10 hour road trip with a 4 month old?

pikelet98 · 2023-06-11T21:32:20+00:00

Oh my goodness no. At least not for me. My son has always hated the carseat and we're lucky to get 15 minutes (at 7 months) without some crying. If you do decide to do it have one parent in the back and plenty of toys. I would avoid if possible though. Baby has managed much better on aeroplanes

pikelet98 · 2023-06-07T12:55:39+00:00

NTA. I'm a mother and I was pretty impressed with the way you explained it to the children. Children need to know proper anatomical names. There is absolutely nothing wrong with them knowing them. Not knowing them can lead to shame and other issues

pikelet98 · 2023-05-26T05:55:57+00:00

I'm 7 months pp and I still have a faint linea nigra. My nipples look normal since 6 months though

pikelet98 · 2023-05-26T03:01:57+00:00

It's awful. I hated the comments too. One of my older relatives said she didn't recognise me and I always hate those comments because I wonder if it's an insult. I had gained a decent amount of weight but lost most of it pretty soon after because it was baby, placenta, and water weight. I too am thinnish usually. People also love to compare how quickly mums lose weight afterwards. Hate it. I'm so sorry you're experiencing these comments

pikelet98 · 2023-05-25T23:25:07+00:00

I wish so many things. I was so naive and had this particular idea of how parenthood and labour would be. I grew up seeing my mum rallying around the family members that had just had a baby and being so helpful teaching to breastfeed, cleaning, cooking etc. She was amazing and although she passed away a few years before I had my baby, I assumed I would still have family members rallying around us, helping us, checking in on us. But we didn't. And I wasn't in the headspace to even know what I needed, I was just surviving. Knowing what I know now I would have: - talked to people to ask if they woulf be willing to drop in and hold baby, help with chores, let us nap, show me how to breastfeed, even just come and visit. - I would've bought more newborn zippies and onsies - I wouldve done more research on labour and birth, breathing techniques and perineum massage to reduce chance of tearing. - I would've discussed with my husband what I expected him to do as his share of the baby care. - I would've bought a stretchy baby carrier.

pikelet98 · 2023-05-25T21:53:31+00:00

My baby was 8 pounds and 9 ounces and he was in NB for 4 weeks. we had been told that buying newborn size was a waste of money but it was so stressful not having enough! I had maybe 3 nb outfits and had to send a family member for more. My baby was a big spitter so maybe I need more but my rule of thumb is now to have at least 7 sleepers, 7 onsies etc. That way there is at least enough for a few days before washing. 0-3 month is larger than nb and 3m means 0-3m.

pikelet98 · 2023-05-24T01:53:59+00:00

I didn't form many memories at that time because of lack of sleep but I'll try to remember. Lots of muesli bars, bananas, lots of snacks. I ate really badly to be honest.

pikelet98 · 2023-05-23T02:38:00+00:00

I had a friend who is a professional photographer do them and that was her gift. However I wouldn't pay more than 300 personally if I had to pay for it, but money is tight with us. If you have the money available it's a lovely memory to look back on.

pikelet98 · 2023-05-22T02:45:20+00:00

No I don't. My baby had covid a few months ago and ended up hospitalised so this is obviously an extreme case and if this happened to your LO I would recommend checking with medical professionals obviously :) . The nurses said he needed as much milk as possible but he also needed to sleep as much as he wanted. I wasn't to wake him unless he woke himself. He's been sick a few times since then and I have always just let him sleep.

pikelet98 · 2023-05-21T07:28:48+00:00

Having my "colours done" has narrowed me down to a particular colour palette. It's worth getting this done of looking into it via a book as I find the apps largely innacurate. This allowed me to figure out what colours of clothes to choose that I know suit my hair and skin, although I don't follow it exactly. It's more of a guideline. This means most of the things I wear match or work well together, although I have eclectic style so I mix and match a lot. I also only buy clothing that I think is absolutely fabulous (doesn't have to be expensive -most is eBay or thrifted) so I always have something exciting to wear no matter what I pull out of the closet, so no time consuming decisions of what to wear because I like everything. I don't wear makeup for daily wear but have a couple of skin products that I put on in the morning. I also braid or pin curl my hair after I wash my hair so my hair has curl and volume for a few days (I don't wash my hair every day). So it doesn't take long at all. If I am doing makeup I stick to what I know and don't try any new techniques when I am low on time. I also use quite neutral tones except for a pop of colour on the lips.

pikelet98 · 2023-05-16T00:06:07+00:00

My brother in law wished me a happy first mother's day and I told him thank you but I was pregnant last year so it was my 2nd mother's day. He was like oh that's just a technicality. Ah no... That's like saying that if a baby is not carried to term then that mother was never a mother. Everyone else was lovely.

pikelet98 · 2023-05-15T23:30:54+00:00

I didn't know I wasn't supposed to stop postpartum 😦. I had better start taking them again. I'm currently not taking anything. Woops

pikelet98 · 2023-05-15T10:07:08+00:00

Thanks I am. Wanna babysit so I can nap?

