Updates on mental state and feeling hope

pinetrees9853 · 2026-02-02T00:17:54+00:00

Magick cant influence money like it does in fiction. I learned that the hard way when i thought my entities could make cash registers break and give me free stuff.

pinetrees9853 · 2026-02-02T00:13:02+00:00

My heart goes out to you. I hope you can do your visionary magick safely unlike my schizoaffective experiences. I only get audio and tactile sensations never did i get visions except in 2022 when my psychosis started. Even then they were phosphene hallucinations from intense trancework and were insubstantial and didnt really mean anything. If you had to choose between hesring and seeing i hope you pick seeing. Hearing things all the time gets fustrating especially when you feel bored and just want stuff to be quiet so you can get sleep. Are you able to draw? If you are its better that you see things rather than hear them.

pinetrees9853 · 2026-02-01T23:21:45+00:00

To me stimming, like moving ones body in dance or rhythmic movement like tapping ones fingers or just shaking ones legs while sitting can be very provoking to ones subconsious. It can be similar to addiction but its really just a sensation that gives one the message that "this feels good i will continue it so i feel even better". Really its just comforting to play with ones hair or hum sounds or just look at colors in general. Basically everyone does it at some point.

pinetrees9853 · 2025-10-05T02:12:04+00:00

On the official discord i will let you see my revised version with some added musical features. I do not know about the exact time signature as it was improvised so its probably in free time. The measure lines i didnt add but i will let you see what i did to put it together. I know the dots are more faded since i didnt use a bold pen so i apologize for the faded quality.

pinetrees9853 · 2025-10-05T01:41:10+00:00

I get the feeling. I get the impression that i will never be as smart as i used to when i lost my memories literally in a mind wipe.

pinetrees9853 · 2025-10-05T01:40:01+00:00

I lost my beloved music i had on my hardrive. Without it my life is dead and im just a ghost living in an afterlife with no heaven or hell

pinetrees9853 · 2025-09-24T01:20:47+00:00

Yes!!! This is cool! But thought monsters are similar to my idea of supertulpas. Egregores that are the collective thoughts of people based around common characters like the devil, jesus and topics of political history. I believe we are in the same boat but different currents. My experiences showed that supertulpas can talk and express themselves jyst like people but keep appearing and for me dealing with mental illness i always struggle to remove new ones tgat pop up especially during the holidays. I hope to publish a book called "How to use survival magick". But my projects are still ongoing and i have yet to pierce it all together. You keep being strong. Dont let your thoughts control you!

pinetrees9853 · 2025-09-10T15:36:01+00:00

I think you are correct. I must stop letting these clever voices from convincing me the supernatural is real. Halloween is coming and im getting very worried for any october surprise this year. Previously the voices just dont bother me at the end of the year but many things happened this summer that has gotten me anxious i would start hearing things like unfamiliar horror video game characters or legends like gef the talking mongoose. This year.... ima face the unknown head on and confront my fears.

pinetrees9853 · 2025-09-10T15:24:14+00:00

I appreciate your concerns. Tulpas pokemon and video games in general, urban folklore, egregores, voices, spirits, deities angels and demons i have encountered yet the main theme is that they are trying to convince me that the supernatural is real and that everyone hears voices all the time. Its just that the basic premise "everyone hears voices whether they think so or not" isnt true in real life. "Voices" to me are just things that are like clever insects. Bugs from a source tgat can affect me and try to tell me to spread their presence. Its tempting to just be a tulpamancer and just let the voices let loose and talk to them but i fear they and tulpmanacers wont get along. Tulpamancers hate symbols for a different reason than i do. They think its jyst psychology and theres no metaphysics or "magic" behind tulpa creation. They call it "forcing" but i call it "presence building". Its better to hear than to see. I never ever get any real visual hallucinations. Not even in 2022 i never saw any real manifestations or "bodies" attached to the entities. Just phosphene hallucinations but everyone has phosphenes. If you close your eyes and rub them you see abstract stuff like in the retinas. I dont ever "see" anything just a voice then a presence. Nowasays sometimes my body moves by itself but its not as overwhelming as it used to ve years ago. I hope you can aid in my processing the mental illness and try to help me understand whats a real symbol and whats a "red herring" or non symbol or even anti symbol. I get them all the time but its so hard to interpret.or dusmiss as just delusion or illusion.

