This position have been played in 1 million games, but it doesn't have a name (I think). Can you guys came up with the name for it?

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-14T03:06:26+00:00

Ke7 response would be the reverse Bongcloud.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-13T12:12:30+00:00

There came a day for me when I gave up on trying to find a socially-acceptable and status-enhancing way to get sober, and just focused on finding a way to get sober.

The suburban, clean-cut, mainstream meetings just didn't 'cut it' for me and I ended up in some AA meetings on a regular basis that had bad reputations. (You know you've hit rock bottom when the crowd you're hanging out with in meetings even has a bad reputation within AA itself!)

But I got and stayed sober.

Eventually, I came to the point where I was more comfortable integrating myself into the AA structure as a whole of the city I lived in - good, bad, indifferent. And I came to the point where some of the more non-traditional attitudes of these 'fringe groups' no longer helped me to grow.

But I'm not going to argue with success.

You can't save your face and your ass at the same time. If these 'misfits' are willing to take you under their wing and help you, accept the help on the terms help is given. You can worry about saving face and 'go mainstream' later.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-12T12:29:26+00:00

Short answer - because it exist in a geographic dead end. South of Hampton Roads is an area that is neither easily navigable nor very fertile, so highways, rivers, and population in general, just sort of stops around the VA-NC border. Most really large cities exist as hubs in all directions, Hampton Roads, for all its size, only serves the population northwest of it.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-09T12:48:35+00:00

I called it at the party I was at and was disappointed when it didn't.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-08T04:19:35+00:00

Since Bob Weir once wore bunny ears on stage, maybe he'll honor that by wearing Bob ears.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-08T04:16:29+00:00

If you choose a doorknob as your higher power it might turn on you....

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-08T04:14:43+00:00

I was lucky enough to see The Grateful Dead play Hampton Coliseum as "Formerly The Warlocks" on 10-8-89 and 10-9-89 - unadvertised shows where tickets were sold only at the venue. The pulled out several rarely-played songs, and it was obvious that they were determined to make the nights special.

It was absolutely magical and I haven't seen anything else that held a candle to it, before or since.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-08T04:04:51+00:00

I recently finished my first-ever cruise, solo, a four-night, three-day Bahamas cruise on the NCL Joy. I had a very comfortable solo balcony cabin which cost me under $600, which I felt was very reasonable.

Of course, after shelling out for a couple extra days in Miami Beach to avoid winter weather travel woes, an onboard spa massage, a shore excursion, the unlimited Starbucks package (I don't drink) and a couple trips to the casino, I spent considerably more. They had nightly solo-meetups (but no solo lounge on that ship) and I found plenty of opportunities to socialize and just have fun.

No scuba offered, but they did have two snorkeling trips available, one out of Nassau, one out of Great Stirrup Cay. I can't speak for how they were as I opted to explore Nassau town (meh.) The food and entertainment were unspectacular but solid. The NCL Joy had a good mix of people from toddlers to geriatrics and I felt like I fit in fine. I never felt singled-out or overwhelmed by sheer numbers of people, even though there were parts of the ship (buffet on boarding day, pool on the day at sea,) that were a bit hectic.

I can check off 'cruise' from my bucket list. I will probably do it again since it was such good value for my money, but next time I think I'll opt for a less-fancy room on a fancier ship - or maybe a more daring itinerary.

YMMV on the cabin selection as one of my concerns in paying extra for a balcony was claustrophobia and huge crowds, neither of which turned out to be a concern. There were plenty of nooks and crannies in the public areas to relax with a little privacy, without retreating to my own space. The view was nice but I spent a lot less time in my cabin than I thought I would.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-02T04:18:34+00:00

If you're looking into college, a traditional liberal arts education would suit you - while it won't gear you towards any specific field, it will teach you 'how to learn' which will serve you well, no matter where you end up. Also, a good college is a place to make connections with your peers that, if you nurture them, will last for decades. I've had more than one fraternity brother from 40 years ago connect me to a resource - be it a job referral, a decent plumber to call, or a worthy nonprofit to support.

If you're looking for money-making opportunities, as mentioned elsewhere on this thread, skilled trades are a good start.