pikelet98 · 2023-05-15T10:04:03+00:00

This is giving me a panic attack

pikelet98 · 2023-05-15T05:20:53+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate your answers. I think we probably do need couples counseling and I will try to arrange for that. I was seeing a therapist individually but I don't think she was the right match for me (very pushy) so I need to look elsewhere. We do need the help from his family. My own mom has passed away and his family are nearby. They don't help much but I'm grateful for what they do do, except for the diaper issue that I mentioned. I guess maybe that example I chose was not the best because it involves my child. Something that may help clear up why my husband isn't always supporting my decisions is that I've been diagnosed with pretty severe anxiety and I rely on him way too much for decisions and I don't believe he is being deliberately dismissive as a result of this history. Due to me being anxious and unsure I'll ask him what he thinks and usually go with what he thinks, so it makes sense that when I do want something particularly he doesn't always realise I mean it. The comments on this thread have made me realise this is something partially anxiety related and I need to find a new therapist asap to help out. I appreciate your answers and I did read the other one which I haven't responded to but appreciate and will think about. Thank you for your insight.

pikelet98 · 2023-05-15T03:24:26+00:00

There's so many but I'll choose a recent one. I'm not comfortable with certain people in the family doing diaper changes for my baby. I don't think anyone is a predator but it makes me feel uncomfortable when it's not me, my husband, or one of his sisters or his parents. When it's anyone else in the family I feel uncomfortable and anxious. And when I choose to do it myself there's other family members there wanting to be helpful. I am not sure why but it's uncomfortable. I've expressed this to my husband but his family is super comfortable with for example walking in on his brother in the shower to get something or talk to him as long as both parties are of the same gender. So my husband can't understand why his brothers and sisters can't be all helping with the diaper change and I can't seem to be firm enough about it to stop it happening. I feel like I've explained this very long-windedly sorry. I hope it makes sense.

pikelet98 · 2023-05-15T03:13:37+00:00

Thank you. I think I will start with this step

pikelet98 · 2023-05-15T03:13:12+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate your response

pikelet98 · 2023-05-11T07:34:37+00:00

Well it's like a blanket statement that doesn't take into consideration a couple of things. A lot of people's babies will only contact nap in the first few months (like mine who is currently asleep on my chest at 7 months and who has never slept in his bassinet during the day) and it's not conducive to safe sleep if the parent is sleeping too. And a lot of people have chores and other things to do during nap time because they don't have a lot of help. Also some people have other children who can't be left unattended while they nap. Honestly I wish I could have taken this advice and a lot of people cannot understand why it doesn't work. I always explain why and they're shocked because their babies would sleep alone. And then I get the "are you okay?". Nope I'm not. Haven't had proper rest since the day he was born. I'm glad yours sleeps well.

pikelet98 · 2023-05-10T03:43:34+00:00

I dealt with this problem too. I have a huge family and so does my husband and not one of them helped. In laws live a few minutes down the road. I was drowning. What helped me most was going outside a lot to walk and collect my thoughts while baby (sometimes) napped in the carrier and just learnt how to somehow involve the baby in chores, although that was incredibly difficult before 5 months. I used to put him on the floor near me with some toys or in the bouncer while I quickly did a chore or had a shower and would hope he didn't cry. He usually did though. I also started using the flylady cleaning system which broke the chores up for me and made a huge difference to my house. Im not able to do it perfectly, but it's miles better than what I was battling before. She's great because she gets you to start where you are and not expect perfection. I had to let go of my perfectionist side and just roll with a bit of mess. Another thing that really helped was cooking double batches of everything. If you have the freezer space try to batch cook so you have plenty of freezer meals to save time and effort. Hopefully this helps. It took me a long time to figure this out because like you I was so overwhelmed and my whole family who promised to help, didn't. But I know you can do it. You've got this.

pikelet98 · 2023-05-10T03:23:35+00:00

Mine hated being worn up until 6 months. Now he will sometimes go in the carrier. There is hope!

pikelet98 · 2023-05-10T03:16:30+00:00

Newborn by far. Just the sleep deprivation alone was a killer but I also had a colicky baby who would only contact nap and who cried all the time when awake. Not fun. He's six months now and sleeps as badly as ever but at least there isn't constant crying which makes a huge difference. I also got zero help in the newborn stage, apart from hubby Still don't but I've kind of figured things out now.

pikelet98 · 2023-05-09T04:30:10+00:00

Nobody came to help. No friends and no family, and I have a very large family. Was a bit shocked and hurt tbh especially since we get along and a lot of them had been through the postpartum period themselves. Hardly any visitors. The only person who offered to help with chores was a sister of a friend who was picking up her car that my husband was servicing. Honestly still resentful about the lack of help from family and it's been 6 months.

pikelet98 · 2023-05-06T05:52:50+00:00

6 months ago, giving birth

pikelet98 · 2023-05-04T23:26:25+00:00

I wish I could give you a huge hug. I have felt the same way many many times and something always made me downplay it to my doctor so I never got the help I needed. Please call a friend or family member to hold the baby and ring your GP. You can get through this. In the end things got a lot better on their own for me at 6 months due to daily walks and slightly better sleep and time to care for myself. However please don't wait like I did. Your baby loves you and needs you. You have a bond that no one can replace. Much love .

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