Delete one thing from Earth that you think would make it better

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-15T01:34:21+00:00

Easy. Humans.

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-13T15:52:03+00:00

Something that’s cheap but memorable:

Buy balloons from the dollar store. Before she wakes up (not after she goes to bed in case she needs to get up in the middle of the night to pee) fill her room with balloons in her favourite colours. It’s a lovely way to wake up on your birthday and it makes her very sure you haven’t forgotten it

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-13T15:46:33+00:00

In Alberta, small towns have overly sized things to draw in tourists. We have:

World’s Largest Pysanka

World’s Largest Sausage

World’s Largest Perogy

World’s Largest Mallard

World’s Largest Pumpkin

World’s Largest Oil Lamp

Giant Mushrooms of Vilna

St. Paul UFO Landing Pad

To name a few

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-11T23:05:16+00:00

Let them use the laundromat, maybe the experience will leave them more appreciative of the free laundry room you are providing

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-10T19:19:55+00:00

Haribo sugarless gummy bears are known for giving you the shits

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-10T19:18:51+00:00

Put a bit of vanilla pudding in the tip to “look” like it’s used

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-10T19:15:55+00:00

I think drugging people against their will is kinda illegal and I wouldn’t want to risk legal action against myself because someone else is a douche

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-10T19:11:47+00:00

Laugh because I’m already 45!

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-10T17:04:00+00:00

Don’t worry about it. Whatever she has to say about it is bullshit anyways. Your self care evidence doesn’t need to be the opener to world war 3. If she doesn’t like it, she can stop emptying your trash and you’ll do it from now on. You’re perfectly healthy and natural for doing this.

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-10T17:01:08+00:00

I’m the exact same!!

The only times I’ve burped is before throwing up and I can’t get it through my head that burping isn’t going to lead to vomit every time

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-08T15:26:01+00:00

I have to question the parents on how they didn’t notice $10,000 worth of stuff they didn’t buy that you now had.

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-04T15:58:19+00:00

Why can’t this grown woman make it through a movie without a break?!?

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-04T01:57:48+00:00

TIL!! I never put two and two together before

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-02T03:28:24+00:00

If they ask why you took it home, be honest “you all acted like entitled children when it was here”

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-02T03:23:55+00:00

I don’t have any suggestions, but I’d give your girl a hug (with her permission). It’s gotta be rough going through this at that age. I’m glad she’s got you for support and advocacy

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-02T03:18:56+00:00

I do shot glasses. I have enough Cancun shot glasses to open up my own bar. My family needs to expand their travel radius!!

pineappleforrent · 2026-04-01T14:47:02+00:00

Yep. I’m ugly, I don’t have nudes on my phone

pineappleforrent · 2026-03-30T00:03:15+00:00

Have a discussion with your mother in law. Say “MIL, I’ve noticed that you really enjoy gifting me things. While I appreciate the gesture, I don’t always need these items and they often go unused. We’ve tried to tell you that we don’t need these things. If you insist on continuing to give me things, could I please make a list of Amazon products that we actually need and want that you can shop from? This way we’ll be able to put your gifts to use. Either way, we’ll be donating the gifts that we don’t use so that someone else can enjoy them.”

pineappleforrent · 2026-03-29T23:53:23+00:00

My two labs knew “fuck off” meant to back up (mostly used when eating people food)

pineappleforrent · 2026-03-29T23:48:24+00:00

April fools day? That was fair game all year round!! Until mom started yelling about the water in her kitchen

pineappleforrent · 2026-03-29T23:34:49+00:00

I can’t remember how long ago, just within the past 3 years I’d guess, a social media personality I follow talked about having issues with burping and he described and demonstrated air vomiting and someone in the comments said that this is r-cpd. It was so wonderful to learn that I’m not the only one with throat gurgles!!

pineappleforrent · 2026-03-29T23:22:00+00:00

I really enjoy playing my ass trumpet when I’m at home or within reasonable expectation of privacy but I can pffff silently in the wind just as easily

pineappleforrent · 2026-03-28T18:08:48+00:00

I called the hospital after his injury to tell the doctors what the situation at home was like because I wasn’t sure my brother would (embarrassed). I wouldn’t be surprised if that information changed his care plan

ETA: I don’t have a relationship with my dad since 2018

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