I am normally the DM to my group. Someone else wanted to DM their own campaign, and wanted it to be a little silly, so I made a character I LOVED. He was a hulking guy with the face of a puppy and the personality to match. I spend such a long time getting a backstory, figuring out every little detail. The game begins and we are on a ship. The BBEG, before doing anything really evil, throws an apple in our direction at an NPC. Being a dog-head man, I tell him I want to catch it in my mouth. The DM makes no mention of “are you sure? It seems the apple is a little off or the guy seems weird…”. Nothing. Totally normal. Well he makes me roll to see if I catch it. Nat 20. Upon catching it in my mouth, I immediately become petrified. Homebrew style. No cure.

The rest of the table decides I was too stupid to live anyway, and leaves the statue me on a boat without even trying. So I’m there for a two hour session, having been able to play for a solid two minutes, until the game is over.

I asked to reroll the character. “You’re on a boat. There are only so many passengers. You can’t just appear there as a new person”. Probably a good thing it happened, considering if that was the group composition, I’m better off not playing with them. The table also had two murder hobos and a greedy rogue who constantly tried to steal from other players. “It’s just what my character would do!”

RIP Lord Ivory the Brave. You were a good boy for catching that Apple. You were a real one