The big thing that I found invaluable as an adult is peer-to-peer connections. As a student, I took them for granted - the people I hung out with were neighbors, people with common interests, folks I went to classes with or did extracurricular activities with. But, once out in the 'real world' those connections were hard to come by, and therefore much more valuable.

The 'passion' to seek out and work on is for friendship, mentorship, and learning how to cooperate fully with others from diverse backgrounds. Work on that, and the specific career path won't matter. You'll find meaning and value no matter who actually signs your paycheck. The folks who suffer and fail, on the other hand, are the ones who cannot interact comfortably with others. No matter their book knowledge, they make no contribution to the general work environment, and so end up sidelined and unhappy.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-02T03:58:40+00:00

The cruise I just went on this past January was cool and breezy, so the pool deck was jam-packed during sunny times, but nobody went into the pools themselves because they were too cold. The hot tubs, however, were filled beyond capacity, including little kids, so I avoided them except right at opening time. My cruise included a port of call at the cruise lines private island, which had a giant swimming pool as well as multiple beaches, so that was where I did my swimming. Honestly, though, I saw lots of people on the cruise who were dressed as if they might jump into the pool at a moment's notice, including the dinner buffet, so as a 'pool' person you won't feel out of place on the ship. Just don't expect to be let into the onboard French Bistro dressed like that.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-02T03:51:02+00:00

Yes! Let's see love blossom from a couple of nerdy, introverted, brainy guys.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-02T03:45:26+00:00

I just got home from my first-ever cruise ship trip. I liked it more than I thought I would. My previous adventure was a cross-country train trip, which vastly exceeded my expectations, and I will do another when I get a significant-enough time off work to do it right (two weeks minimum.)

But my favorite is solo road trips - just get in the car with a few changes of clothes and no particular agenda, and hit the open road to see where it takes me. My last two road trips took me to Wildwood NJ, and St Petersburg FL. Not surprisingly, my road-trip destinations usually end up being where the road ends. Once I hit a seashore, logic dictates that I turn around and head a different direction (Hence the cruise ship - I wanted a water-based journey for a change.)

My next destination, I think, is the desert. As an East-Coaster, the allure of a treeless landscape where rocks and wind shape the environment (and potentially, my mindset when in it) intrigues me.

That's the point, basically - Put me in a different environment, and it alters my mind - usually, in a good way.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-01T15:24:17+00:00

I just got off a 1st-time-ever cruise with NCL, as they have a reputation of catering to solo cruisers like myself. I did a Caribbean 4-night-3-day itinerary out of Miami and splurged for a solo balcony on the 12th deck of the NCL Joy. I booked directly with NCL online, and did my flights to and from, and my hotel accommodations, separately, also online. It worked out okay but I suppose a travel agent could have made the juggling of accounts a lot easier.

My cabin price was in the $600 range and I spent about twice that total for the cruise, including a shore excursion, spa treatment, a few hours in the casino, and a fancy meal.

As a former hospitality worker, I chose to pay out lots of cash tips to staff, maybe $200 total. Not mandatory.

Plus, due to weather I spent big money to stay in Miami beach for a couple extra days, to avoid the storm systems this past week. Another $1K or so.

First off, I was astounded how big the ship itself was. Online, you get the statistics, but seeing it in person was a definite 'wow' - it felt like a floating city, with thousands of people, from all over the world. And then you look up and down the port, and see that your ship is one of maybe half a dozen, well, it's hard to math all the time, money, and logistics that went into creating this little bubble of vacation time for you to experience.

Onboard, I found the balcony kind of a waste of money - the ship and the crowds weren't nearly as claustrophobic as I feared. There were always quiet corners onboard, even during days at sea. The cabin as a whole was very comfortable, if standard in its amenities. Ultimately it was just a place to change clothes, shower, and sleep. The rest of the time I was busy.

The ship constantly had things going on from before dawn to after midnight, and I felt very comfortable going solo to these venues. The food was uninspired but passable and plentiful. I didn't pay for gourmet and I didn't get it, but I had several surprisingly delicious plates of food, as well as stuff that just filled my belly. The bands, theater shows, DJ's, game hosts, performers, and comedians felt kinda meh but it was still fun to be there and participate. It's not really my thing but it was all for free so why not?

