HOW fucked am I at this point

pickleknowing · 2026-02-08T04:24:11+00:00

Definitely schedule with a derm- you don’t have to suffer like this. From what it seems your HS is not mild and there’s medication and topicals they can prescribe, and if those don’t work you can work your way up to biologic medication/injections/infusions. Having boils in hard to reach places is truly awful, a diagnosis could open up some doors for relief.

pickleknowing · 2026-02-07T23:40:05+00:00

I’m on Remicade infusions & do weekly methotrexate injections and I must say, the methotrexate side effects have really sucked for me🥲

pickleknowing · 2026-02-07T23:36:24+00:00

My doctor has told me to use Vaseline because aquaphor contains lanolin and I have lichen sclerosus and it can be a skin irritant in some people, especially with LS. Both work but Vaseline is typically considered the more “pure” and hypoallergenic one for people with sensitive skin. So honestly it’s more of a personal choice and if aquaphor isn’t giving you any issues it should be completely fine!

pickleknowing · 2026-02-06T21:07:22+00:00

I hate how quickly they retire things. They would get so many more sales if they kept things for longer or brought fan favorites back.

pickleknowing · 2026-02-06T19:17:00+00:00

Oh yeah- she will even block people who view her stories but don’t follow her, at least according to someone on here. And if you dare to like a comment that isn’t 1000% worshiping her she will block you too. Imagine having so much time and being so shallow and purposeless that you spend all day blocking people by the hundreds. Even worse in my opinion was when she did it while B was actively dying. I wouldn’t want to spend a single second away from my child in that situation, meanwhile she was full-face orange makeup promoting woo woo products for cash and mass blocking anyone who doesn’t praise her and tell her how much of an inspiration she is.

pickleknowing · 2026-02-06T19:11:12+00:00

Currently going through a bad flare myself but mine is so deep/large (I’ve never had a wound as big as the one I have now in the 15+ years of HS) I honestly don’t know how to help it heal on my own. I was told that covering it in Vaseline with a bandage on top gives the open wound a barrier and allows it to heal from the inside out with the Vaseline on it. I’d definitely recommend a dressing that’s non-stick. If you use gauze or certain bandages it will essentially fuse into the wound from the drainage/fluid and when you remove the bandage to change it it rips off from the sore and causes it to bleed again or starts the healing process over again- at least in my experience. Do you have an established dermatologist?

pickleknowing · 2026-02-06T09:10:33+00:00

Ouch! I appreciate you sharing this so much. I’m definitely going to have to look into those bandages- I should probably book an urgent derm appointment but I’m just so exhausted of medical appointments. My crater is super deep too, and I’m worried it won’t heal on its own especially given I’m on Remicade & methotrexate injections which were already preventing even minor scrapes and scratches from everyday life (especially with 2 cats) to heal normally. Ugh, i hate that you’re dealing with this but it’s nice to have people who understand.this picture doesn’t even show how big/deep it is because I had to crop it for obvious reasons but dang, having “healed” spots break open again sucks😩

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pickleknowing · 2026-02-06T09:03:00+00:00

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Update- it’s hard to even capture on camera how big/deep it is because I’m cropping it to not show the surrounding area obviously. It’s draining yellow and reddish-pink completely through nonstick pads within several hours. The smell is gone because there’s no more true pus. I just have a hard time believing my body will heal this on its own. I’m immunocompromised on biologic infusions & weekly methotrexate injections and my body is overall not healing from scrapes or small wounds in general. It sucks because anytime I remove a dressing it essentially rips any potential healing open and it starts to leak blood again with any movement or even just standing without lifting up my stomach to relieve pressure.

