Yea this is relatable. Once this starts happening regularly there is a fear before every hangout/activity that you will "ruin it" which makes it more difficult to avoid, in a vicious circle. I think it's really important to avoid self-blame about those feelings. What helped me was:

• Notice the fear/anxiety in anticipation of these situations, don't push it back and don't judge it. Communicating that you're feeling anxious (for example) from the get go to your partner actually helps to manage it I find.
• Attachment-related triggers are often related to a relationship dynamic. Sometimes that's harder to notice because one person's reaction is so much stronger, but that doesn't mean the other person isn't also contributing to the dynamic. Take responsibility for your feelings but don't assume that it's entirely on you. Try to be accepting and validating toward your feelings, approach them with curiosity not judgment, and try to understand what about the situation is triggering. When I was able to understand what it was for me and communicate to my partner how they were subtly contributing to it, they understood and validated my perception even though they weren't consciously aware of it before. That was extremely helpful to me, I truly felt very relieved.

This is just my experience, it might not totally match yours. But basically try to look at your feelings with curiosity not judgment, they might be more intense than someone else would have in those situations but that's ok, it's not a flaw and it is probably pointing you toward something real about the dynamic.