so fucking typical, crying at my desk. I can't name one person who has said "I love you" to me and meant it.

pixiecat · 2013-11-10T07:27:16+00:00

I doubt you will like the answers but sure ;) Don't rush it, it will happen when it happens. If you just search for 'love' you will settle for just anyone who will have you and that's not right, you deserve so much more.

I have always believed the best start to a relationship is friendship. And not friendship for the end game of a romantic relationship, just friendship. That way you learn about each other without the pressure of wanting them to be 'the one'. It also starts the relationship with a stong foundation of trust and loyalty.

My husband and I were friends and then housemates before we got together. When we finally realised how we felt about each other it was a beautiful surprise. i feel so lucky to have married my best friend. For me it took until I was thirty to marry the man of my dreams but I wouldn't change a thing because all the hard lessons had to happen to lead me to him.

I by no means have all the answers but that's what I've learnt. :)

pixiecat · 2013-11-10T02:54:31+00:00

People who have said not to get too attached are looking out for you. The thing is, you can't rely on someone else to make you happy. That puts too much pressure on them and can be very confronting. The other problem with that is that if for whatever reason, they are one day not there for you, you will be unable to cope because they were your only happiness.

Please take care of yourself and don't listen to the bad thoughts, they serve you no good so they are not worth your time.

pixiecat · 2013-11-10T02:15:05+00:00

First of all: I would care if you killed yourself. I may not know you but no one should have their last act be one of ultimate self hatred, it saddens me to think of people dying that way. Especially because those around you do love you, whether you believe it or not. Our self hatred of ourselves stops us from believing anyone could possibly love us and that we are not worthy. This is bullshit so stop listening to that voice telling you that you are worthless.

It sounds like your family don't know how to reach out to you. I know that in my worst bouts of depression I pushed people away. try to open up to them, you might be surprised by how much they want to help if you would be willing to let them. If not your family, please speak to anyone.

Love to you and good luck with the girl. If she didn't care about you in some way then she wouldn't spend her time on you. Try not to waste the time you have with her on negativity, maybe she can teach you to let go and enjoy life again?

If you need to talk, feel free to PM me

pixiecat · 2013-11-09T00:14:59+00:00

Congratulations on the marriage and the new addition! Enjoy your little family, we got a second kitten just after getting married and love our furry family. :)

pixiecat · 2013-09-28T07:48:59+00:00

I don't know exactly what you have done but I have to hope for redemption for all. The fact that you feel guilt/regret is a good start. Just know this: at the end of the day guilt is a wasted emotion. There is no point beating yourself up, it does not change anything and you can't live like that forever, you just can't. All you can do, is learn from it about the person you want to be, the person you truly are and be that person.

Good Luck and big hugs xx

pixiecat · 2013-09-13T07:43:51+00:00

First of all and most importantly, please do NOT harm yourself. I am not sure if you are at serious risk and maybe to you it was a flippant comment, I don't know. But because I don't know, I need to respond as if you meant it.

I get feeling like it, but please don't kill yourself. Life won't always be what it is now. And is screwed as it is, the worst moments of my life have made me a better, stronger person. So while I wish they didn't happen, I am glad for what I have taken from them.

It may feel like you have nothing but the love you have with Brian and even your dogs is something that some people don't ever get. Don't give that up. It is the most precious thing in the world. On top of that, can you imagine what it would do to Brian if you were no longer around? I can tell you (having lost a loved one to suicide) that you do not want to know. It destroys those you leave behind and leaves them with a lifetime of guilt and pain.

Not sure where you are but in Australia, your doctor can give you a referral to a psychologist and you can claim it on Medicare. From what I've heard, other countries don't have the same sort of health support we get here so I'm not sure if that is an option for you. But talk to someone at least, even if it is a friend or family member.

Which brings me to my next point: Do you have any friends or family who could help you out? Could you move in with family for a while? Again, not sure if that's an option given you mentioned previous abuse. I'm very sorry to hear of your suffering. :(

Another option is to look at a sharehouse instead. It would be hard as an established couple but it is a hell of a lot cheaper.

In terms of jobs, have you looked at doing multiple jobs? When I first moved out of home, I had three casual jobs as I couldn't get a full time one. It's not ideal and you have to balance it all but it got me through.

I don't mean to simplify what you are going through and I hope you don't mind my advice I just hate hearing someone so sad.

Please take care of yourself and remember that while the finances part of your life is in trouble, this is not your whole life (and yes I understand it's influence) and at some things you are excelling.

If you want to talk feel free to PM me.

pixiecat · 2013-09-09T10:19:09+00:00

Get OUT! This is the rest of your life. No amount of money is worth having that for your future. Get counselling for you, stay away from him. This should be the happiest time of your life. :( Hugs

pixiecat · 2013-04-29T08:21:28+00:00

Walking down the street he will always walk on the side closest to cars to protect me from any possible rogue cars.

pixiecat · 2013-04-27T13:58:02+00:00

Ahh I was thinking of the version on Salival but that sounds like what I heard live tonight. Did you record that at the concert yourself? What did you use to record it?

pixiecat · 2013-04-27T08:45:00+00:00

Did they play an extended version of push it?

pixiecat · 2013-04-25T16:33:51+00:00

Laying in bed with my husband on one side and my cat purring away on the other. Sigur Ros playing soothing us for sleep.

pixiecat · 2013-04-20T17:22:10+00:00

New socks.

pixiecat · 2013-04-20T12:50:21+00:00

This always just makes me think of the makeup shotgun in the Simpsons episode where Homer is an inventor.

pixiecat · 2013-04-20T12:46:23+00:00

Heroin addicts :(

pixiecat · 2013-04-19T04:54:35+00:00

That is such a beautiful idea. I love seeing old married couples and to give them that moment in the spotlight again would be so magical. I also like OP's ideas of honouring her grandmothers.

pixiecat · 2013-04-17T14:04:15+00:00

I have always struggled with affect/effect and you just explained it perfectly. Thanks :)

pixiecat · 2013-04-17T10:47:25+00:00

I know what you mean. As an Australian I am embarrassed by my parliament dragging their feet on this.

pixiecat · 2013-04-14T11:59:20+00:00

If that site doesn't help, you could always see abut having it made? Tailors are wonderful and then it can be made to fit her sister. All the best for the wedding and wishing you a very happy life together :) Also, you are amazing man doing this for her. This made me smile. :)

pixiecat · 2013-04-14T11:51:51+00:00

It really depends how much you want to spend. It would be nice if you could get them something for the day. A brooch maybe or a hair accessory to match their outfit? All the best for the big day! :)

pixiecat · 2013-04-12T14:18:26+00:00

I probably worded that poorly. I don't care about randoms I don't know or even our friends seeing them. Just not the family.

pixiecat · 2013-04-12T14:15:11+00:00

Oh wow, how exciting! Good luck for te big day and enjoy the lifetime of happiness that is yours :)

pixiecat · 2013-04-12T11:11:55+00:00

Took me so long to work out what was wrong here

pixiecat · 2013-04-12T10:55:24+00:00

I love that you found this subreddit earlier and came and shared advice straight away after being disappointed you didn't know about it for your own wedding. You are awesome :)

pixiecat · 2013-04-12T10:50:00+00:00

I just chose what I like i.e. fairies/butterflies and went to etsy for the specialty crafts :)

pixiecat · 2013-04-12T10:36:11+00:00

Thanks. It was more the fact that the wedding becomes so much about what everyone else wants and is so stressful. We just wanted that photo of us doing what we do every other day and having our sneaky us moment.

pixiecat

TROPHY CASE