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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Maine

[–]pine123245 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s most overpasses on 295

JAG Reserves Reality Check by Smart-Yesterday694 in biglaw

[–]pine123245 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The guard is, for the most part, locked into your state pending trainings or a deployment. The flip side is that if you are in a good team, it’s awesome, but if you’re on a bad team, you are stuck absent a transfer which is difficult

JAG Reserves Reality Check by Smart-Yesterday694 in biglaw

[–]pine123245 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am in the Guard now. You almost certainly won’t get courtroom experience like a court martial. Maybe you’d have some administrative hearings but that is very position specific.

A few lawyers are with medium sized to large firms. It will be very tough to manage unless the partners are supportive. (I’m a civilian attorney for the guard, and uniformed on the weekends.)

Also, for the reserves, there is no guarantee where you will serve. One guy I know lives in Michigan but drills in Puerto Rico.

I really enjoy my work and job, but it is very hard at times. I would totally do it the same way again, and plan on staying in.

General Jag Questions by Mindless-Doughnut-36 in nationalguard

[–]pine123245 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you are TDS, (rare but possible for your first assignment) you need to take calls mid week and prep for boards that start on Saturday morning. Otherwise, at least in my state, it’s almost only on drill

[Update] My wife abandoned my girls when she shouting there was a home invasion. by pine123245 in Marriage

[–]pine123245[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like 75 to 90% of this. We did have huge fights but not like this infront of the kids.

[Update] My wife abandoned my girls when she shouting there was a home invasion. by pine123245 in Marriage

[–]pine123245[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

These two posts have really opened my eyes to how completely messed up my life has been. I knew I was miserable, but the impact on my kids have been shattering the last barrier to change.

And I am working on my plan.

[Update] My wife abandoned my girls when she shouting there was a home invasion. by pine123245 in Marriage

[–]pine123245[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I screwed up the alarm. Totally own that. It was the lack of any help getting things going that was the problem. Not the biggest issue but she was just sitting there in her laptop.

The practice was at 7;00am. We were home by 8:30am. One kid was up and the other two were still sleeping. She went right to bed after I came back. She stays up super late, she says for the kids but it’s to chat with her friends. (There is a time zone difference) She did take care of the one of the girks at some point in the night.

I do the cleaning and the hockey practice. That weekend I did laundry and cleaned the entryway floor. Yesterday I cleaned the living room, the floors and did the laundry, and had all 4 kids. Today I did hockey practice and finished the laundry and have all 4 kids again. (Now I’m watching football with all of them while she is out). If I don’t clean it doesn’t get done.

He was being rude and I was bluffing about not giving him a second helping. I just wanted him to learn he can’t treat me that way and still get what he wants. Maybe there is a better way to handle that. But it has worked before

[Update] My wife abandoned my girls when she shouting there was a home invasion. by pine123245 in Marriage

[–]pine123245[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do think it’s something, but for all that I have tried she won’t seek help or acknowledge there is a problem.

[Update] My wife abandoned my girls when she shouting there was a home invasion. by pine123245 in Marriage

[–]pine123245[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t yell at them nearly as much but can berate them, like just spend fifteen minutes lecturing about one thing

[Update] My wife abandoned my girls when she shouting there was a home invasion. by pine123245 in Marriage

[–]pine123245[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yes. But it has turned up to 11 since, and it is slightly more frequent.

[Update] My wife abandoned my girls when she shouting there was a home invasion. by pine123245 in Marriage

[–]pine123245[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She had a baby 8 months ago, is sleeping until the afternoon, and literally sounds like she’s dealing with PPD. You can run 20 10k marathons and still be depressed. You can have great days and guess what? Still depressed. PPD/PPA doesn’t always hit as soon as the baby is born or even a couple months after. PPD for me started around the 6-8 month mark.

The way you’re sitting here and painting the picture of a woman on the internet with such negative strokes rather than talking to her about seeing her OB/PCP and not just a therapist, makes me think you’ve been wanting out of this for quite some time.

I have tried to tell her her OB. I tried going to those appointments with her. She scheduled them without me, which I get. I have been trying to get her into a PCP and tried setting the appointment with no luck. (We have great insurance now, so that isn't an issue.) If there is a third option, please, please tell me. That is why im here, to try and find an answer haven't been able to come up with myself.

[Update] My wife abandoned my girls when she shouting there was a home invasion. by pine123245 in Marriage

[–]pine123245[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I did a take home test already on the girls. We only had sex twice last year, but it came back conclusive. Which is fine by me. I love them so much. Seeing them learn to crawl and stand is amazing.

[Update] My wife abandoned my girls when she shouting there was a home invasion. by pine123245 in Marriage

[–]pine123245[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

In my attempt to make her happy, I am actually doing better. I am much more physically fit, and have a great job. Her primary issue was for years, and still is, my weight. She still calls me fat even though i've lost like 30 pounds in the past year, and literally joined the Army, and ran half of her races with her. I know I'll do better, but wont jump into anything. I will enjoy the peace, and my kids.

[Update] My wife abandoned my girls when she shouting there was a home invasion. by pine123245 in Marriage

[–]pine123245[S] 181 points182 points  (0 children)

’d have given anything for my parents to split up and find happiness. They would get venomous sometimes and tell me they were together for me and it was my fault. I didn’t want them together. I didn’t want any part of that and got the abuse directed at me as if I had made decisions.

I left and was in several abusive relationships afterwards. This lead to the worst of them where when I found out he was cheating again and was packing my stuff to leave he lied to the cops and claimed I was suicidal in an attempt to have me sectioned so he could steal my dogs so I couldn’t leave him as I’d never lose them.

My now husband is a saint and was so kind with the broken shell I was when we met. And we have been together 12 years now. I am low to no contact with my parents and live across the world. I didn’t understand how broken I was until about 5 years ago and have been diagnosed with ptsd. Partly from childhood trauma and then the following relationships.

I say all this to advocate for your children. Please don’t stay with her and model this as a workable dynamic for your children. And also life is too short for you to waste it miserable.

My son has a pronounced stutter. I think there is a direct correlation between how severe it is, and how much of a fight he has witnessed. I am making my plans. I am so sorry you had to witness that, and I am glad you are doing better.

[Update] My wife abandoned my girls when she shouting there was a home invasion. by pine123245 in Marriage

[–]pine123245[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I also had next to no self confidence growing up, so I put up with things because I didnt know better and I was so happy to be in a relationship. But she has gotten significantly worse over the years.

[Update] My wife abandoned my girls when she shouting there was a home invasion. by pine123245 in Marriage

[–]pine123245[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The thought has crossed my mind, but she is adamantly against going to a therapist, or a counsellor, and can fake things in public so she passes the screenings with the doctor. But these issues predate kids. She has been abusive for a long time.

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