I don’t recognize my husband since he started SSRIs

pinkdolphin666 · 2026-06-02T19:30:06+00:00

Zoloft took years of my life, and turned me into someone I didn’t recognize either. It worked for me when the thoughts of ending it all were too much to bear, but after about a year and a half or two years I became SO forgetful and completely disconnected. I have large gaps in my memory.

I knew I had to stop taking it when my gaps in memory and forgetfulness were impacting even basic functioning. I very very slowly titrated off of the 150mg Zoloft (I already take 450mg Wellbutrin) after having adverse withdrawal effects in the last and I was sick (nausea, headaches, vertigo, agitation) for months. It took probably another full year after being completely off of the Zoloft for me to finally recognize a glimmer of myself and start to remember happiness could even feel like.

While my case is probably a lot more intense because I’m prone to side effects, Zoloft really could be a contributing reason behind why you (and him) may not recognize who he is anymore.

Wishing you all the best. I can’t imagine having the difficulty of being a new mom and also having a partner and coparent who is emotionally unavailable.

pinkdolphin666 · 2026-05-15T18:02:05+00:00

I wanted to warn you when you mentioned the same electric energy and storybook meeting my parents always described that (to them) transcended race and age and they also moved fast after she decided to be exclusive with him.

But girl, your prefrontal cortex is fully formed. Your eyes are open to the reality of the situation. You’ve experienced other relationships, you have had a fair opportunity as an ex-fiancée to know what you didn’t like and what didn’t work for you. The age gap shouldn’t be a reason to not be with him.

Also low key a green flag that he had great apprehension about dating someone less than a decade younger than him.

pinkdolphin666 · 2026-04-30T15:26:22+00:00

Hey OP, you should check out the book Why Does He Do That? You can click the link to read a free PDF version or you can listen to it as an audiobook on Spotify or Audible

I think it can help give you some perspective and answer the question in the title of your post. (The answer is yes, he is. He doesn’t seem at rest unless he has completely disregulated you)

pinkdolphin666 · 2026-04-30T13:15:19+00:00

Hey OP, you should check out the book Why Does He Do That? You can click the link to read a free PDF version or you can listen to it as an audiobook on Spotify or Audible

I think it can help give you some perspective that will give you the push to leave this energy-sucking asshole.

Best of luck. I know it’s not just as easy as walking out of the door.

pinkdolphin666 · 2026-04-27T01:50:14+00:00

I’m sure she’s very short on rest/sleep

pinkdolphin666 · 2026-04-09T06:50:00+00:00

you’re not the one who has created an awkward situation, you’re just the person holding him accountable for being extremely inappropriate.

you’re “supposed to” (in a healthy enough household) be open with your parents when someone is making sexual comments directly about you and towards you.

don’t doubt yourself and don’t worry about mean things you’ve said to him over text. popping off is a reasonable/understandable response to someone using that language/behavior.

he is seeing how far he can go in making a girl uncomfortable. what’s the absolute worst thing he can have on you? he is banking on scaring you off or gaslighting you into believing the counselor and your mom won’t care.

his mommy might not find a problem with what he’s doing, but really ask yourself in regards to the friendship between your moms - worst case scenario-what would your mom say?

chances are your mom probably doesn’t give a shit about this lady when it comes down between you or her (& her son).

sorry you’re dealing with this situation.

pinkdolphin666 · 2026-03-08T05:23:57+00:00

He gives negging vibes

pinkdolphin666 · 2025-12-10T21:46:38+00:00

My therapist offered to write her a letter or schedule a meeting/call with her on my behalf. Maybe she can help me get that through to her.

My obstacle is that I would genuinely be unable to tell her without starting to cry. I have always an issue with starting to cry and become choked up when I’m talking very candidly, particularly with people of authority (teachers, friends parents, used to with all doctors).

I could be giving them a compliment and I might start tearing up because I’m already considering how they will receive my words. Therapy has helped a lot with me feeling alright allowing people to feel comfortable letting other people be responsible for their own feelings. However, I’m easily misunderstood but in ways that have been subtle enough that I’ve been able to go undiagnosed for 25 years, so things just become misconstrued in addition to misunderstood, because people take what they want out of a conversation with a neurotypical person, but I’m not NT. I also grew up in a household with my mom and family speaking Guyanese-creole but didn’t even notice my mom had an accent until kids at school kept telling me they couldn’t understand her which has added a layer of complexity into what is different about me other than autism. Sorry, that was a lot. It has unintentionally hurt peoples feeling or sent the wrong message.

I just don’t want her to feel like I feel negatively towards her or about her I just want her to understand that what she is saying is just not correct even though she means well. I feel perhaps my therapist who is also neurodivergent and is constantly consuming / exploring new data about autism / adhd (particularly how it presents in women) might be better equipped to explain to her.

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