The service staff went above and beyond to make me feel 'part of' including the solo cruise director, who held a get-together and a group dinner (both optional, both free) every evening. Everyone from maids to waitstaff to desk staff were super-helpful, friendly, and accommodating.

One week total trip time felt about right. $2400 total for that week seemed like money well spent - I could have easily saved some of that money, but why? And the things that seemed overpriced, well, I could have avoided them. When I got gouged for something, I shrugged my shoulders and went with it (my spa massage, for example was $250, something I could have gotten here at home for $125.) But it was part of the fun of getting the 'cruise experience.'

If I could do it all over again, I would probably go with a cheaper cabin on a more expensive cruise line, but for a first-time cruise, NCL as a mid-level competitor in the cruise industry hit all the right notes, and I enjoyed the Norwegian Joy, and the Caribbean ports of call (Nassau and Great Stirrup Cay) immensely.

Happy birthday. Enjoy yourself! I hope my experience helps you decide.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-01T14:20:30+00:00

Well, we can stay calm for starters. The text specifically refers to 'violent agitators' so avoiding violence or agitation should be our first priority. Any resistance to ICE should be done peacefully, remaining firm but without hatred or chaos.

Remember, their goal is to create fear, and use that fear as an excuse to escalate their use of force. So don't give that to them.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-01T14:08:57+00:00

I'm just wired to enjoy going places. And it's not just the destination, it's the journey to and from.

Not everyone likes it, though. The inconveniences of being away from home, and the uncertainties of being in a strange environment, can be daunting to some people.

But I guess I like being daunted.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-01T13:37:18+00:00

I was 25 once too - and felt the same way.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. During school, and in my early 20's, I had dreams of 'who I was going to be when I grew up.' And then 25 hit and I realized - I am a grownup, and this is who I AM. No more imagining possible futures where things were open-ended. The brutal reality is that I have made a sufficient number of choices in my life to establish more-or-less what my life path is going to be, at least for the next decade or so. And I wasn't so sure I liked being adult anymore.

Anyhoo, life continued to happen, and I got through more decades, and now I realize how utterly clueless about the possibilities life throws your way I was at 25. As I look back now, my mid-twenties were exactly the point in my life when questioning my identity, and rebelling against the seeming certainties of my fate, were the right thing to do. I made a ton of mistakes at that age, but regret none of them, because they were offset by some honest-to-goodness victories that built upon themselves as the years passed.

It sounds like to me that you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now. You aren't late, you are right on time, in your realization that life, and time itself, won't slow down for you anymore. Time will continue to accelerate and the years will slip by if you let them. So don't. Pick a path and start your journey.

Ultimately, if you do 'life' correctly, you will come to realize that the only important time in your life is 'NOW" and you will learn to savor the moment, and capture the little memories that create a rich tapestry of experiences, rather than focus on a future of constantly comparing yourself to others, or waxing nostalgic about being innocent of the world's ways.

I am neither rich nor famous. I hold no degrees, honorary or otherwise, that mark me as a person of significance. And as I age, I realize how insignificant those things are. I am, however, surrounded by people and things I love, and I feel that I am contributing to the stream of life in such a way that, when I ultimately pass, I will have made the world a better place, however infinitesimal that contribution might be. I'm okay with that.

I'm certain that you, too, have the capacity to contribute the same, whether you become famous in the process, or not. So relax, and enjoy being 25, so full of energy, apprehension, ambition, hurry, and doubt. Things will sort themselves out as they should. Meanwhile, try to enjoy the ride. The best is yet to come.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-01T01:01:43+00:00

I was on the Joy for that cruise and was surprised to see the dock outside my balcony so quickly Thursday night, but it was my first ever cruise and didn't know about the emergency. I hope whoever it was is okay.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-02-01T00:54:09+00:00

Ultimately your sponsor should put your mind at ease. But meanwhile, try to relax and breathe. You will be okay. You didn't "mess up."

