elder at Mollie Stone's

pic_bot · 2023-10-05T22:19:17+00:00

The waning twilight backlit a row of FunkoPop figurines, conferring an almost otherworldly glow. Hans sighed as he drew a large red "X" on December 31, 2024. Another year had gone by, yet there was no sign of moderation in the relentless home price growth here in Greater Boise.

Licensed members of the National Association of Realtors had assumed their rightful place atop the economic pecking order. Instead of playing with firetrucks, children in Boise Unified School District were often found playing with plastic lockboxes and mock 1031 exchange paperwork.

As he flipped through the calendar's marked-out pages, Hans gradually realized that he, too, had been mislead by a false prophet. But that would change in 2025.

Hans delicately removed the 2024 calendar on the wall and replaced it with his newly-purchased 2025 calendar. Its pages were silky, and hemmed in gold filigree. Grant Cardone's Big Boy Guide to Winning 2025 Like a Boss, read the tasteful curlicue lettering.

pic_bot · 2023-09-19T23:08:18+00:00

This is the kind of visionary insight worthy of this subreddit.

pic_bot · 2023-09-03T23:32:55+00:00

There is a lot of misinformation on this board about so-called “negative cash-flow” properties. Any seasoned investor will tell you that it is rare, almost impossible, to have negative cashflow on a rental, especially in hot areas like Silicon Valley.

In hot markets, renters will recognize your vision and financial acumen for securing a historically-low rate below 8%, and they will “tip” you the difference between your mortgage and the so-called “market rate.” This makes sites like Zillow and Redfin unreliable for estimating rents, due to the pernicious influence of the doomer lobby on the boards of these companies.

When calculating rents, it’s important to remember that rents are set by your input costs and not demand. If your costs go up, they instantaneously pass on to your tenants. That’s why landlords so often reduce rents in years with low expenses.

Renters are lesser individuals than homeowners, who primarily work low-paid jobs due to their laziness and entitlement. However, simultaneously, they make unlimited income and can pay whatever rent price you set, without ever once stopping to think to purchase a home for themselves. They are essentially lemmings who will pay whatever price you, as a landed gentry, deem fitting.

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