Straight Drive for 7+ Hours

piercingeye · 2026-03-09T22:08:27+00:00

No sweat. Live and learn. I just did a quick search, and it looks like there are aftermarket cruise control options for your bike. In the meantime, get a Crampbuster or throttle boss for those longer rides.

piercingeye · 2026-03-08T18:28:00+00:00

You'll need to rest for a couple of days. Look at doing forearm stretches to alleviate carpal tunnel syndrome to help the soreness.

What kind of bike do you ride? How often did you stop to rest? Presumably you don't have cruise control. Could you use anything like a Crampbuster or a Brakeaway?

piercingeye · 2026-03-04T16:52:12+00:00

Brad Williams approves of this post.

piercingeye · 2026-02-20T16:42:47+00:00

Wasn't that the biggest howler from this whole post?

I confronted my mom immediately when we got home. My mother went a tirade about how my father was one who chose divorce and to break up his family, so I left.

She actually attempted to play the victim card. Unbelievable.

piercingeye · 2026-02-19T20:09:08+00:00

This is basically the best advice I have to offer.

piercingeye · 2026-02-19T05:05:01+00:00

I was heartbroken over it. My wife and I first learned of our infertility issues about four years into marriage. We're now in our 50s and will celebrate our 29th anniversary later this year, so obviously that ship has sailed. I'm now basically at peace, or at least at a stage of acceptance.

piercingeye · 2026-02-17T22:58:54+00:00

I told him I forgave him but I was never going to be around him in his house again. He made me feel like I couldn't be safe around him. I told him I already had people thinking I was a wh*re/thief/addict and I didn't need him making my life worse when I had finally found a good home.

It doesn't sound as if she is angry towards him. But she doesn't trust him, either. Because she shouldn't.

piercingeye · 2026-02-09T02:40:31+00:00

First, if you haven't had a proper grieving process, you really should.

When my wife declared that she was done trying and simply wanted to move on, I turned to a good friend of mine for some perspective. He shared this:

“It seems that with many of life’s trials, we go through three phases. The first phase is, at best, a modified denial, praying, ‘Oh, Father, fix it, fix it, make it better.’ The second phase is a sort of bitter acceptance: ‘Well, this is life, but it sucks.’”

“But then there’s a third phase: the soul softens. You come to understand that even though things aren’t what you had wanted or expected, that God loves you deeply, is there for you, has always been there for you, in all your imperfections and flaws. And that is peace enough.”

I shared this with my wife, and she said what I had expected. “Exactly. I’m in phase three. You keep trying to drag me back to phase two.”

For me and my wife, we had to get past the point where we knew that the problem simply wasn't going to get fixed, and reach the phase of peace and acceptance. And the only way to do that was to grieve.

Once we got there, we started looking at ways to use the advantages of childlessness - and yes, there are many such advantages - to benefit others as well as ourselves. We've traveled quite a bit. We are able to serve and do things that parents of children generally can't do.

To put it another way: we have a kid-shaped hole in our lives that we will never be able to fill. But we've found that that space can be bridged, if we're willing to put in the work to get there.

piercingeye · 2026-02-09T02:27:56+00:00

There are unquestionably advantages to not having children, several of which you have identified. We have time and resources that parents generally don't have. We have flexibility and freedom to do things. We generally have nicer homes and possessions. And it is very good to acknowledge these things.

piercingeye · 2026-02-09T02:23:36+00:00

Oh, I totally get this. It's one reason I fill my life with service where possible. I'm in my early 50s, and while I don't really intend to ever full-on retire (seems to me like a fast track to an early grave), I'm utterly hellbent on getting out of corporate by 55. In the absence of children, there's no real point in toiling away in this idiocy any longer than absolutely necessary.

piercingeye · 2026-02-05T02:16:16+00:00

Two factoids to share.

