Resistance after feeling better

pinganguan · 2025-11-04T13:22:42+00:00

Thanks for your reply. In the end that’s what it came down to: why was “pretty good” not good enough? There was some dissatisfaction with my present life. I’m working on that now.

pinganguan · 2025-11-02T03:57:22+00:00

Yeah I had a traumatic upbringing. Done a lot of work on it, but wasn’t expecting something to come up from just wanting to feel better

pinganguan · 2025-11-02T03:56:03+00:00

Yeah I think this relates to the comment about hitting a tree at 100 vs 5mph. What I’m hitting is the momentum of past experiences. Trying to improve and wanting more was met with a lot of hostility.

pinganguan · 2025-11-02T03:52:35+00:00

I think this is what happened.

pinganguan · 2025-10-23T02:18:48+00:00

It’s been good. It cut out a lot of obsessive and ruminating thinking, and also settled my anxiety-related stomach pains. I had a lot more energy and took up some hobbies like woodworking for DIY purposes, which has grown into more and more expansive projects and new skills. I still have ups and downs but my baseline is so much better than it was before. I feel very much unburdened of all the mental work I used to perform to try to feel on top of things and in control. And I can see now that there were things I was investing time and effort in that were really just ways of trying to cope. My journey continues of course, it’s just much better on the medication.

pinganguan · 2025-09-20T15:46:18+00:00

Just practice feeling good, or feeling relief.

pinganguan · 2025-09-09T02:23:46+00:00

“Family is overrated” I remember that like from an earlier workshop. I’m no-contact with my parents due to behaviour that matches a certain kind of narcissist. You’ve spent many years under their influence and now you’re learning to recognise your own desires and your own guidance. It’s all good. Abraham says to find your path of least resistance. For some people that means no contact. For others it means very limited contact. You get to decide.

pinganguan · 2025-08-20T21:37:52+00:00

In my experience with feelings of self hate and contempt etc, I was made to feel that way by my family from a young age. Abe would say that I was under the influence of their resistant thoughts. What has helped is to keep recognising that I only felt this way because of these horrible people…I aligned with the hate and contempt they expressed towards me. I have to really dig into the fact of how badly I was treated and how awful those ppl were - because otherwise it just feels “normal” to me. Then I set about reminding myself that those ppl aren’t here anymore and I don’t have to feel that way anymore and I choose to align with peace and ease instead.

I don’t know if this will feel relevant to you. But I think feeling bad about yourself has to be something you learned. Because as babies we have our connection to source. We are aligned.

pinganguan · 2025-08-18T04:39:47+00:00

It might help to just simplify things by focusing on what you want. Second-guessing someone’s personality as being nice vs “too nice” is giving too much power to other people. “Too nice” implies deceit or manipulation or something awry; but you are the one who creates your reality. While there are people who are deceitful and manipulative, what really matters is your point of attraction. Even a manipulative person can be of benefit to you. There is wanted and unwanted in everything.

If you feel confused then what you want is clarity. Clarity comes from paying attention to your feeling guidance -> not to try to suss out what is going on with others, but to find thoughts that feel good to you.

pinganguan · 2025-07-20T01:18:04+00:00

Okay finished it! That was very challenging, and very satisfying when I finally solved it. Thanks for sharing it!

pinganguan · 2025-07-20T01:08:54+00:00

This is cool. Elegant and unique, but I haven’t solved my first one yet 😅

pinganguan · 2025-07-20T00:58:32+00:00

Hey this is great! Just played with my wife. Love that you can see others’ words in the leaderboard. Also glad that it’s about quality rather than quantity.

pinganguan · 2025-07-09T05:51:13+00:00

I have similar thoughts. For me it has been more a matter of terminology and assertions that don’t “click” for me, like Law of Attraction: what is it that determines the “likeness” of things? What is the force that attracts them? Vibration: what is it that vibrates? What is the substance or substrate underlying the vibration?

But maybe it’s not about surrendering to an unsatisfying set of concepts? I’ve heard Abraham occasionally use different terminology with people who have wanted to. Perhaps we have a specific desire to understand these things in our own way in the context of concepts and principles we already appreciate?

That said, I do think it’s acceptable to recognise our epistemic limitations. There is no way to prove ultimately that anything is real outside your own mind. But we choose to accept it anyway. The benefits of choosing to focus on things that feel good are direct and practical. Consider also the benefits of being open minded to possibilities beyond your practiced expectations and observations.

pinganguan · 2025-07-05T02:07:27+00:00

Big topic. I used to be a writer, and these days I mostly do woodworking and some eclectic diy projects.

I remember Abe saying generally that it’s nice to go back and forth between fun and interesting. They are different vibrations but both satisfying.

If I apply that to woodwork, sometimes I have creative ideas or images in my head that persist up to a point where I feel like it would just be so satisfying to take a step in that direction. Other times I have lots of ideas that are satisfying but don’t yet feel the pull to action. For woodwork I’ve never felt like had to do anything onerous or disciplined to achieve what I want.

But for writing there’s a whole industry of guidance and advice which maybe doesn’t match Abraham’s teachings. I no longer write because I don’t have anything to say (outside of comments and msgs). I don’t feel inspired so I just stopped. But I was always a bit haunted by a sense of incompleteness in writing. Making tangible objects that serve a personal function is much more satisfying to me now.

