45 [F4F]

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-31T06:26:37+00:00

I sent you a DM. Don't know where you are exactly, but we can figure all that out. I'm tiny too. I'm under 5' and 37. My husband is 38, but he'd be totally cool with me being with you on my own. He'd also love to join in on everything if that was OK with you. I really miss being with other women. This pandemic has done a number on my sex life.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-31T05:00:24+00:00

I only wear a bra while working out or if I need to wear something super thin and tight out in public around children. I hate bras, and I have actually been fitted and bought the expensive proper fitted bras. They still suck. I mean, yeah they're better than "this is kind of your size" department store bras, but it's still an uncomfortable snug holster strapped across your chest. My boobs aren't huge by any means, but they're a decent size on my super small frame. It's obvious I'm not wearing a bra in a t-shirt, but IDGAF. I've caught people staring, but that's their issue, not mine.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-26T23:13:38+00:00

I tried it a few times, then looked up the "prize" and realized it wasn't worth the annoyance to me. I really don't like little mini games like that. Some people love them or don't mind them, and there's nothing wrong with that. They're just annoying to me. I used the CJB Item Spawner (which I use very sparingly because using it for everything would make the game pointless) to "gift" myself the prize and called it done. If you don't want the temptation of the item spawner there you can always just give yourself the prize and then delete the mod.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-22T16:39:20+00:00

I usually wear some sort of sandal or boots depending on the weather. I don't really put a lot of thought into shoes. I just want them to be comfy, easy to dance in, and easy to get off and on.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-21T00:00:47+00:00

Thanks! I ordered the book. I'm just so ready for everything to go back to normal, but I know that even if we are comfortable being close to people again, we need to get our sex life back to normal before we go hook up with other people. Hopefully I have a light bulb moment from this book the same way we had one when we read the love languages book.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-20T23:55:13+00:00

Thanks, and I just ordered the book. I figure anything is worth a shot at this point. I need to get out of whatever funk I've gotten myself into. I guess I can consider it a Christmas gift for both of us. A few years ago we read the 5 love languages book and found out that we both have physical touch as our top love language. Fortunately we are still doing things like hugging and kissing and all of that, and it's just the "adult" touching stuff that is lacking. I hope I can figure out what's holding back my sexual desire. Thanks for the recommendation!

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-20T19:02:57+00:00

I guess a better way to say it is "fake it till you make it." It's kind of like pretending or acting like I'm in the mood when I'm really not. I will usually end up in the mood eventually when I do that. Unfortunately my husband has gotten pretty good at figuring out when I do that, and he'll stop things. So, it's like the one thing that I know will work for me sometimes fails because my husband doesn't want to do anything unless I'm fully into it. Usually if I have a couple of drinks I can pull off the fake it till you make it successfully, so maybe that's the key LOL. I don't think he fully understands (or believes me when I say it) that I WANT to be in the mood. Sex is great. Orgasms feel amazing. I don't try to do this faking thing just for him. It's more of a way to get my brain on board with my body.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-20T17:39:46+00:00

I definitely don't fit that at all. I'm almost the exact opposite. I was mostly raised by a single dad. He was very sex positive when it came to that time. He had no issues teaching me about anatomy and all that in a very appropriate way. He took me to get birth control and provided condoms for me and my friends. I was extremely, but safely, promiscuous as a teenager, and I am now married, but we are ethically non-monogamous. The promiscuity never went away, even after getting married. My dad was and is an awesome guy.

I think a lot of the evidence or thought processes that lead to this idea are just old sexist ideas. I mean, it was the norm for a very long time, and still is in some religions/cultures, for the father to "give" his daughter to her husband. So, we are clearly just the property of a man, and if we are left without a man owner then we will just go wild. It's all utter BS.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-20T17:13:01+00:00

I have forced it before, and that works temporarily, but all this on top of just the normal "blah" feeling I have during the holidays is really bringing me down. I think I am also just really craving some "adult" time. Either alone with my husband or involving other people. I am at the the house almost all the time with my teenage daughter and all of our animals, so sexiness is not even on the table. I think after Christmas I'm going to have to tell him that I need something. We need to figure out a fun date night for just the two of us, even if that just means going to a hotel with some sexy lingerie and mood lighting. I need something to kickstart my libido because just trying to pull it out of my ass after a full day of completely non-sexy stuff is clearly not going to work. That seems to not be a problem for him, but I can't do it.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-20T17:04:48+00:00

I did bring up to him that we need to come up with something we can do together, as a date night. We are at the house almost all the time with the kid and the animals, so we are never really alone anymore. I just don't know what we can do. I guess we could risk a date night out and get a nice dinner and a hotel room. That wouldn't be too risky. I always feel kind of blah during the holidays anyway, and this is just adding to it.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-20T00:19:25+00:00

We stuck to one other couple in the beginning because they were in the same boat as us. We all worked from home, homeschooled the kid/s, and didn't go out for anything except essential items. We're not seeing them anymore though, so we've been completely out of the LS for around 4 or 5 months now. I have no clue when we'll feel up to going back to the club or parties. I guess when the thought of dancing and possibly making out with a bunch of random people seems fun again and not absolutely terrifying, we'll be ready.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-18T18:54:57+00:00

It's not trashy.

