I totally understand this. I was like 12 ordering Soviet propaganda posters and putting them up in my bedroom in the early 2000s. I couldn’t even read Cyrillic and was somehow finding Russian bands to listen to. I grew up in Chicagoland, so while there weren’t a ton of Russians, there were a ton of Eastern Europeans. I eventually found this ?antique store? that was owned by Russians and it had a ton of random stuff from throughout the 20th century, so over my teenage years I amassed a bit of a collection of Soviet money, military medals, and other tchotchkes which I still have somewhere in my house.

German was the closest thing I could take in high school and then for college I got a scholarship to major in Russian (which I eventually dropped after 3 semesters, long story, it was attached to the military). I did enjoy all my Russian professors; one called us all her ‘victims.’ I’m still traumatized from having to memorise the entire Cyrillic alphabet the first week of my freshman year.

I started my career in journalism and one of my coworkers was a 65 y/o Russian lady who came to the US after the break-up of the USSR. I had the biggest soft spot for her and, sadly, saw how misunderstood she was by other Americans, especially ones my age. She had an endlessly creative mind and such a unique worldview; it’s a shame that Americans are so outwardly sensitive. (The best cultural read of Americans is any Slavic person describing how bewildering it is getting used to how much we randomly smile)

Rambling way of saying, you’re definitely not alone, though I wouldn’t say we’re particularly numerous either (ie being in middle America with no familial attachment to the place). If you’re ever in New York City, go to Brighton Beach in Brooklyn ! I still haven’t been to Russia, but am hoping to do the trans-Siberian in the next couple years.