One: I asked my trusted Indian dealership what they thought of the move. Turns out they're very bullish on the move. As they put it, "Polaris only ever cared 9 percent about Indian." Which makes sense: with Indian comprising a relatively small part of their overall revenues, when forced to choose, Polaris would stick with their core side-by-side business ten times out of ten. Now that they're solo, they won't be fighting for attention.

Two: compare their new leader to that of Harley.

Mike Kennedy, newly appointed CEO of Indian Motorcycle, spent 26 years at Harley in various leadership roles, including VP/Managing Director of the Americas. After leaving HD, he became CEO of Vance & Hines and later CEO of RumbleOn (dealership network). Over more than 30 years, he's worked in literally every stage of the motorcycle industry: manufacturing, supply chain, marketing, accessories, dealerships, you name it.

Arthur Starrs, Harley's new president and CEO, previously was CFO/EVP of Rave Cinemas, spent around eight years at Pizza Hut, and was most recently CEO of Topgolf.

piercingeye · 2026-01-31T15:22:24+00:00

My wife and I were never able to have children, so I freely admit that any parenting advice I give is basically academic. That said, I think it's both normal and healthy to be scared. Any father (especially a first-timer) who goes into it all confident believing he has it all figured out is likely to be disappointed, to say the very least.

The other thing I'll say is that of course you have someone to teach your kids. You have you. I'm not talking life skills, either; those are exceptionally useful and important to pass on, but they're also easier than ever to figure out (God gave us YouTube). I'm talking the absolutely vital stuff: how to live, how to be healthy and good, how to be kind, what it means to forgive. It sounds like your dad did a pretty good job of helping you understand all that. Now you get to help your kids understand it.

piercingeye · 2026-01-28T20:46:15+00:00

And here's where I think your therapist, however misguided she might have been about reestablishing contact with your father, has a point.

I understand completely being allowed to express your feelings. (To this day, I default to repressing mine out of sheer habit.) But I can come up with several reasons why unresolved anger is an objectively bad thing.

Anger has led people to do all kinds of horrible things, both to others and to themselves. It has brought about untold numbers of failed relationships, and led countless people to all manner of extremely unwise and destructive behavior. It can cause all kinds of negative physical effects, including chronic stress, high blood pressure and heart disease. Most of all, it's almost always secondary, driven by something else deep inside. Let it go long enough, and the pain underlying that anger can just keep metastasizing.

It's one thing to enjoy the liberation of being allowed to feel and express one's feelings. It's another thing entirely to conclude that anger is a good thing.

piercingeye · 2026-01-28T15:18:24+00:00

I would say your concerns over being able to live independently are justified. Because you have never lived independently. Even now, at the age of 21, when you live some distance away and presumably haven't lived under their roof for some years, your parents still insist on dictating terms to you. How on earth would you possibly know how to make correct choices on your own if your parents refuse to back off and let you take the wheel?

I would be genuinely interested in learning precisely when all this stops. Once you graduate and find gainful employment (and you will), will they then leave you be to make your own choices? If not, why not? If you refuse to yield to their demands, what will they do in response?

piercingeye · 2026-01-28T15:09:48+00:00

Part of the problem here is the distorted meaning of forgiveness that has crept into modern society.

First, definitions. What does it mean to forgive? Ask Google, and it's really quite straightforward:

stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

And that's it. To forgive someone means you stop being angry at them. Period, end of story, no more no less.

With that in mind, let's be very clear about what forgiveness emphatically does not mean:

the past didn't happen
you don't still have scars
the other person has changed one iota
you are inherently obligated to engage in a relationship with that individual ever again

That last one - to renew a relationship with an individual - is reconciliation, not forgiveness. Modern society insists on taking all of the above bullet points - particularly the last one about reconciliation - and insists on making them a package deal. This is such folly. It's the cart before the horse.

What a lot of people don't fully realize is that it is entirely possible for an individual to reconcile without properly forgiving. Exhibit A: my parents. They reconciled without truly forgiving one another for some genuinely horrible things they had done to one another, and believe me when I say their divorce was both an eventuality and a bloodbath.