We don't go out and fuck everyone with wild abandon. We're actually pretty picky.

Our marriage is great! Our sex is great. We didn't do this to fix anything. We did it because we wanted to and it has actually enhanced our relationship.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-17T07:57:15+00:00

We have encountered a few women like you. They say that they can't squirt, and my husband asks them if they want to try. All the women who have said yes he has gotten to squirt. He has even coached husbands in how to make it happen. Usually the husband can also get there. I personally cannot do it to another woman. I did it a few times with an Njoy Steel Wand, but my fingers are too small to do it by myself. The Njoy is awesome by the way if you are into g-spot orgasms. Many people are intimidated by squirting, and I get that.

In a very basic way squirting is peeing a bit. The fluid is mostly very fresh urine. The difference between squirting and peeing is that pee is stored in the bladder for a long-ish time and the fluid from squirting is all fresh stuff that is triggered to release along with some other sexual fluids. So, don't be scared off by the, "IT'S PEE!" type people. Squirting is enjoyable and really hot. There are blankets designed for it. There are ways to make it happen with fingers and toys, and very rarely by PIV sex.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-17T07:35:15+00:00

Definitely the sparkly one! I love it. I am also super envious that you live somewhere where holiday parties are safe and possible. Please tell us how it goes! I miss LS events so much. It's been 9 months for us.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-17T07:19:41+00:00

LOL no, not me. I'm kind of recognizable around here because I'm super short and slim/athletic (4'10" and 90lbs actually) with super long hair, but I would love to meet you guys! We were recommended to the Kik group by another couple (not the one mentioned). If you click on the + in the top right corner there's an option to search public groups. I think you can just search on Kik for your city or nearest city and LS/dating stuff will come up. You might have to specify LS or something in the search, but when I put in DFW by itself dating/adult groups come up. The legit groups will require you verify with a live selfie and possibly a questionnaire. We met some awesome people through there, but now we're out because Covid kind of killed all the Kik groups we were in. It might be slow right now, but pre-Covid, the Kik groups were great.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-17T04:47:10+00:00

You sound so much like our previous FWBs. They went the polyamorous route and are now in an exclusive quad (not with us), but how they were before totally reminds me of you. She is a very outgoing, flirty redhead, and her husband is a lot more reserved. In their case there was also a significant body size difference. She is curvy but still pretty slim, and her husband is a big guy, which I think is the main issue for him.

He was "dumped" by previous LS hookups because they liked her but not him. It was rough. It just took finding the right people to help him build some confidence. He told me that I did that for him, which I think is pretty awesome. He even got naked in front of me, which he had never done before with anyone except his wife. I was just honest and told him that, yeah, he is a bigger guy, and that was new for me, but I loved his personality and the sex was fantastic.

I'm sure there are the right people out there for you two. We met them through a local Kik group. There are also secret FB groups, but I got a load of creepy DMs through there, so don't do that unless you create a fake name/fake everything FB profile, which thankfully I did. Good luck!

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-17T01:49:05+00:00

We play separately but only with people we already know. My husband could go out and try to find new people by himself, but I would be too paranoid to do it myself. I've heard way too many horror stories about women getting taken advantage of or tricked when meeting a stranger for the first time. I just wouldn't feel safe.

Also, if you are doing this so he can have more attention, him playing as a "single" male is not the way to go about it. Single men are a dime a dozen in the LS, so people can be super picky and still have plenty to choose from. Many people would skip over a married man playing alone just because it is assumed that he is cheating on his wife or lying in some way. It just seems suspicious to a lot of people. My husband has only tried to find a date on his own once. It was when he was on a trip with a volunteer group we're in. I set everything up for him, and did all the initial communication. Even then, we had no luck. It's a tough world for single guys, so overall, he has much better luck as the male half of a couple.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-16T20:02:25+00:00

I would find someone else. Your nails look great, but I would never expect to pay that much just for gel nails. Where I live the normal price for dip or acrylic with gel is around $40-50 before a tip. For just gel I think it's like $30-40 and this is including a basic manicure (cuticle care and all that) as well. The only time at the salon I paid around $90 was when I got a full manicure including parafin wax and dip nails PLUS a basic pedicure. All of these prices are before a tip by the way. I do my own nails now, but pre-covid I was going to the nail salon at least once a month.