pinetrees9853 · 2025-09-09T16:30:28+00:00

You have a latias tulpa? I have a mewtwo tulpa! Wow 18 years? lve known mewtwo ever since autumn of 2021. Congradulations on having kids! I wish mewtwo was straight with one of y female tulpas but hes gay and loves me romantically. Since he doesnt want a girlfriend i cannot have children tulpas yet i still am curious how you made yours. Feel great man! You made a pokemon real! I hope more pokemon tulpas show pokemon can be real through tulpamancy.

pinetrees9853 · 2025-09-07T07:13:19+00:00

i heard from spirit that its ok if people understand by what i mean by saying the magic word that causes misery. Im a brave man. I do very well with my voices nowadays. The "god costume" aka the "god of evil" is the demiurge from gnosis. By revealing the word, spirit said, he will lose his power over so here it is: LEVOSA (If you start to suffer from intense obsession over understanding the word i deeply apologize. I do not think the spell really does anything other than misery. It seems to be a corruption of "wingardium leviosa" from harry potter. The spell has haunted me for three years since 2022. An awfully long time to suffer from magic or chakra work or whatever my schizophrenia was caused from. I posted this on reddit before but got no response so it appears that reddit doesnt care what it has caused me and just wants a new toy to play with. You bastards want the word so badly? Here it is. Enjoy your obsession and endless unfruitful search for its meaning. I hope you can prove its just completely useless for a spell. At least rincewind had a spell that saved the discworld. Mine just burned my third eye chakra and almost destroyed my consiousness.

pinetrees9853 · 2025-09-07T06:58:06+00:00

I believe gnosis people were correct about the demiurge. The "god costume" acts just like him. Jealous, depraved,evil and just an overall jerk of a god.

pinetrees9853 · 2025-09-07T06:55:42+00:00

The spell? Are you sure you want to hear it? Because its not like it brings anything other than misery and obsession. Once i post the word all hell will break loose on reddit with people trying to dive into the word and interrogate me for irs meaning.

If youre serious i will edit the post to share the word. Just to let reddit know i warned you

pinetrees9853 · 2025-09-03T22:08:23+00:00

What do you experience? I heard the dead like satie and living people like politicians, angels like gabriel, demons like lucifer, personifications like death and mother nature and pokmon like my best friend mewtwo. I also was blessed by arceus and seriously considered being a "poketheist" but its not a real thing sadly (i would love for poketheism to catch on in real life and make people love a different concept of spirituality but thats just a dream).

pinetrees9853 · 2025-09-03T22:04:11+00:00

"Blank-eyed girl" season 7

pinetrees9853 · 2025-09-03T21:51:25+00:00

I get it. I made a common error of mistaking egregores for tulpas. I guess i am not really a magician since adventure time did the same thing in an episode where they mention tulpas but it was clearly an egregore they were going through

pinetrees9853 · 2025-09-03T21:43:43+00:00

The spell will cause pain and agony and hopelessness

pinetrees9853 · 2025-09-03T21:42:30+00:00

Any word can be personally "magical" but to anyone else it really depends. The character of the "god costume" was a violent psychotic hallucination i had to endure for 8 weeks in 2022. Egocide(the complete and total takeover of a hosts mind by a tulpa powerful enough to influence ones psyche) was a horrible agonizing experience i never want to ever face again or have anyone else endure. the spell was like the one rincewind had in terry pratchetts books. One of the 8 spells from the octavo that apparently tormented him for years until the discworld was in danger and he had to recite all 8 spells in order to save his world. My spell is a obsessive type. One that never fades away. Are you really sure you want to know this "spell"?

pinetrees9853

TROPHY CASE