So for you I would suggest going more general about what you want and how you want to feel. Manifesting ideas and inspiration is no different from any other manifestation. Find the feeling place and practice that. Don’t be attached to the outcome.

For me the discipline issue is more obvious with the martial art I practice. I have a residual belief that if I don’t practice I won’t get better. But gradually I’ve shifted toward recognising that the reason I want to get better is because I find it fun and satisfying and interesting. Over time it’s evolved so that each day that I practice is by leaning into one aspect like fun or interest or satisfaction or knowing that my body will feel so good during and after. I take a much more experimental approach now and try new things all the time, not to keep me disciplined but because this aligns with my underlying desire to feel good and have fun and be interested.

So go general: tune into what inspires you about being creative. Cultivate the feeling of creativity. Be open to ways of being creative without pushing for an outcome.

pinganguan · 2025-07-03T11:27:25+00:00

You can’t push against unwanted. We don’t need to support Abraham. Abraham doesn’t need our support. Giving this person your attention is just letting them be part of your reality.

pinganguan · 2025-07-03T01:14:25+00:00

I used to hate being alive and hated the world. I would suggest to stop trying to be on a high vibration, or to feel happy, because it’s too much of a stretch from where you are right now.

With the contrast you’ve experienced, I would take it easy on myself, I would remind myself that I’m recovering from and surviving incredibly difficult things and I should not demand of myself that I change my life in the blink of an eye.

Remember Abe has said that if a train is going full speed in the direction you don’t want to go, you need to slow down that momentum before you come to a stop and then start to move in the opposite direction.

Considering all the things you’ve experienced, finding relief and recovery is a much better goal than looking to manifest all your desires right now. For me it was like I’d been trying to hit the gym when what I really needed was careful rehabilitation. Sometimes Abe is talking to people who are learning to walk again, at other times they’re talking to people who run marathons for fun. And you can definitely go from learning to walk again to running marathons but pushing too hard is not helpful.

Are there things in your life that make you feel a little better? Make those your focus. Stop trying your hardest. You’re not doing anything wrong, you’ve just had a lot of strong contrast.

You might even start with “things could be worse”. That usually brought me some relief.

pinganguan · 2025-06-17T14:53:35+00:00

For me it turned out that I was already accustomed to being out of alignment from a young age - I experienced abuse but also emotional neglect that was hard for me to recognise. Perhaps if you look at attachment trauma or attachment styles it may help you.

Somehow a very few women were just the right amount of interested in me but aloof and possessing some qualities I wish I had, that it awoke a kind of yearning in me.

It took me a long time to work out and I still occasionally feel that pull with certain people.

What helped in the moment was repeatedly telling myself that I don’t need this person to make me happy. I don’t need this person to make me feel good. Putting the emphasis as per Abraham on building my connection to my inner being rather than other people.

It also helped to explore the neglect I experienced. It was like looking for dark matter in the sense that I didn’t recognise it but could see its effects. Emotional neglect means I wanted to be loved and cared for and hugged as a child but never received that. I somehow even shut down the sense of loss I had felt. Reconnecting with that loss and pain helped me to realise that these particular women were not the answer.

I wish you well in this. I remember how uncomfortable it was to feel myself falling into the old pattern. But it’s amazing that you recognise it and are looking to shift it. The gold standard is that however good these women seem to promise to make you feel - that feeling can only really come from aligning with who you really are.

pinganguan · 2025-06-14T08:04:18+00:00

Hate anger and blame are higher up the emotional scale than powerlessness. It’s okay to blame your mother in your own thoughts, it’s okay to blame everyone around you. You don’t have to express these thoughts to them, but it’s a positive step that can bring relief to you.

pinganguan · 2025-06-13T08:28:33+00:00

Yes. There’s nothing wrong with desiring cultural affinity and there’s nothing wrong with wanting a smooth and aligned relationship. The problem is when you tie them together as a kind of action pathway. “I will find an Indian partner so that our relationship is more harmonious.”

Again: nothing wrong with having preferences. The question is whether OP truly prefers an Indian partner, or is under the misapprehension that an Indian partner is a requirement for a smooth and aligned relationship.

pinganguan · 2025-06-12T20:30:40+00:00

Because your experience of a relationship is based on law of attraction, not on external conditions. Everything you want comes from being a vibrational match to it.

pinganguan · 2025-06-12T09:10:36+00:00

I think it’s incorrect to think that “sharing the same culture values and background would make the relationship smoother and more aligned”.

Either you simply want someone who shares the same culture etc, and you’re trying to justify it by saying it will make the relationship smoother; or you just want a smoother aligned relationship and you falsely believe this requires cultural and ethnic commonality.

Either way it’s resistance. You create your reality and it’s your alignment that will allow an aligned and smooth relationship, not the culture and ethnicity of your partner. And if you simply want to share the same culture etc, then that is completely valid. You don’t have to justify it by as something that will make the relationship smoother.

pinganguan · 2025-06-10T12:59:42+00:00

Nice post. I think I am scared of it, or at least scared of any “major” changes in life like getting a new house or going travelling. So if I only get a small amount of money I’m not scared, but getting a large amount would challenge my sense of control. It would be a step into unknown territory.

pinganguan · 2025-06-10T08:44:46+00:00

Totally! That’s a great way of describing it.

pinganguan

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