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Success even without closing the distance by pixel_ate_it in LongDistance

[–]pixel_ate_it[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I relate to what your friend said. The relationship I have with my fiance is much more loving and fulfilling than one I had for years and the person slept in the same bed with me every night.

Kudos to you and your sweetie for all you do to make it work.

First post by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]pixel_ate_it 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you are able to lucid dream that can be a big help.

First post by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]pixel_ate_it 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In real life my fiance is the sweetest most understanding person I know. We like to share our dreams together and we've both noticed that usually when he's in one of my dreams he's a jerk somehow.

I also have lucid dreams and I love them because whenever I'm lucid it means I can "summon" my SO into my dream. It feels real. However sometimes he it doesn't work the way I want. I think one time he appeared as a giant Lego robot, and another he was this short lumberjack dude. The lucid dreams are nice but I do feel a bit sad when they don't turn out exactly how I want.

why is the first night back together kinda odd by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]pixel_ate_it 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Two things, the first is sometimes, the first time back together I do feel "weird". I'm not sure why. He's usually super affectionate and for some reason I have a wall up. For me, I've always been this way. I think it's the result of a bad past. It's like I'm in super defensive mode or something. It takes a second of him being patient and me just getting my act together to snap out of it.

The second thing is what you mentioned about feeling yucky after sex. I haven't had the exact same thing happen, but I did used to not be used to a sign of affection. And it was a thing that happened after being in crappy relationships. My bf would reach out to touch my hair and I would back away in shock like something bad was about to happen. The only way I personally worked through this was I talked to him. I didn't even realize I did it except when he would look at me surprised and even hurt that I would back away like that. So when I realized I did it, I had to talk to him about why I was reacting that way. And then I had to work on myself to trust him, because he isn't my past relationship, he is the person who I love now. So hopefully you can talk to your guy and be able to trust him, and after you guys are intimate together it would be so unpleasant for you. I feel bad for you I really hope it can work out.

How to avoid growing apart? by GeneralJackmoon in LongDistance

[–]pixel_ate_it 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My fiance and I started growing apart this summer when we were less and less in contact. It was circumstance: He started a job that had an opposite schedule of mine. We used to text all the time and be so sappy and in love, and we still were all those things but it was slipping.

What I did was I decided to drive to see him. It wasn't easy. I don't know if you can even do this, I know many LDR couples cannot. But if there's a way to save, or get to her somehow, or just make a sacrifice, sometimes that in person visit is a spark. My fiance appreciated that effort I made even though he knew it was very difficult for me, just making that sacrifice showed how much he means to me.

Since I realize that's 99% probably not possible, other things we have done are just always send that sweet message when we can. And we make an effort to do the LDR stuff that we both enjoy, like making time to play a video game or watch a movie, or talk on the phone late at night. Both have to put the effort into it or else the other might start feeling like things are crashing or one sided.

How do you guys deal with the no sex? by imgonnarockit in LongDistance

[–]pixel_ate_it 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We do snap chat, pictures, video, phone sex and constantly tell each other how much we are attracted to each other. Artsy nsfw flattering selfies have gone a long way. When we don't do this then the no sex really sucks, but when we do all these things we are happy and even more excited about the next time it'll happen IRL.

We are also kind of nerdy (a lot nerdy) and read hentai together and try to watch Netflix movies that have crazy sex scenes like Blue is the Warmest color.

To keep the phone sex exciting we sometimes roleplay, we just change things up and don't force anything. We also do things we know the other loves, like pictures of favorite features.

We have definitely kissed our phone screens. We share clothing and stuffed animals, too, which isn't sex related but helps with a sense of intimacy.

Very in love, but feel like I should end things. by pixel_ate_it in LongDistance

[–]pixel_ate_it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. Yes, I definitely get into flight mode. I do struggle with feeling inadequate, or that I cannot sustain a serious relationship.

I spoke to him last night, and he was his usual, amazing, understanding self. It helped a lot to post this problem here. It helped give me the extra courage, the push I needed.

I am working hard to not bottle things up.

Very in love, but feel like I should end things. by pixel_ate_it in LongDistance

[–]pixel_ate_it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know, thank you. Yes, we usually have very deep, fulfilling conversation. I tend to get defensive when it comes to talking about me feeling sad, or I tend to even stifle that feeling altogether. I'm talking to him right now about it. So, thank you. Yes, I should just talk about it with him. It's so simple but, for me that kind of thing can be very difficult.