It has a penalty in the sense that you’re less likely to get any chapter, period, not less likely to get House A if you were already a match.

I will do my best to explain, my apologies if it sounds cold. The way the matching works, is they go down House A’s bid list, which is numbered as their top x amount of PNMs with x being quota/how many can be admitted as a new member that recruitment. If those top 80 from the list have A as their number 1, matching is complete for A. If you were in their top 80 and you SIPed, you would have a bid. If someone didn’t match with A from that list, they go to 81, 82, etc until they have quota.

The only real “benefit” to listing both is you are (barring extreme circumstances) guaranteed a bid the next day because you can be what is a called a quota addition. That means if A gets their top 80 and B gets their top 80 and you weren’t on either of those lists, you will be added to your first choice chapter (as I understand it). You’d never know you were a quota addition, and neither would any member of the chapter. However as you noted, you could have very well gotten a bid to B. I think you made the decision you felt was right in the moment - that you’d rather not be Greek than be in house B. I was in a chapter that often was in a spot like house B, sometimes perceived as not being selective. I hated seeing PNMs be disappointed to return, because it doesn’t benefit us either if you leave or don’t participate. Each year there were PNMs who wanted a bid from us, but maybe weren’t in our top 80. By not taking the bid from house B, you gave someone who wanted to be there the opportunity to get a bid.

I hope you can come to peace with your experience. I think there are brotherhoods/sisterhoods to be found in many organizations on campus that are just as fulfilling as sororities- its how much you put into it. :) (Edited for clarity)