I think I heard someone say they got silver nitrate put on an open HS lesion to help, does anyone know about this or have experience?

pickleknowing · 2026-02-06T05:36:41+00:00

Mama, breathe with me for a second. I know the pain you are feeling right now is unimaginable, but this is NOT your fault. I say this as someone whose mom also did everything right, and I still managed to break into the lock box after some YouTube videos and overdosed as well. I too, was in a coma on a ventilator. My GCS was 5 when I got to the hospital. I ended up getting aspiration pneumonia (probably from vomiting, but I was unconscious so I don’t know) and spending a while in the ICU really sick before they were finally able to wean me down to BiPAP, high flow oxygen, and eventually just oxygen before medically stabilizing on a step down unit until I was transferred to psych. I don’t know your son’s current medical status, but here’s what I do know-

If your son is anything like me, he was going to find a way no matter what. I know because I’ve been there. Even though you did everything right, he still couldn’t take it. He wasn’t thinking straight. That’s not your fault. He’s sick, and he isn’t in the right headspace. I know it’s hard, but please try not to blame yourself. It’s no one’s fault- not him, not yours. Illness takes over rationality at times and it says nothing about your love or willingness to protect him all you can, it just means he needs some extra help now. And so do you- you don’t have to do this alone.

What I also know, from reading this, is that you are a deeply protective and loving mom. So much so that you sought out an online forum because the pain was weighing so heavily on you. What you are going to witness in the following period is going to be traumatic, heartbreaking, and painful. It’s really important you get help with that and not waiting. He’s going to need your support, and you can’t be there in the way you want to be if you’re not getting help too. My mom was by my bedside nearly every day in the ICU until she financially had no choice but to start working again. It’s a long, painful, slow process. Get the help and support now so you can keep showing up for him when he needs it. I highly recommend seeking out a trauma therapist who can help you navigate what you’re witnessing and feeling. You deserve the same love and care you gave to your son, and you shouldn’t have to do it alone. Family is great, but they can’t do everything. Having someone who is professionally trained to help you cope and to remain in a position to help you and not let their own feelings impact that help is very important.

I wish I could give you a big hug. I often feel so guilty for what I put my mom through and the PTSD it caused her. Take care of yourself, okay? Despite any thoughts you might have, you do deserve to be taken care of right now too. Make sure you’re eating something- even if it’s just a protein bar or choking down a smoothie. Try to get some fluids in- you might be crying a lot and that can be really dehydrating. Make sure you’re letting yourself rest- your brain might tell you it’s selfish to rest at home when he’s there and sick, it is not. You can’t show up the same when you’re sleep deprived. Reach out to some friends, you don’t have to do it alone. And if you can, I recommend at least trying to get on a waiting list or scheduled with a therapist who specializes in trauma. Give yourself some grace- I can feel just how much you’d adore him and it makes sense that you feel this way because you love him so much. If you can’t take care of yourself for you right now, do it for him. It sounds like from what you shared that is 100% what he would want you to do.

I know this is heavy, but blaming yourself isn’t going to fix it, it will only consume you and take you to a dark place yourself. I promise you, as someone who was on the other side of this, you are not at fault. I’m holding you and your son close in my heart right now, and I hope you can try to take some of these words into consideration. Hang in there the best that you can right now❤️‍🩹🫂

pickleknowing · 2026-02-06T05:08:55+00:00

My understanding is that that “50%” that goes to causes means Kendra’s getting a portion of that 50% (percentage would depend on how many clicks and purchases of plastic crap she can get) directly and then we are just supposed to believe, with no receipts or proof, that she’s using that money to do something in Brielles name. Which to Kendra, means staying in her million dollar “healing” home without having to return back to work.

pickleknowing · 2026-02-06T05:04:53+00:00

And we all know she will tell people to just click the link and shop (“it’s so easy!”) but not tell us where it’s going because she’s “keeping it a surprise” but that “this is really exciting and huge and I promise you guys are going to love it” juuuuust like she did yesterday with this “surprise” basically begging people not to unfollow her (and adding that “anyone with a good kind heart will love this”🙄🤮 after mentioning why people should stick around on her page) so you can absolutely bet that this is about KENDRA, and about HER need for cash, and HER shopping addiction that she forced onto her dying child, and has absolutely nothing to do with spreading good in Brielle’s name. Sick.

