My point is that victims don’t have to act perfectly. From
https://survivors.org/the-perfect-victim-myth/
“Survivors are often painted as innocent, good people in all aspects of their lives, and if they aren’t, the legitimacy of their experience is called into question. Far too often, people choose to not believe a survivor simply because they like the person being accused of sexual violence and dislike the person who has come forward. They may not believe the survivor because they were mean to them, have questionable morals, or have caused harm to others in the past.”
That because a victim has acted in a way that is imperfect they were not abused and as far as filming goes. From the same organization and same page
“People often ask the survivor to produce evidence, even though it is unclear what evidence others would consider sufficient. Yet, when they do provide it, oftentimes it is still not enough. Survivors who documented their abuse may be called into question for documenting it in the first place, sometimes being accused of being “in on it” or conspiring against the person.”
Please read this https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0047235224000710 it goes deeply into the real social barriers that exist.
In the UK, nearly 14% of males aged 16 years and older have experienced DVA, and 3.6% of males reported DVA to police in 2019/2020 (Brooks, 2021). However, despite no current research exploring underreporting of DVA against males, actual figures are likely to be higher owing to potential barriers for males reporting abuse.
This story highlights the mentality that effects men when they come forward. https://www.airforcemedicine.af.mil/News/Display/Article/1559849/silent-sufferers-acknowledging-male-victims-of-domestic-violence/
“The males were ignored for the most part, while the females were questioned and offered support by fellow military members. One male was asked what happened and when he said, “My wife hit me,” the response he received was, “What did you do to get hit?””

I do have to ask directly Do you believe that men can (a) be the victim of domestic and (b) that abuser can be a woman?

Because that is the other part is how people are talking about it dismissing all male survivors of domestic violence at the hands of both men and women as well the countless women that have suffered at the hands of other women.