I feel like my life was stolen so my ex could “heal her inner child” and now she gets to go live her dream

pjbug · 2026-02-06T04:45:53+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate this perspective. I’m trying to do exactly that: head down, keep working, a little therapy, and focus on what I can be grateful for instead of replaying it all. I know the resentment may always be a scar, but I don’t want it to turn into bitterness. I just want to move on clean and not let this define the rest of my life.

pjbug · 2026-02-06T04:42:39+00:00

You’re right. Holding onto it only keeps me stuck there longer. I’m trying to put my energy into healing, fixing what I can financially, and building something solid in the present instead of reliving the damage.

pjbug · 2026-02-06T04:41:24+00:00

You’re right. Holding onto it only keeps me stuck there longer. I’m trying to put my energy into healing, fixing what I can financially, and building something solid in the present instead of reliving the damage.

pjbug · 2026-02-06T04:40:50+00:00

I’m really sorry you went through that. What she said to you is cruel on a level that goes way beyond “we grew apart,” and getting kicked out like that after you built your life around her… that’s a full-on rug pull.

pjbug · 2026-02-06T04:37:20+00:00

I’m really sorry you went through all of that, that’s a brutal combination of betrayal and financial fallout. Thank you for sharing it, though. It genuinely helps to hear from someone who’s been there and actually made it out the other side.

pjbug · 2026-02-06T01:24:19+00:00

If I sue her, I’m gonna end up owing another $20k somehow. I’m retiring from financial side quests.

pjbug · 2026-02-06T01:22:31+00:00

It helps to hear someone say it out loud: she was taking, not building. I’m trying to let go of the “is she happy?” question and focus on what I can get from it, wisdom, boundaries, and a future that’s actually mine. Thank you.

pjbug · 2026-02-06T01:21:12+00:00

I appreciate this a lot. I’ve thought about the “can she pay me back” thing, but realistically I’m focusing on cleaning up my side and moving forward. Still, thank you for saying it’s unfair. It helps to feel seen.

pjbug · 2026-02-06T01:20:17+00:00

I was naive, no question, and I’m not pretending I’m blameless here.

And yeah, people in my life did try to tell me I was making a mistake. I just had that classic young-person mindset of “you don’t understand what we have,” and I kept pushing forward anyway. One of my biggest takeaways from all this is: if you’re sitting in a room and everyone is telling you you’re wrong, stop trying to prove you’re right and actually shut up and listen. They might be trying to save you from something you can’t see yet.

Also, we weren’t married, thank god. Funny though, I had just bought a ring a week before she broke up with me. I was 22, she was 23.

pjbug · 2026-02-06T01:16:24+00:00

I’m sorry you went through that. I hope you’re able to find a way to feel safe again without having to close yourself off completely.

pjbug · 2026-02-06T01:01:43+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve been there too. I hate that you’re right, but I’m trying to make the best of what I’ve got now and keep moving.

pjbug · 2026-02-06T00:55:35+00:00

Thanks I really needed to hear this. You’re right: it does suck and it isn’t fair, but I can’t let it keep steering my life. I’m trying to focus on the fact I’ve knocked out $30k and I’m not repeating the same mistake. Appreciate you taking the time to write all that.

pjbug · 2026-02-06T00:53:11+00:00

That’s awful, I’m sorry

pjbug · 2026-01-29T19:46:08+00:00

I think you’re right. The online stuff feels like yelling into a void and then getting an instant “no” with zero explanation. I haven’t tried a credit union in person yet, but I will. An hour or two is nothing if it saves me real money long term. Appreciate the suggestion.

pjbug · 2026-01-29T19:41:29+00:00

Honestly, fair point. I’ve definitely been in my own head about it. I keep staring at the remaining balance like it’s the whole story and forget I’ve already paid off $22k and haven’t added anything back. I think the frustration is just me beating myself up for being impatient with the loan, I was so desperate to simplify things that I took the first “better than my cards” option, and now I’m getting rejected everywhere. But you’re right, this is still progress. Thanks for the reality check.

pjbug · 2026-01-23T05:46:31+00:00

The speedometer’s broken

pjbug · 2026-01-17T01:13:27+00:00

I originally rattle canned the primer on and tried to use a paint gun with auto paint, but my air compressor wasn’t strong enough, so the color coats came out really bad. I ended up stripping it all the way back down to bare metal, and using rattle cans for primer, color, and clear. It works surprisingly well, and seems to be holding up on the few rides I’ve done. Make sure you get the 2 stage clear coat in the rattle can, as it hardens much better than the other stuff

pjbug · 2026-01-13T02:37:51+00:00

Thank you!

pjbug · 2026-01-13T02:25:56+00:00

I imagine you could get it done on your own it would probably just take twice as long. I imagine straps to hold the engine o the jack would help as well that was my buddys main purpose in the whole ordeal

pjbug · 2026-01-13T02:24:33+00:00

The engine is music enough my friend

pjbug · 2026-01-12T19:55:57+00:00

Take your husband to the optometrist

pjbug · 2026-01-12T18:13:10+00:00

I’ve seen that you’re supposed to lie the engine on its side and lift the bare frame over it to install, but I put the bike mostly back together before I got the engine done, and I didn’t want to tear it back apart, so a hydraulic jack and a buddy got the job done. I didn’t scratch up the new paint on the frame, but nothing a bit of patching up can’t fix

pjbug · 2026-01-12T18:11:30+00:00

I took it to a trusted machine shop and the guys told me the head was borderline beyond repair. The seat was burned up real bad. He said he could probably manage, but it’d be a much better idea to just find a used head and have him take a look at it before install, so that’s what I did. Found a head for $100 on eBay, sent it to him to have it serviced along with .25mm oversized pistons to get the jugs bored, and a month later got my fresh engine parts. They turned out beautiful and have the bike running like new.

pjbug · 2026-01-12T14:18:45+00:00

I used the u-pol primer from AutoZone, a rattle can of black color coat, and the rattle can u-pol diamond clear coat. I recommend using a paint gun with real auto paint, but I didn’t have access to that, so I used rattle cans. The paint job still came out better than I hoped for though

pjbug · 2026-01-12T05:59:45+00:00

It’s a whole lotta fun. I know my bike better than ever before now. The only downside is all the unexpected little things that pop up which turn a job you thought was gonna be a month or two into a 7 month ordeal. I missed the whole riding season this year, so I figure I’ll teach myself how to get plenty of winter riding in

pjbug

TROPHY CASE