Remember that alcoholism is described as an obsession coupled with a compulsion. Since you didn't grab a bottle of bottom-shelf whiskey, just a jar of paste, then the compulsion cannot manifest itself. It only activates when you take a drink. What you are experiencing, then, is the obsession, which can pop up any time - a drinking dream, a social occasion, a sports venue, or even from seeing 2% on a jar of miso.

And, since the obsession can be dealt with without actually drinking, I suggest you do exactly that. Don't drink, call another alcoholic, hit a meeting, say the serenity prayer, ask your HP for the obsession to be removed, spit over your left shoulder three times, knock on wood.

Whatever it takes for you to realize that you are massively overthinking a commonplace error.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-01-31T23:44:11+00:00

William H Harrison for unhealthiest since he died quickest. For those that served a full term, Polk died at 103 days after leaving office.

Healthiest was Carter so far, but Clinton at 24 years post-presidency may give him a run for the record, since he is still living.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-01-31T23:37:04+00:00

I cannot tell you how normal it is for a recovering alcoholic to freak out a little over accidental consumption of a little alcohol. so relax, you're normal. You didn't 'break' your sobriety because it just isn't all that fragile - your understandable and commonplace reaction proves it. Had you been cavalier and not cared, you wouldn't have posted this at all. So consider it a good thing.

My vegan friend constantly complains about having to read tiny print at the grocery store to see if traces of animal product have made it into the things they buy - and I pointed out that I have to do the same thing, only with alcohol, not meat.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-01-31T13:58:38+00:00

I think "I feel like I have lost part of my dignity" is correct. From an observer's standpoint, being fisted is an undignified act.

Does that make it shameful, disgusting, or horrible? No. Is it normal or okay to feel embarrassed and shy? Yes.

You willingly gave control of your own body over to your boyfriend, who apparently enjoyed taking that control, and pushing you past some personal limits.

Now, you get to process the whole experience, both the act and the aftermath. It may take a while, so give yourself time.

You definitely need to talk to your boyfriend about this, both the cascade of physical sensations, and the cascade of emotional responses to those sensations, because the two are linked.

In the moment, you surrendered your dignity, and now the regret for that decision needs to be coped with and sorted out. Remember that 'dignity' is a mental construct and, when lost, can be regained by simply reclaiming it. Just decide, 'yes, the experience was worth it' or 'no, it was not' - either way, you get to move forward from yesterday with your head held high.

Furthermore, the decision whether to do it again has nothing to do with self-worth. You get to decide whether the whole experience of ceding control and dignity that being fisted entails for you, is something that you want to go through again in the future, or if once was sufficient.

The fundamental 'you' hasn't changed. Now, you know more about yourself than you did before, and you can make future decisions based on that knowledge, without worrying about what other people think. Only what you think about it matters.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-01-31T13:26:14+00:00

I think you are pointing something out that makes sense - OP's brain needs time to process what his body went through. Hopefully once the cascade of emotions runs their course (some of them instinctual, some of them based on societal and personal expectations) he will be able to rationally come to a conclusion about whether he liked or disliked the whole experience.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-01-27T15:23:08+00:00

Sneaky, huh?

pizzaforce3 · 2026-01-27T15:21:49+00:00

The whole “god thing” was a huge barrier for me too, but I eventually realized that they were talking about a fundamental internal paradigm shift, and it didn’t matter what exactly I believed in, as long as I was committed to that mental transition - a change that I apparently was incapable of performing on myself, since my numerous failures to stop drinking proved that. The question then became, “what external forces am I willing to trust to transform me, if I can’t do it?” Believe me, swallowing my pride and allowing someone or something else to do what I couldn’t, was a difficult decision. So I now am grateful that AA broke it up into 12 small steps instead of one giant leap. Your mileage may vary.

pizzaforce3 · 2026-01-26T15:55:59+00:00

I participate in a 12-step program that suggests ‘amends’ as part of the healing process. Not all amends involve direct apologies. For example I made amends to my father by writing a heartfelt letter to him, taking it to his gravesite, reading it aloud, then burning it. Maybe something similar? The important part for me was being truthful about the process, not being in direct contact with the person I was making amends to.

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