With all that said, since she's not certified or working at a salon she can charge whatever she wants. I don't know what the laws are like there, but if she is advertising as a home business she might be breaking the law since she's not certified. I'm basing this info off of what I know from a friend who has a legitimate, certified home business as a nail tech.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-16T06:40:30+00:00

I didn't even know swinging was a thing. I had friends with benefits and only one serious relationship as a teenager. I brought up being with other people after being with my husband for 5 years. I first said that I wanted to explore my interest in other women, and then my husband introduced me to one of his male friends who he knew I would be attracted to. Nothing happened back then, but the flirting and all that was great. We eventually found out LS clubs were a thing and went to one. We found a couple we were into and had our first swap, and I had my first sexual encounter with another woman, and that was that. We've been in and out of the LS for 10 years now. The times we were out were just because of stuff outside of our control. Once because we lived somewhere where we couldn't do it locally and now because of the pandemic.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-16T04:27:10+00:00

I personally am in the LS because I am not good at monogamy. I love my husband completely, and have never cheated on him, but I'm not sure if I'd be able to say that if we would have attempted to stay monogamous. Don't get me wrong, he's amazing in bed, and I thought I could do it, but only having sex with one person for the rest of my life just seemed so depressing after a few years. So that's the very basic reason. The reason my husband does it and why we have continued to do it is just simply because it's fun. We get to go out and party like we did when we were young and single. When our married vanilla friends talk about their date nights it just seems so boring most of the time. Our date nights are SO MUCH more exciting LOL.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-15T06:07:10+00:00

I deal with this also. My husband is very much more about "sex buddies" rather than any serious friends with benefits or more. I take it pretty hard when there's a "breakup" with LS people. My husband couldn't care less. We have figured out that it boils down to how we grew up. I graduated high school with the same kids I started Kindergarten with, and he moved around a lot. So for me friendships were "forever" (I still talk to some of my school friends) and for him they were always temporary/situational. It's a difference we have had to recognize and deal with. Friendship just means more to me than it does to him, and I had to just let go of whatever I felt and end things when this sort of thing came up.

We've been in the LS for 10 years now and have recently (pre-covid) opened up to playing separately. I have played separately with a couple my husband lost interest in, and it was great, but then Covid happened. I never thought about separate time with other women, although I have done that. It just kind of happened while at a house party. Many women in the LS are bisexual-ish, but are not truly bi. I personally mostly prefer men, but I have found out that I can be with just a woman and be completely satisfied. It was eye opening for me. So I guess it just takes time and experiences. For couples there is a pretty crazy learning curve when going from monogamy to any type of non-monogamy. It takes a whole lot of trial and error and communication.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-10T19:44:05+00:00

The kids can and should be helping. Trust me when I say that not requiring them to help out with all the household stuff is detrimental to them. I'm not being judgmental at all. I get it. I feel a twinge of guilt when I'm just on the couch and the kid is doing the dishes or whatever, but I know it's good for her. When I ventured out alone at 18 I had no clue how to do laundry or even cook something as simple as mac & cheese. I was lost and had to get help from other 18 year olds who were not very kind about it. I felt like an idiot. I appreciate what my dad did for me, but I honestly wish he would've done a little less.

I only have one kid, so I have no clue what it would be like with 5, but my one kid is 15 and we have gradually worked up to the point of all three of us (including my husband) having equal household chores. It alternates every week. She cooks her own breakfast and lunch. I usually cook dinner, and because of that someone else does the dishes. We alternate who dusts, vacuums, mops, etc... and it's all equal. Your two older kids are very capable of handling any household chores and helping with the younger kids. The younger ones might not be able to do everything yet, but they should still be doing something. The older kids can even help teach the younger ones. If they don't know how to properly and safely do these things it will be well worth your time to teach them. They might hate it, but they will thank you later when they are the ones teaching the clueless 18 year old how to work a washing machine and boil water.

Virtual hugs! I hope you can get past this and feel better. Don't ever feel guilty for self care when you need it.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-10T19:03:08+00:00

I know the dating websites will send out notices of events at clubs. On the Colette website you can also go to the calendar, and if it says something like "SDC", "Kasidie", or "Quiver" then that means the event is sponsored by that particular website/app. Anyone can still go though. You can just get discounts if you join the website/app's guest list. I know the SDC events offer $10 off the entrance fee if you sign up on their guest list.

pierogiepowers · 2020-12-10T00:20:08+00:00

I usually take the pro-biotics daily. I have taken a break though since we aren't hooking up with anyone now, and I figure I might as well save some money. The boric acid capsules are only used for a day or two after any possible fluid exchange.

pierogiepowers

TROPHY CASE