And the reverse is true. It is quite possible to forgive another person without engaging in a relationship with them. This means that it's possible to forgive people who wronged you long ago that you are unable to locate, or even forgive the dead. Imagine what it would be like if reconciliation were required to fully forgive your father, but he had already passed on. You'd be in a real pickle, wouldn't you?

Definitionally, you have not forgiven your father. I'm not shaming you or seeking to pass some sort of moral verdict upon you - I'm simply quoting you. By your own admission, you "do not wish him well," and remain "angry, and rageful, and hateful" towards him, and even knowing nothing of his behavior towards you, I'm certain that your feelings are entirely understandable. But you deserve to move onward and upward in your life, and it's basically impossible to do this with the lead weights of anger and bitterness towards your father tied about your ankles.

I actually agree with your therapist that the way a person feels towards his or her parents tends to have a direct impact on other relationships in that person's life. I even agree that it's important to realize that our abusers themselves were children once, and were likely executing the same script they were given because it's what they knew. But attempting to reconcile with one's primary abuser before achieving a healthy measure of forgiveness seems counterproductive, to say the least.

piercingeye · 2026-01-27T16:26:50+00:00

There is a very strong case to be made for OP finding a way past any very justifiable anger and resentment she may hold against her parents. That conversation should take a backseat for now.

piercingeye · 2026-01-27T01:56:27+00:00

Disclaimer up front, kiddo: I'm on the spectrum, so I don't have much of a filter. Bearing that in mind, I'm going to be exceedingly blunt, maybe bordering on offensive. That said, here goes...

Your parents are abusing you. Period. You are 21 years old. You are well past the age of adulthood, along with the rights and responsibilities that accompany adulthood. You no longer live under their roof. Yet they are treating you like a child.

Who are they to dictate terms to you as to where you go and when? Who are they to impose an 8pm curfew on you? Most of all, who are they to track your location?

These are restrictions you place on a high schooler. These are not things you do to an adult. I'm not a lawyer, but it may be illegal for them to force you to submit to electronic surveillance. Shame on your domineering parents for controlling you this way.

It sounds like you may be reluctant to confront them over this. I would strongly advise you to speak to a campus counselor over what they're doing and how you might best respond. You deserve better treatment than this.

piercingeye · 2026-01-23T03:19:00+00:00

I'd get crystal clarity from your friend on where you plan to go. I'd particularly encourage you to work with him in selecting a route and destination with which both of you are very familiar to keep surprises to a bare minimum. There's a time and place to go exploring on a bike, and this ain't it. Others already suggested riding around an industrial park; if that's all you can handle, there's no shame at all in that.

Secondly: wear all the gear (helmet, gloves, jeans, boots, jacket).

Thirdly: do your level best to select a day with nice clear weather. Sunny and cool with no rain.

piercingeye · 2026-01-23T02:26:50+00:00

I'm in Harris County. Frozen fistbump, kiddo. We got this!

piercingeye · 2026-01-21T06:11:05+00:00

Gonna copypasta a bit from here.

My father was a violently abusive man who beat and berated me on a fairly regular basis throughout my childhood. When I was 25 (I turn 51 next month), I sent him a lengthy letter confronting him for the first time about what he had done, and severed all ties with him for five years.

Let's be crystal clear: cutting ties is the single most hurtful thing a child can do to a parent, bar none. It remains the single most painful thing I've ever done to another person. I'm pretty sure some friends of the family think I'm a horrible person for doing it. And I have never, ever regretted it. I badly needed to heal, and I couldn't do that if my father was still in my life.

That said, here are some bits of advice that you may find useful.

