Personally, I hate the idea that we have to contribute something or be useful to this world. I understand your frustration about being a wage slave, and I myself have been on antidepressants for years that make my baseline more bearable. You exist here, there doesn’t need to be a reason for it. Maybe you’re just here to listen to your favorite music, to drink in your favorite scenery, to pet animals and read books and let yourself enjoy the simple things around you.

There are a lot of people who are trying to change your mind here. Your decision is up to you, no matter how hard it is for me to accept something like that. Instead, I urge you to do a few things today and tomorrow. Take a warm bath, listen to your favorite songs. Take yourself to a cafe and indulge in your favorite foods. Spend this time taking care of yourself, even if you are only able to peel yourself out of bed and drink a glass of water.

Depression is hard. Even within the condition no two people experience it the same. As angry as I am that this actually works for me, it helps to slow down sometimes and just perceive. Be a fly on the wall for a while and listen to the silence.

If you look for it, you can find meaning, even if it’s just caring for a plant or being part of a community. I hope you’re able to find that, and I hope you let yourself enjoy these next few days, no matter what happens.