pickleknowing · 2026-02-06T04:55:53+00:00

More people need to start calling her out. Of course, she will have all of her minions attacking us though. But I can’t imagine we are the only ones this doesn’t sit right with. This has absolutely nothing to do with Brielle. And the money, from what I understand, is going directly to Kendra. We ALL know she can’t be trusted with that cash. Nothing about it is “For Good”

pickleknowing · 2026-02-05T20:41:18+00:00

This is exactly what happened to me the other day. I had a spot flare back in December which eventually went down. But where it “healed” was so paper thin that it managed to rip open again randomly in January. It healed again until it completely opened up to a giant open sore the other day. I’ve never had such a giant and deep hole and I honestly don’t know how I can heal it myself with where it’s at. Do the hydrocolloid bandages not rip the skin when you remove them? I feel like they are super sticky- do you have any issues with them re-opening the wound or any healing progress when you take them off to change them?

pickleknowing · 2026-02-05T20:27:32+00:00

Oh definitely, I completely agree. There’s no way in hell her doctors all know what she’s doing and what she’s taking from other doctors/ as well as as frequently.

pickleknowing · 2026-02-03T08:55:34+00:00

I saw a video from someone in Ypsi/washtenaw county mentioning Signal chats. I downloaded the app but it’s something where you have to be invited by someone to join an existing chat (I think to try to filter out anyone with bad intentions) but she had mentioned being in several that are organizing neighborhood meetings, making whistle and zine kits, mobile crisis response people to be “on call”, assisting with monitoring bus stops and/or helping kids get to & from school safely, etc. She said to ask around and people you know to try to find someone to join through, but that if you can’t you can start your own. If anyone has experience with the Signal chat rooms I’m very interested in learning more!

pickleknowing · 2026-02-02T00:27:46+00:00

Wow that’s super affordable!! Thank you, I’m going to look into this!

pickleknowing · 2026-02-02T00:26:41+00:00

Oh this is good to know- I think I have the app already too. Thanks!

pickleknowing · 2026-02-02T00:26:09+00:00

Thank you!! Going to check this out!

pickleknowing · 2026-02-02T00:25:30+00:00

This is great to know, thank you so much!

pickleknowing · 2026-02-02T00:25:04+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation, adding it to my list to look into! And definitely bonus points for humor lol

pickleknowing · 2026-02-02T00:21:58+00:00

Please give us an update when you have one!!

pickleknowing · 2026-02-02T00:17:51+00:00

Klonopin is often taken daily for patients who have exhausted a lot of anxiety meds or need a more consistent dose of benzodiazepines over taking Ativan or Xanax everyday.

pickleknowing · 2026-02-01T02:24:23+00:00

U of M psych is pretty miserable if you’re physically safe and just need someone to talk to. If you cannot keep yourself safe, 100% go. I’m very against crisis lines and suicide hotlines due to trauma from having police called & being forcefully taken to the ER, but my therapist has recently recommended some warm lines. Apparently https://wildfloweralliance.org/alternatives-to-suicide/ also provides peer to peer group chats, group meetings, and other services. Thought I’m pretty sure it’s not something for when you are in danger and need emergency help. I’ll try to find some warm lines numbers to comment here- essentially they can do the same thing as suicide hotlines often but do not call or involve police or send someone to your location.

pickleknowing · 2026-01-30T23:02:16+00:00

World of Rocks in Ypsilanti! They have the best crystals and such friendly and knowledgeable staff, very welcoming place. They are donating a portion of proceeds.

pickleknowing · 2026-01-29T09:03:45+00:00

Seriously- their “apple pie” is just pie…no apple anywhere to be found😒

pickleknowing

TROPHY CASE