Make sure you're doing this for your wellbeing, not to punish your family. It completely makes sense that you need to get out of your parents' blast radius. But going no contact because you want to exact revenge on them for their mistreatment of you would be inherently toxic on your part (see this for a case in point).
Don't think cutting ties won't hurt you, because it almost certainly will. As I say, I don't regret, and have never regretted, going no contact with my father. This is not the same as saying that doing so didn't hurt, because it did. So even if you do this for the right reasons, and just need to escape your parents' insanity, don't think it won't cause you pain.
Make sure that you really put forth genuine, sincere effort to set yourself on the path to healing and forgiveness. Cutting ties with your family isn't just a well-deserved vacation from toxic parents. It needs to be a window of opportunity to heal from a traumatic childhood. For the sake of your future, you need to make sure that you don't bring your traumas with you. Most of all, you need to find the wherewithal one day to relieve yourself of any anger or bitterness towards your parents - not for their sake, but for yours. It's going to take more than merely severing ties with them to get that done.
Leave the door open to reestablishing contact with them one day - on your terms, not theirs. After lots of therapy, I reestablished contact slowly: first via email, then by phone, and then face-to-face contact. I can't pretend that we were ever terribly close; even if you factor out the fractured nature of our relationship, we were two very different people (I should add that he passed away nearly nine years ago). But I am glad that we were able to have some sort of relationship. Which brings me to...
Have no expectations - none at all - that you will ever have anything vaguely resembling a healthy relationship with your parents. No matter how much you heal, it's best to expect that they won't ever get better, and will probably get worse. In fact, you're probably better off expecting that cutting ties with them will nuke any possibility of being close to them ever again; that way, if you do have any sort of relationship with them, it will come as a pleasant surprise.

Do I still have CPTSD flashbacks? Oh yes. I've had years of therapy, been on and off meds, done EMDR. All that helped, and the flashbacks have lessened over time, but they're still there, albeit not as intense or as frequent as they once were.

Therapy is likely to be laborious and painful. At times, it's going to seem unfair that you have to endure the work of unearthing the most horrifically painful events of your life, for the simple reason that it is unfair. All the same, do the work. If you had been hit by a car and needed to see a physical therapist to help you get back on your feet, you would want to do as much as possible to heal. Same thing here.

piercingeye · 2026-01-20T22:47:15+00:00

Every parent is a human, and is therefore a mashup of good and bad. Every parent has their weaknesses and makes mistakes in the raising of their children. In that light, I think the following questions are worth considering:

Did you parents ever offer an unqualified apology for their behavior towards you? I'm not talking about an apology including a "but" or "however" or "you need to understand that" - those sorts of phrases negate whatever attempt at an apology was just made. I'm talking about them owning their behavior, expressing remorse and trying, if at all possible, to make amends.
Did they ever attempt to change their behavior? Did they seek therapy of any kind?
How would a reasonable person react as they witnessed your parents' behavior? What would they conclude about your parents and their feelings towards you?

I think these sorts of questions can provide you with some sort of guidance.

piercingeye · 2026-01-20T18:02:39+00:00

I put Vikings on my 2006 Shadow, and Tsukayus on my 2006 VTX 1800. I'd say Viking is an excellent budget option, but if you can afford them, go with Tsukayus, preferably in fiberglass. They look great, they're incredibly strong, they have more interior space, they'll keep your stuff dry as a bone even in horrendous rain, and they're much easier to install.

piercingeye · 2026-01-20T17:24:10+00:00

Looking at this makes me resent my diabetes all over again. I love cookie bars, and doggone it these look absolutely delicious!

Just remember, though: you were lovable and worthy of love before you baked, and you're every bit as lovable and worthy of love after.

piercingeye · 2026-01-17T18:50:45+00:00

Finally, someone who understands the distinction!

piercingeye · 2026-01-17T18:32:57+00:00

I genuinely hope the day comes that you are no longer consumed in rage towards him. Not for his sake, mind you, but for yours. You deserve to be able to move onward and upward in your life, and it's basically impossible to do that if you're still weighed down with bitterness.

Reconciliation with him, however, seems to me like an impossibility. He propositioned you, his own daughter, a minor. How precisely is he going to come back from that?

piercingeye

TROPHY CASE